Believers Love Christ's Appearing

I cannot wrap my mind around why unbelievers do not want Christ. When He changes us the joy floods in and we are equipped through the Holy Spirit to handle the trials of life with strength and dignity.

There is no greater joy than knowing we are only here on earth for a short time and then heaven awaits us where Christ in all His love will protect us for eternity.

1 John 4:9-10

"9 By this the love of God was revealed in us, that God has sent His only Son into the world so that we may live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins."

Those who have been born again do not face judgment for their sins and they love the freedom from sin that dwells in them every day.

Sin is a bondage people cannot see when they are in the midst of it. They think it is freedom to sin and do not see how ruinous it is for themselves and others.

When we have been taken out of the life of sin we can look back and see what a wreck it was and we were. When we are sinful and our families are sinful we don't notice how rotten it all is.

When I became born again my eyes were opened to the continual anger and competitiveness that was common and no one in the family saw it they thought it was normal.

Before I was born again I was continually sad and knew something was off but couldn't understand it all. I turned to sin to comfort myself, the more I indulged myself the more sad I became.

When Christ opened my eyes after becoming born again I realized how spiritually ugly I was and how spiritually dirty the whole family environment was, even though they all thought they were better than others.

They all refrained from the "really big sins" but were rude, cruel and mean most of the time. Or perhaps it was just me they covertly tormented and hid it from the rest of the world.

When we are a target we can see much more clearly than those who are pampered and treated special. Anyone who is flattered and praised continually will not be able to see the rottenness, they only see how happy they feel at the schmoozing.

These people do not notice how sad the target is and even will think something is wrong with us for not joining in with the rudeness and crudeness.

I never remember a time when someone even smiled at me in love, if they did it was to ridicule and demean. The pleasure they had from hurting those they disrespected was devilish.

I remember hearing family members mock fat people. I hated it because I had empathy for those who were heavy. Something inside told me there was more to their obesity than just overeating. There was a lot of judging others for things that were not sins but just outward appearances.

My mother once mocked me because I liked to wear long skirts after I became more mature. She once told me that I should show my calves because they were the prettiest part of my legs. I often wondered why she wanted to show off her legs to others.

You might read this article and think I was raised in a family that was not Christian, but they all claimed they were and even attended church gatherings every week. They even judged others who did not attend without knowing them.

At home, there was no love, kindness or conversation over good things, and the name of Jesus Christ was never mentioned. There were only rules for conduct to impress the neighbors or extended family. Many of these rules had nothing to do with righteousness, they were only there because the culture demanded them, it had nothing to do with pleasing God.

When I would ask legitimate questions I was met with rude comments to shut down any discussion. I came to believe that anything I said or did was automatically judged as foolish and unworthy of discussion. Only to find out that these family members were trained by the culture to only speak things people like to hear, truth didn't matter as long as they all felt good about themselves.

This is the reason I spent so much time questioning things. After I became born again I asked Jesus Christ in me for wisdom to know how to deal with it all and His answer came back that I should remove myself from those who are looking for praise and care nothing about the inner heart but are fixated on appearances to impress others.

When I meet another believer who loves the Lord I see none of these traits of snarky worldliness in them. They are always kind and empathetic toward others. Sadly most people in church gatherings today have never been changed into a new creation by Christ because they joined the Christian church but never became born again and lack all the fruit of the Spirit.

Once the Lord opens our eyes through our transformation by Him they can never be closed again.

Our response to those who have chosen cultural Christianity believe they are superior to others and deserve continual praise. When we see this we know the pride of the devil still remains, there has been no change and as they grow older they become more angry than they were in their youth.

I pray for them but avoid contact,, once we have become a target they will never hear us, see us, or value our wisdom from Christ. They desire to see us as the broken people we used to be in order to feel superior to us. God must use someone else.

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I loved my family but they never once showed love to me, it became impossible to forget the past because the attitudes remain the same today, I can only expect that the future will not be different in our relationships.

Yes, God can change anyone, I am proof of that! However, He will not change anyone who does not want Him to change them. He will not override their free will to choose or reject Him.

