http://www.radiofreechurch.com/speaker_display/1?topic=42
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Choosing A Marriage Partner
I had the privilege of visiting with a young man from India this week. He said that he had been married four years this next May. I asked him which day in May and he told me the date. His anniversary date is the day before ours in the same month. That was interesting, but the most interesting part of the conversation was how he found his wife, or should I say, had his wife presented to him.
He said to me that his father chose his wife for him, using the Word of God as his criteria for his choice. The young woman was chosen on the basis of her relationship with Christ. She was required to be a believer and walking with the Lord to be considered for marriage with the father’s son.
So often we as Americans think that something is terribly wrong when a parent “interferes” with the choice a child has made in a mate. Not only are we expected not to interfere, but we are chided and ridiculed if we make suggestions to our children as to the character of the person being considered.
American children choose their own spouses on the basis of “emotional love” not character, or for beauty or money, anything but character. To evaluate ones character is called “judging” an intolerable word these days to most.
Because our culture is brain washed into the mindset of “not judging” we have frightened ourselves into never correcting the youthful thinking that so dominates our society. We allow the youth to think silly things, so as not to harm their confidence or self esteem. They do not learn simple social graces and kindnesses because they are taught that whatever they do is alright as long as they like it.
This thinking has led to parents neglecting to evaluate a potential partner and if a problem is encountered we are expected to withhold our comments. If we do obey God and attempt to instruct we are chastised for it.
Has this worked for us?
I think not!
Fifty years ago it was the wicked fringe element that lived together in sin without the benefit of marriage. No one we knew was doing such a thing. There were those who were living in sin, but not many and never in the church.
Now we have most young people living together before they are married if they ever get married. We have babies being born out of wedlock more often than in marriage and millions of babies have been killed by abortion.
The divorce rate is off the charts, while the children are being brought up in single parent homes.
This is what all this tolerance has done for us. It has caused children to be abandoned, abused and aborted at an alarming rate.
Child abuse has escalated out of control; most of the perpetrators are the non-biological parents or live in lovers.
The young people of today have no concept of commitment to anything or anybody. Their idea of happiness is to eliminate anyone who causes them to have to sacrifice for them. Just “delete” them when we don’t like what they ask of us.
We need to ask ourselves what we have gained by all this selfishness and immorality. In our country the parents have stayed out of the way in the choice of the spouses of their children, did this bring greater stability for marriages and children? The answer is no, our families are a mess and getting worse all the time.
What we have in our culture now is proof that the young people were not mature or capable enough to choose their own spouse without the benefit of counsel.
What we have now if proof that without parental involvement in the choice of a spouse, young people lack the wisdom of life long experience in discerning the character of a person.
Not only have we abandoned the old world ways of preparing for marriage with the help of our parents, we do not consult God for His guidance on choosing a mate for life.
We have a mess but we don’t’ evaluate what we created or change anything. It reminds me of the saying. “The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.” Albert Einstein.
Did living together first, as the seventies crowd proclaimed, make a better marriage or successful relationship? The divorce rate among those who live together first is higher than those who do not. This is because when we live together first we are displaying a non-committal attitude; it is that attitude that destroys marriage and all relationships. The “bail out when it gets rough” mentality is no way to start any relationship.
The Biblical standard for marriage never leaves out the parental involvement of the children contemplating marriage. We have left the Biblical standard in the dust and are experiencing the consequences today for that foolishness.
The only hope for our country is for our culture to repent of abandoning God’s principles and begin to hold up the standard once again. This is a hard road because we parents will have to stand firm and even be rejected for our dedication to the Word of God. It is God’s approval we seek, if we love Him.
He said to me that his father chose his wife for him, using the Word of God as his criteria for his choice. The young woman was chosen on the basis of her relationship with Christ. She was required to be a believer and walking with the Lord to be considered for marriage with the father’s son.
So often we as Americans think that something is terribly wrong when a parent “interferes” with the choice a child has made in a mate. Not only are we expected not to interfere, but we are chided and ridiculed if we make suggestions to our children as to the character of the person being considered.
American children choose their own spouses on the basis of “emotional love” not character, or for beauty or money, anything but character. To evaluate ones character is called “judging” an intolerable word these days to most.
