Behavior Exposes the Person

"Believe Behavior not words."

"Your actions speak so loud I can't hear a word you are saying"

"Actions speak louder than words."

Words mean nothing if not backed up by actions. 

The Accusations are from the Devil

A narcissist will accuse someone of having a problem they don't have. Narcissists will accuse others of what the narcissist does and the others do not.

The goal of the narcissist is to get their target to feel guilty even when there has been no offense. Getting someone else to feel guilty, making them doubt their own reality is the best way the narcissist has of controlling others.

The narcissist loves the hurt and angry reaction that comes from their target, it makes them feel in control.

The target to be controlled are generally those who have a higher standard of love and kindness, a Biblical stance that the narcissist resents, or have accomplished something else in life that appears superior to the narcissist.

The target may not feel superior to the narcissist but if the narcissist feels inferior to the target they will pretend the target is at fault and acting above others.

Narcissists hate to be beneath anyone else, this is why they work so hard to appear superior and all-knowing.

When I was much younger something good happened to me, a prize at school, a family member came up to me and said; "I bet you think you are better." I had no thought in my mind at all about being better, but because the narcissist didn't like that something good happened to me, this person had to do something to make me doubt and ruin my joy.

If you have ever known a narcissist you will understand what I am about to say. They almost never laugh or smile with anyone else. They laugh when a joke is played on someone else or their target falls off their bike or runs into a tree. They seem to get great joy out of seeing someone else harm themselves or fail.

If the narcissist can't find anything real to demean their target they will make up something based on some small things that was not insignificant or not even a problem at all. They will make a problem out of nothing if that's all they have to discredit their target.

Narcissists are the most petty people in the world, everything is foolish or wrong about their target, and even a good deed does not go unpunished with the narcissist.

Sadly this world is growing in narcissism as we approach the end of the church age. The reason I write about this so often is to help the victims of narcissists learn to ignore them, avoid them, and deal with them Biblically when they must be in their presence.

The Bible gives us good guidance in dealing with these unregenerate people who have no capacity for love, all the fruit of the Spirit is missing and the devil is in control of their minds.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult (ragingly insane) times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Did we notice verse 5? "Avoid such people as these."

Proverbs 29:8-10 "…8 Mockers inflame a city, but the wise turn away anger. 9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life."

Proverbs 17:12

"It is better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool in his folly."

Proverbs 26:4

"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him."

Ecclesiastes 10:13

"The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness."

Matthew 7:6

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

We must be gospel minded when dealing with people. Our first priority is to share the gospel with anyone who will listen. When we discover we are dealing with a narcissistic fool we are to stop speaking with them and move on.

The more you engage with a narcissist the more he will twist what you say, attack your character while mocking and demeaning. If we engage with them in these foolish arguments we are becoming just like them.

Proverbs 26:4

"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him."

Do not fall into the trap of the enablers by thinking unbiblically that we must remain friends with everyone no matter how evil or destructive they are to us and others.

Proverbs 26:20-21 "…20 Without wood, a fire goes out; without gossip, a conflict ceases. 21Like charcoal for embers and wood for fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife."

Proverbs 29:22

"An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression."

As born-again believers we are called to be peaceful no matter what the fools are doing right in front of us. We are not to engage with them through childish banter in an attempt to win over them. If we do this Satan is the one who wins and we lose a piece of ourselves, whatever spiritual growth we had has been diminished.

Narcissists are controlled by the devil, they love conflict and hatred, there is no way to reason with those who are controlled by the devil.

Christ in us can give us when to speak and when to be silent. The response of the hearer is not our business, we must do what Christ tells us to do and leave all the results up to Him.

Matthew 10:19-20

"But when they hand you over, do not worry about how or what you are to say; for it will be given you in that hour what you are to say. For it is not you who speak, but it is the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you."

Looking Up!!!!

Remember when we speak the Words of Christ and others accuse us of speaking our own opinion.,it is the world's way of dismissing God by accusing us.

Many church attendees want to rewrite the Bible to fit their own agendas. They will discredit God's Words through manipulation of them, removing them from their context and claiming things that God never said.

When "religion" is the goal then error will be deeply present regularly. Religion is following man-made rules to help God get it right. In other words, man will devise their own words to replace God's, a blasphemous way of showing God He got it wrong so that they can have their own way and feel no guilt about it.

Anyone who expects truth to be based on the Words of Jesus Christ will be accused of many things from legalism to hatred.

Our culture calls obedience to God "legalism" and self-willed rules they make up as obedience to their ways. In other words, they get it backward making themselves the authority over God.

Legalism is obeying man's rules that God never made. Obedience to God is searching His word to know His will and heart. This is not legalism.

Satan always lies against God making obedience to Him sound like foolishness.

The devil knows that many people when pressured by their culture will give in to be accepted by the rest who have chosen to disobey God in favor of their desired "religious practices ordained by man."

John 12:42-44 "42 Nevertheless, many of the leaders believed in Him; but because of the Pharisees, they did not confess Him, for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue. 43 For they loved praise from men more than praise from God. 44 Then Jesus cried out, “Whoever believes in Me does not believe in Me alone, but in the One who sent Me."

James 4:16-17 "…16 As it is, you boast in your proud intentions. All such boasting is evil. 17 Anyone, then, who knows the right thing to do, yet fails to do it, is guilty of sin."

The truth is that if God never said it I am free to leave it alone. If God said it He expects us to do what He said.

Many people reject the truth of the Bible in church gatherings because they fear being rejected. They are right, we are rejected when we speak the truth from the Scriptures. Personally, I would rather be rejected by all men and obedient to Christ than disobedient to Him and loved by all people.

There is a cost for speaking the truth from the heart of the Holy Spirit. In our day that cost is losing all family and friends in the communities in which we live.

Many false teachings permeate the modern apostate church, the love of many has grown cold as God said would happen. They reject sound doctrine to be able to live as they please without guilt. These are those who say they are Christians but were never born-again. They loved the world and the perceived safety of the churches but have no love for God.

Matthew 15:7-9 "7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8 These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ "

Cultural Christianity is the norm now and the authentic born-again believers are a small remnant. In these last days, we can expect to be alone a lot, alone in our beliefs, rejected by those who groupthink and excluded from the love of others. We need not feel bad when we are unloved and rejected by men, so was Jesus Christ and so were the apostles.

Luke 10:16-17 "16 Whoever listens to you listens to Me; whoever rejects you rejects Me; and whoever rejects Me rejects the One who sent Me.” 17 The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in Your name.”"

Good news: Christ is coming for His church very soon, if we continually look up as God commanded we will not be sad or discouraged but full of joy!

Luke 21:28

"28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh."

Keep Looking Up!!!!

Isaiah 29:13

"Therefore the Lord said: "These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. Their worship of Me is but rules taught by men."

Ezekiel 33:31

"And they come unto thee as the people cometh, and they sit before thee as my people, and they hear thy words, but they will not do them: for with their mouth they shew much love, but their heart goeth after their covetousness."