If I trust in Christ I have to trust that He knows what to do with them without my help. And, thankfully Christ moves us on to those who love Him as much as we do, what a blessing to be able to speak openly about Christ and delve into the word of God with them as we grow closer to Him and to one another.

In these last days the apostate church will only harm those who are seeking to be led by Christ. Those who are pretenders will attempt to convince us there is something wrong with us when we want to follow the Bible in everything, when we search His Word to find His will, they will mock us, demean us and worse gossip against us without evidence of what they spread.

They did it to Christ and they do it to us too.

1 Peter 4:12-19 "1 Peter 4:12-19

Share the Sufferings of Christ

12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you;

13 but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that at the revelation of His glory you may also rejoice and be overjoyed.

14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory, and of God, rests upon you.

15 Make sure that none of you suffers as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler;

16 but if anyone suffers as a Christian, he is not to be ashamed, but is to glorify God in this name.

17 For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?

18 And if it is with difficulty that the righteous is saved, what will become of the godless man and the sinner?

19 Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God are to entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right."

Keep looking up, it won't be long now and we will all be together at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb with Christ, surrounded by all the saints who loved His appearing.

2 Timothy 4:8 "in the future there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing."

Why Unbelievers Reject the Gospel

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/--RcfB2CvTQ

Follow Christ and He Casts Out Fear

When we are in Christ we ought never to blindly follow any man. Anyone who blindly follows any man will believe more lies than they understand truth.

Objective analytical thinking is demolished when we allow ourselves to elevate any person above God.

Romans 3:4

"4 Far from it! Rather, God must prove to be true, though every person be found a liar, as it is written:

“So that You are justified in Your words,

And prevail when You are judged.”"

If we are sheepish around a preacher or teacher it demonstrates that we are placing that person in an elevated position unable to correct them if they are wrong and willing to believe anything they say.

Sadly, many church gatherings raise the leaders as special and perfect, accepting whatever they say even if they know they disobey the word of God.

Followers of men change the word of God to match pitch with what the preacher says so as not to have to confront the error from fear of rejection by the one they elevate and all the others who also elevate that leader.

We are living in apostate times, most people in church gatherings have a worshipful attitude toward people but not toward God. If the preacher says something different from the Bible those hearing will believe the people and not God's Word.

2 Timothy 4:3

"3 For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires,"

Life is easier for nonthinking people followers because they never have to encounter rejection or isolation from those they hope will accept them.

Personally, I would rather be rejected by everyone to follow Christ than have the backbone of a spineless squid unable to think for myself. Groupthink is common now and detestable to God.

Acts 5:41

"So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name."

1 Corinthians 11:16-33 "16 Again I say, let no one think me foolish; but if you do, receive me even as foolish, so that I also may boast a little.

17 What I am saying, I am not saying as the Lord would, but as in foolishness, in this confidence of boasting.

18 Since many boast according to the flesh, I will boast also.

19 For you, being so wise, tolerate the foolish gladly.

20 For you tolerate it if anyone enslaves you, if anyone devours you, if anyone takes advantage of you, if anyone exalts himself, if anyone hits you in the face.

21 To my shame I must say that we have been weak by comparison.

But in whatever respect anyone else is bold—I am speaking in foolishness—I too am bold.

22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they descendants of Abraham? So am I.

23 Are they servants of Christ?—I am speaking as if insane—I more so; in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death.

24 Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes.

25 Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent adrift at sea.

26 I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers at sea, dangers among false brothers;

27 I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.

28 Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches.

29 Who is weak without my being weak? Who is led into sin without my intense concern?

30 If I have to boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness. 31 The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, He who is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying.

32 In Damascus the ethnarch under Aretas the king was guarding the city of the Damascenes in order to seize me,

33 and I was let down in a basket through a window in the wall, and so escaped his hands."