Because our culture is brain washed into the mindset of “not judging” we have frightened ourselves into never correcting the youthful thinking that so dominates our society. We allow the youth to think silly things, so as not to harm their confidence or self esteem. They do not learn simple social graces and kindnesses because they are taught that whatever they do is alright as long as they like it.
This thinking has led to parents neglecting to evaluate a potential partner and if a problem is encountered we are expected to withhold our comments. If we do obey God and attempt to instruct we are chastised for it.
Has this worked for us?
I think not!
Fifty years ago it was the wicked fringe element that lived together in sin without the benefit of marriage. No one we knew was doing such a thing. There were those who were living in sin, but not many and never in the church.
Now we have most young people living together before they are married if they ever get married. We have babies being born out of wedlock more often than in marriage and millions of babies have been killed by abortion.
The divorce rate is off the charts, while the children are being brought up in single parent homes.
This is what all this tolerance has done for us. It has caused children to be abandoned, abused and aborted at an alarming rate.
Child abuse has escalated out of control; most of the perpetrators are the non-biological parents or live in lovers.
The young people of today have no concept of commitment to anything or anybody. Their idea of happiness is to eliminate anyone who causes them to have to sacrifice for them. Just “delete” them when we don’t like what they ask of us.
We need to ask ourselves what we have gained by all this selfishness and immorality. In our country the parents have stayed out of the way in the choice of the spouses of their children, did this bring greater stability for marriages and children? The answer is no, our families are a mess and getting worse all the time.
What we have in our culture now is proof that the young people were not mature or capable enough to choose their own spouse without the benefit of counsel.
What we have now if proof that without parental involvement in the choice of a spouse, young people lack the wisdom of life long experience in discerning the character of a person.
Not only have we abandoned the old world ways of preparing for marriage with the help of our parents, we do not consult God for His guidance on choosing a mate for life.
We have a mess but we don’t’ evaluate what we created or change anything. It reminds me of the saying. “The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result.” Albert Einstein.
Did living together first, as the seventies crowd proclaimed, make a better marriage or successful relationship? The divorce rate among those who live together first is higher than those who do not. This is because when we live together first we are displaying a non-committal attitude; it is that attitude that destroys marriage and all relationships. The “bail out when it gets rough” mentality is no way to start any relationship.
The Biblical standard for marriage never leaves out the parental involvement of the children contemplating marriage. We have left the Biblical standard in the dust and are experiencing the consequences today for that foolishness.
The only hope for our country is for our culture to repent of abandoning God’s principles and begin to hold up the standard once again. This is a hard road because we parents will have to stand firm and even be rejected for our dedication to the Word of God. It is God’s approval we seek, if we love Him.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
When Righteousness Is Mocked Everyone Suffers
"Do not be conformed to this world.... Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." Romans 12:2, 9
"You love evil more than good...." Psalm 52:3
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness....
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
And prudent in their own sight!" Isaiah 5:20-21
"...you have polluted the land with your harlotries and your wickedness.
Therefore the showers have been withheld, and there has been no latter rain.
You have had a harlot’s forehead; You refuse to be ashamed." Isaiah 3:2-3
"How long, O you sons of men, will you turn my glory to shame?
How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood?" Psalm 4:2-3
"All those who hate me love death.” Proverb 8:36
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. " 2 Timothy 2:22-23
"He who walks righteously and speaks uprightly,
He who despises the gain of oppressions,
Who gestures with his hands, refusing bribes,
Who stops his ears from hearing of bloodshed,
And shuts his eyes from seeing evil:
He will dwell on high;
His place of defense will be the fortress of rocks...." Isaiah 33:15
"The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness." 2 Thessalonians 2:9-12
“Hear now, O heads of Jacob, and you rulers of the house of Israel:
Is it not for you to know justice? You who hate good and love evil..." Micah 3:1-2
“An astonishing and horrible thing has been committed in the land:
The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule by their own power;
And My people love to have it so. But what will you do in the end?" Jeremiah 5:30-31
“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Matthew 6:24
“But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you." John 5:42
"You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?" Galatians 5:6-7
"... who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed." 1 Peter 3:13-16
“How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge....