If we think the mean looks and exclusion from gatherings is a problem for us perhaps we ought to realize we are not nearly as persecuted as we think. We live a cushy life here in this country, the worse that happens to us is that family and friends will become insulting, SO WHAT!!!!! How small is our sacrifice when all we have to endure are mean looks and words that cannot take away our relationship with Jesus Christ.

I feel ashamed at the times I shrunk back from speaking the truth in fear someone might not like me. Jesus Christ lives in me, it is foolish of me to fear anything or anyone else.

Matthew 10:28

"28 And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

2 Timothy 1:7 "7 For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."

Nothing in this World is Worth Keeping!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TnHtllVsEwM

Narcissists are Gossips and Think Others are Like Them

Narcissists are gossips so they think if anyone knows anything about them others will gossip about them. They are angry on the inside and believe others are angry too.

They evaluate everything they think and do based on their own character but assign it to others when often it is not true that others are not doing what the narcissist thinks they are doing.

Narcissists process everything in terms of their own thinking. They never know anyone else intimately because they do not pay attention to the needs and desires of others.

They assume others are the same as they are and when they discover someone is not like them they hate that person who dares to be different.

Narcissists are rude so often so they assign a bad motive to others who have good actions, because if the narcissist were doing that good deed they would be manipulating.

Control is everything to the narcissist. Their motives are always based on manipulating others so they believe others are doing the same thing.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Secret keepers are full of shame over their own anger but will not admit it. They live in fear that someone will discover the real them.

The only remedy for this problem is repentance to be cleansed by Christ. They will never change until they reach the bottom and see their need for cleansing in Christ.

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Choose the Wisdom of Christ over the Wisdom of God

It is astounding how many people are caught up in every kind of conspiracy theory that they see but have no concern for what God said was going to happen very soon in the world.

Why do people believe the media lies and tremble with fear but have no interest in what God said?

Man often believes man and will not believe God. Perhaps pride has something to do with it, they enjoy the sensationalism man has to offer and demean what God said.

Psalm 118:8

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."

Jeremiah 17:5

"Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord."

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

Listening to men for our wisdom is rooted in the same pride that motivated Eve to believe the devil when he enticed her to believe him instead of God. He caused Eve to question God as though God was lying to her. He brought doubt and confusion and worst of all distrust in God.

When someone shares a lie claiming it is from God we are duty-bound to expose it and reject it openly so that others will not be deceived as Eve was, which led to the curse that plagued mankind.

We must always tell the truth of God's Word no matter the consequences, no matter the rejection or anger toward us.

2 Timothy 3:13-17

"While evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."

If the only way to follow God fully is to be alone with Christ, choose Him over people.

The Modern Church is full of Half Truths which are ALL Lies

More is Caught Than Taught

"More is caught than taught", is a phrase that explains the overgrowth of narcissism in our culture. Everyone does what everyone else is doing rather than seeking Christ to see what is righteous.

When we see this happening we can thank the Lord when these angry people who love their sin reject us because we do not fit into their clique.

I would rather be alone with Christ than surround myself with people who are arrogant, rude, and self-righteous. There is danger in remaining in groups that love their arrogance, the danger is that we will become like them just to get along.

Proverbs 26:3-5 "…3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools! 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he become wise in his own eyes."

If we want to become wise and walk in integrity we must surround ourselves with others who love Christ and value His principles above anything or anyone else.

Proverbs 23:9

"Do not speak to a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words."

Proverbs 29:9

"If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution."

1 Corinthians 3:18-19 "18 Let no one deceive himself. If any of you thinks he is wise in this age, he should become a fool, so that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness.”…"

Proverbs 13:20 "ne who walks with wise people will be wise, But a companion of fools will suffer harm."

Proverbs 15:31

"He who listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise."

Those who rage against correction and exact revenge on believers who tell them the truth are fools and will not make good companions to those who wish to follow Christ.

Pretenders are Everywhere Now

Proverbs 22-25 "24 Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, 25 or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.…"

The reason it is not wise to be constant companions with narcissists is because their tactics are designed by the devil to poke at us until we respond the way they act, in anger.

We are wise when we ignore an insult and remove from our lives those who act disrespectfully on a regular basis.

A person with the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness and self-control, we never treat others with disdain.

Our character will be what comes out of us continually. If a person is angry they will act mean on a regular basis. The angry narcissists will be rude to those they wish to hate and friendly to those they wish to impress. They are fake when they are kind and lie to themselves that those they treat disrespectfully deserve it.

If a person is loving and kind they will act this way continually with everyone. Those who are filled with the Spirit of God hate to harm anyone even in the slightest way. If they are accidentally rude, perhaps bumping into someone in the super market aisle they will apologize. A narcissist will blame the person they bump into for being in their way.

The fruit of the Spirit of God operates in this fruit all the time with everyone, they do not favor one person over another. Their love and kindness does not come and go, it is constant.

Galatians 5:22-23 - "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

The fruit of the Spirit is not something we can try to be, it is given when someone becomes, given by Christ when we become born again. The fruit are the qualities of Christ that dwells in every believer.

If you meet someone who plays favorites and is mean to some people and overtly friendly to others, and justifies it, then you have met someone who says they are Christian but were never born again. They are playing the game of Christian without possessing the Holy Spirit. Many people in our culture today fit into this category.

Matthew 7:21-23

I Never Knew You

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’

23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"

When we discover that someone is a pretender it is good to keep our distance from them. They will become easily angered at the slightest suggestion that they need an attitude adjustment through confession of their sinful nature and to be changed by the Holy Spirit. They need the salvation message once again.

When someone refuses to hear a correction and fights to exact revenge on the truth teller then they are not able to hear the truth and we must avoid them.

2 Timothy 3 describes the attitudes in the church in the last days of apostasy. They pretend to have "religion" but they do not love Christ.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."

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To Warn You!!!

The Apostate Church Culture is Dangerous; Avoid It

Our modern Christian culture has distorted forgiveness to fit the psychology of our day. We are told to forgive when the offender confesses and is sorry. We are not told to forgive those who are not repentant.

Luke 17:3-4 "…3Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Accountability is the key to changed behavior and even spiritual growth. Without it there is no growth. If we love others we will hold them accountable so that they can learn repentance.

There are those who would say that we do not have to ask forgiveness to those we have offended because David said to God; "you alone have I offended." While it is true that we must confess to God first we must also confess to those we have offended in order to reconcile the relationships that we broke.

Matthew 18:15-20

“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven. “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”

No one grows in holiness without confession of sin. And, relationships are not mended without humility and the desire to show the offended one that we love them too much to allow them to think we hold them in such low regard.

1 John 1:9

"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

We forgive as God forgave, when there is confession. A relationship cannot be mended when one party refuses to admit they were offensive.

Sadly, in our day most people are too prideful to admit they have been offensive and will fight when approached by the one they offended to resolve a problem.

It is not surprising that so many preachers spend more time on forgiveness than they do on confession of sin because secretly in their hearts they want to bypass the need for admission of guilt. What they do not understand is that having to humble ourselves in confessing our offense it grows us making us unlikely to do the same sins again.

This is why we do not see people change, they will not confess, and they sweep their offense under the rug only to emerge later again and again and again. They reoffend over and over again expecting their victims to just "let it go."

In 2 Timothy 3:4-5 God tells us to stay away from such people, they are brutal and unrepentant with the ability to cause frustration in their victims leaving them unusable for the Kingdom of God. Bad company corrupts good character and we must avoid them.

1 Corinthians 15:33

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” The ultimate punishment or fear is separation from God."

Those who argue to win in a conversation without concern for others are walking in fear. They fight because of the fear of losing something, that is power over others.

When we love Christ we have no need to "win over" others. We can be open and honest in a calm and loving spirit without regard for the reactions of others.

In our world today people are easily offended by disagreement or correction. They use snarky retorts to intimidate others into feeling inferior, and also a way to silence those who are weak in their spirit.

We are bold as lions as born-again believers and have no need to be accepted by those who love to dominate us for their own feelings of superiority.

The most freeing thing in the world is to be able to be authentic and unaffected by the responses and intimidation of those who walk in fear.