I have called and you refused,
I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded,
Because you disdained all my counsel, and would have none of my rebuke,
I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes,
When your terror comes like a storm, and your destruction comes like a whirlwind,
When distress and anguish come upon you.
Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;
They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.
Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord,
They would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke.
Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way,
And be filled to the full with their own fancies." Proverb 1:8-31
"A scoffer does not love one who corrects him..." Proverb 15:12
“They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, ‘Rabbi, Rabbi.’" Matthew 23:6-7
“Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come." Matthew 24:11-14
"But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." 1 Timothy 6:9-10
"Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." James 1:12-15
“He who would love life and see good days,
Let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.
Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:10-17
"Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you." 1 John 3:10
“...you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent." Revelation 2:3-6
"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:19-20
"Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things..." 2 Timothy 4:2-5
“...the Lord testified against Israel and against Judah, by all of His prophets... saying, 'Turn from your evil ways, and keep My commandments and My statutes....
"Nevertheless they would not hear, but stiffened their necks.... And they rejected His statutes and His covenant that He had made with their fathers, and His testimonies which He had testified against them; they followed idols, became idolaters, and went after the nations who were all around them, concerning whom the Lord had charged them that they should not do like them. So they left all the commandments of the Lord their God... and worshiped all the host of heaven, and served Baal. And they caused their sons and daughters to pass through the fire, practiced witchcraft and soothsaying, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the Lord, to provoke Him to anger. Therefore the Lord was very angry with Israel, and removed them from His sight; there was none left but the tribe of Judah alone.
“Also Judah did not keep the commandments of the Lord their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel which they made. And the Lord rejected all the descendants of Israel, afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of plunderers, until He had cast them from His sight." 2 Kings 17:13-20
“Then the king of Assyria brought people from Babylon, Cuthah, Ava, Hamath, and from Sepharvaim, and placed them in the cities of Samaria instead of the children of Israel; and they took possession of Samaria and dwelt in its cities. ...they did not fear the Lord; therefore the Lord sent lions among them, which killed some of them." 2 Kings 17:24-25
"...every nation continued to make gods of its own.... They feared the Lord, yet served their own gods—according to the rituals of the nations from among whom they were carried away." 2 Kings 17:29, 33
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
"You love evil more than good...." Psalm 52:3
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness....
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
And prudent in their own sight!" Isaiah 5:20-21
"...you have polluted the land with your harlotries and your wickedness.
Therefore the showers have been withheld, and there has been no latter rain.
You have had a harlot’s forehead; You refuse to be ashamed." Isaiah 3:2-3
"How long, O you sons of men, will you turn my glory to shame?
How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood?" Psalm 4:2-3
"All those who hate me love death.” Proverb 8:36
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. " 2 Timothy 2:22-23
"He who walks righteously and speaks uprightly,
He who despises the gain of oppressions,
Who gestures with his hands, refusing bribes,
Who stops his ears from hearing of bloodshed,
And shuts his eyes from seeing evil:
He will dwell on high;
His place of defense will be the fortress of rocks...." Isaiah 33:15
"The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness." 2 Thessalonians 2:9-12
“Hear now, O heads of Jacob, and you rulers of the house of Israel:
Is it not for you to know justice? You who hate good and love evil..." Micah 3:1-2
“An astonishing and horrible thing has been committed in the land:
The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule by their own power;
And My people love to have it so. But what will you do in the end?" Jeremiah 5:30-31
“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Matthew 6:24
“But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you." John 5:42
"You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?" Galatians 5:6-7
"... who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed." 1 Peter 3:13-16
“How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity?
For scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge....
I have called and you refused,
I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded,
Because you disdained all my counsel, and would have none of my rebuke,
I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes,
When your terror comes like a storm, and your destruction comes like a whirlwind,
When distress and anguish come upon you.
Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;
They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.
Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord,
They would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke.
Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way,
And be filled to the full with their own fancies." Proverb 1:8-31
"A scoffer does not love one who corrects him..." Proverb 15:12
“They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, ‘Rabbi, Rabbi.’" Matthew 23:6-7
“Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come." Matthew 24:11-14
"But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." 1 Timothy 6:9-10
"Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." James 1:12-15
“He who would love life and see good days,
Let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.
Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:10-17
"Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you." 1 John 3:10
“...you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent." Revelation 2:3-6
"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:19-20
"Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things..." 2 Timothy 4:2-5
“...the Lord testified against Israel and against Judah, by all of His prophets... saying, 'Turn from your evil ways, and keep My commandments and My statutes....
"Nevertheless they would not hear, but stiffened their necks.... And they rejected His statutes and His covenant that He had made with their fathers, and His testimonies which He had testified against them; they followed idols, became idolaters, and went after the nations who were all around them, concerning whom the Lord had charged them that they should not do like them. So they left all the commandments of the Lord their God... and worshiped all the host of heaven, and served Baal. And they caused their sons and daughters to pass through the fire, practiced witchcraft and soothsaying, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the Lord, to provoke Him to anger. Therefore the Lord was very angry with Israel, and removed them from His sight; there was none left but the tribe of Judah alone.
“Also Judah did not keep the commandments of the Lord their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel which they made. And the Lord rejected all the descendants of Israel, afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of plunderers, until He had cast them from His sight." 2 Kings 17:13-20
“Then the king of Assyria brought people from Babylon, Cuthah, Ava, Hamath, and from Sepharvaim, and placed them in the cities of Samaria instead of the children of Israel; and they took possession of Samaria and dwelt in its cities. ...they did not fear the Lord; therefore the Lord sent lions among them, which killed some of them." 2 Kings 17:24-25
"...every nation continued to make gods of its own.... They feared the Lord, yet served their own gods—according to the rituals of the nations from among whom they were carried away." 2 Kings 17:29, 33
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17
Monday, February 14, 2011
Repentance and Forgiveness God's Way
Recently a thought has been nagging at me. I have been taught in our American Christian culture that forgiveness was to be extended even if the sinner was not sorry or repentant in any way. This tormented me because I was not seeing this principle in Scripture. I prayed and prayed as I sought an answer to this problem. Then I searched the Scriptures and the internet for verses and articles or books that would address another viewpoint than those that we have all been raised with for the last fifty years. The Lord had been telling me that what I was encountering in our culture was not forgiveness at all but human tradition.
Why was I so frustrated at the easy flippant form of forgiveness that I was experiencing all around me? I guess the reason was because I was not seeing it lead to greater holiness in the sinner or the forgiver. The one who carried out the sin felt nothing, they did not stop their sinning and there was no reconciliation for the tattered relationship. There wasn't any recompense for destroyed things or for attitudes. In other words, the idea of forgiveness was expressed in words, thrown into the air landing on nothing. They were empty words accomplishing little if even the base effect of relationship restoration. The offender was completely unaware of their own attitudes and the victim was left attempting to pretend friendliness to someone who was not sorry for their offense and would likely repeat the same offense again.
It has become considered rude in our culture to correct or rebuke someone no matter how wicked the actions may be. In the original languages of the Bible "rebuke" is a very strong word. Its effect can be one of restoration of a relationship, although this is rare in our culture, but it can cause greater holiness in both the victim and the offender. When there is repentance and then forgiveness extended, there is more likely a restored and intimate relationship with the parties involved. When we do not follow the scriptural mandates to go to those who have offended us and for those who have offended to repent, then we short-circuit the process of growth and the restoration of the relationship.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer understood the principles of God's way of restoring a relationship, not only our relationship to God but also to our fellow man. Mr. Bonhoeffer said:
"Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin."
When our Lord said on the cross, "Father forgive them." He was not asking for forgiveness for those who were not repentant, but desiring to extend forgiveness to anyone who would repent. We try to do away with the step of repentance in our culture, and because of this the neither the offended nor the offender grow and become stronger. When the offended must approach a sinner with their offense, they become stronger in the Lord, more concerned about the well being of the offender than about their own feelings. When the offender repents, they become more concerned also about the needs and desires of the person they have harmed than about their own desires. There is a growing process involved in the whole matter of relationship restoration.
We are a fast food culture; we want the problem to be solved quickly instead of waiting on the Lord to change a heart. We do not like to do difficult things that make us uncomfortable. Have we noticed that fast food has made us fat and lazy; it is no different with relationships. We are obsessed with our own comfort rather than deeply concerned about the spiritual well being of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
We no longer challenge anyone to greater holiness or a better job well done, as long as they and we feel good. What a terrible disservice we have perpetrated on our fellow man, to place their happiness and pleasure above their ultimate relationship with a Holy God and with their neighbor.
Proverbs 27:14 says, “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, It will be counted a curse to him.”
Have we forgotten Scriptures that say, "My brethren count it all joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience? But let patience have its perfect work, that you may perfect and complete lacking nothing." James 1:1-4
Proverbs 27:6 says “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
God says that “He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
When we find someone who is defensive about their sin, and runs and hides from those who would care deeply enough to expose it, then we have our clue about the guilt that plagues that person and the pride that dominates their very being.
God warns us that, “One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayers shall be an abomination.” Proverbs 28:9
Let us look to the Word of God for our advice and practice, rather than our culture. Next time we are challenged to do something in a certain traditional way, let’s ask, why do we do it that way and where does that idea come from. Then go to God’s Word and search the matter out to find out what God thinks about it.
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Why was I so frustrated at the easy flippant form of forgiveness that I was experiencing all around me? I guess the reason was because I was not seeing it lead to greater holiness in the sinner or the forgiver. The one who carried out the sin felt nothing, they did not stop their sinning and there was no reconciliation for the tattered relationship. There wasn't any recompense for destroyed things or for attitudes. In other words, the idea of forgiveness was expressed in words, thrown into the air landing on nothing. They were empty words accomplishing little if even the base effect of relationship restoration. The offender was completely unaware of their own attitudes and the victim was left attempting to pretend friendliness to someone who was not sorry for their offense and would likely repeat the same offense again.
It has become considered rude in our culture to correct or rebuke someone no matter how wicked the actions may be. In the original languages of the Bible "rebuke" is a very strong word. Its effect can be one of restoration of a relationship, although this is rare in our culture, but it can cause greater holiness in both the victim and the offender. When there is repentance and then forgiveness extended, there is more likely a restored and intimate relationship with the parties involved. When we do not follow the scriptural mandates to go to those who have offended us and for those who have offended to repent, then we short-circuit the process of growth and the restoration of the relationship.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer understood the principles of God's way of restoring a relationship, not only our relationship to God but also to our fellow man. Mr. Bonhoeffer said:
"Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin."
When our Lord said on the cross, "Father forgive them." He was not asking for forgiveness for those who were not repentant, but desiring to extend forgiveness to anyone who would repent. We try to do away with the step of repentance in our culture, and because of this the neither the offended nor the offender grow and become stronger. When the offended must approach a sinner with their offense, they become stronger in the Lord, more concerned about the well being of the offender than about their own feelings. When the offender repents, they become more concerned also about the needs and desires of the person they have harmed than about their own desires. There is a growing process involved in the whole matter of relationship restoration.
We are a fast food culture; we want the problem to be solved quickly instead of waiting on the Lord to change a heart. We do not like to do difficult things that make us uncomfortable. Have we noticed that fast food has made us fat and lazy; it is no different with relationships. We are obsessed with our own comfort rather than deeply concerned about the spiritual well being of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
We no longer challenge anyone to greater holiness or a better job well done, as long as they and we feel good. What a terrible disservice we have perpetrated on our fellow man, to place their happiness and pleasure above their ultimate relationship with a Holy God and with their neighbor.
Proverbs 27:14 says, “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, It will be counted a curse to him.”
Have we forgotten Scriptures that say, "My brethren count it all joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience? But let patience have its perfect work, that you may perfect and complete lacking nothing." James 1:1-4
Proverbs 27:6 says “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
God says that “He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
When we find someone who is defensive about their sin, and runs and hides from those who would care deeply enough to expose it, then we have our clue about the guilt that plagues that person and the pride that dominates their very being.
God warns us that, “One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayers shall be an abomination.” Proverbs 28:9
Let us look to the Word of God for our advice and practice, rather than our culture. Next time we are challenged to do something in a certain traditional way, let’s ask, why do we do it that way and where does that idea come from. Then go to God’s Word and search the matter out to find out what God thinks about it.
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