Isaiah 41:10

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

Isaiah 41:13

"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

There are many people in the world now who are calling "bad good and good bad." These people deliberately mock and intimidate to cause believers to shrink back in silence to avoid the problems these wicked people create. They count on the group around them to validate them while they create fear in those they attack.

Matthew 10:27-29 "…27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the housetops. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Instead, fear the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father."

Sadly, I have seen more of this mocking and intimidation than I have godly responses based on love. The culture in which I live is dominated by self-will and revenge when those who are challenged cannot win over a bold and confident born-again believer.

Praise God and Jesus Christ Who lives in us that we do not walk in fear and cannot be intimidated to recoil when attacked by self-important individuals.

Again, sadly many of these individuals are in the church gatherings. They are not humble, but are full of arrogance, emotionally and spiritually bludgeoning anyone who corrects them rather than sitting down calmly and lovingly to have a conversation using God's Word and praying for wisdom so that both parties can come to an agreement.

We are commanded to agree, this does not mean giving up truth to be able to be friendly, it means that we go back to prayer and Bible study to discern truth.

Those who seek Christ together rarely disagree, they both love the word so much that Christ in them has shown them. Christ is not divided.

2 Corinthians 11:3-5

"3 But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his trickery, your minds will be led astray from sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

4 For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, this you tolerate very well!

5 For I consider myself not in the least inferior to the most eminent apostles."

Every born-again believer is subject to one another, no one is higher than the other because it is Christ Who is pre-eminent not the person.

Overt vs Covert Narcissism

The overt narcissist will speed through town and when stopped by the police they will blame the car. The covert narcissist will speed through town when stopped by the police and will blame someone else.

Each one blames something or someone else for their own lack of self-control or faulty thinking. They will never take responsibility for their own attitudes or actions which is the very reason they never grow emotionally or spiritually.

No one can grow into maturity who cannot admit their own flaws and failings.

1 John 1:9 "1 John 1:9

"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

When a born-again believer walking with Christ fails or sin they confess it quickly because the burden of the Holy Spirit on them disquiets their very nature and produces humility and guilt that leads them to confess.

When we meet someone who refuses to admit they have offended then we might be observing someone who claims to be a "Christian" but has never been born again.

Matthew 7:21-23 clearly explains that many people will think they are all right with God but who does not know Him.

Matthew 7:21-23 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.

22 Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’

23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; leave Me, you who practice lawlessness.’"

Many family members attend gatherings every week of their lives and lack all the fruit of the Spirit of God but think they are saved.

Galatians 5:22-23 - "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

Worse yet, when they are confronted with their arrogance and false humility they rage instead of repent.

Proverbs 29:9-10 "9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raging and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"

There can only be solutions to relationship problems when the gossip stops and those who gossiped or believed the gossip repent. There can only be solutions to relationship problems when there is compassion and interest in both the one who was offended and the offender.

Problems are never resolved by just "letting it go", they are resolved the way God said they would be, that is both parties coming in humility to discuss a matter honestly. However, in our world today it is nearly impossible to have an honest discussion in humility when everyone has been trained to defend themselves to preserve their "self-esteem." Biblical standards for relationship resolution are nearly non-existent and those who attempt to employ God's way are demeaned, mocked, and shut down before there can be any real dialogue.

Matthew 5:22-24 "…22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ will be subject to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be subject to the fire of hell. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.…"

Sometimes someone who says they are a Christian will not "call someone a fool" but they will treat them as though they are a fool, it is the same principle. Actions are expressions of what is inside already. Actions and words cannot be separated.

Romans 12:16–19

16 give in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.1 Never be wise in your own sight. 17 repay no one evil for evil, but have thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

When we love someone we are deeply sorrowful when we think we have offended them and want to make it right. However, narcissists don't care about nurturing a relationship or repairing it, they only care about winning over those they wish to dominate.

May we care more about pleasing God than preserving our fleshly appearance or dominating anyone. When we love Christ we do not care about dominating anyone, we care about the spiritual well-being of others.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth."