We need to be careful to say someone is not born again because they have sinned, the duration of the sin doesn't matter very much, it is what is going on in the heart.
I became saved at 12 but didn't live for the Lord until my early twenties. I was convicted for every sin I did...ashamed. Finally one day I had had enough of the miserable feeling of it and confessed my sin, never to return to those same sins.
I believe I was saved, but immature, had no encouragement from family to read the Bible, even though I did from church in Sunday School once a week.
When I confessed and asked the Lord to work in my life, questioning myself to see if I was born again, I checked with God. He cleansed me of those sins, after which I became radical about my walk with Him. I believe I was saved while sinning because I always had a desire to please Him, but was weak.
1 John 2:1 "My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:."
If we are sinning and born again God will take us to the woodshed, a good spanking of conviction, illness, loss of things and people, will get our attention, so that we will want to stop that which doesn't please Him.
Hebrews 12:6 "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth."
Those I question whether or not they are born again are the ones who have no shame, fight to justify doing their sin and refuse to pray about it. In short, they like their sin and hate those who expose it.
2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves, whether you are in the faith; prove your own selves. Know you not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, unless you are counterfeits?"
A born again believer is ashamed when confronted, tormented until they repent and talk about it after they have repented.
Those who will not discuss their sinful nature before they were saved, are very likely not born again. One of the first things we do after we become born again is develop an openness about our sin, to show what God has done for us. All pride and pretense leaves and is replaced by brokenness, humility and great joy, if that makes any sense, then you know what I am talking about.
John 4:28-29 "28 So the woman left her waterpot, and went into the city and *said to the men, 29 “Come, see a man who told me all the things that I have done; this is not [f]the Christ, is it?” 30 They went out of the city, and were coming to Him"
Pride about ourselves has no place in the believers life. When we have realized our sinfulness we have no reason to boast about who we are. We begin boasting about Christ.
Galatians 6:14 "But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
I am always saddened and even angered when someone professing to be believers, lie about their sin, making it sound like they had a good reason or it was someone else's fault.
When we meet someone, who refuses to discuss a matter of importance, we know we are dealing with, either a stubborn convicted person or an unsaved person who thinks they are saved. No one will be able to confess if they refuse to admit that they have sin in the first place.
There isn't too much we can do about a stubborn person, telling them the truth and walking away is the best course of action, while praying continually that the Lord would open their eyes and strip away their self righteousness.
James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."
The good news is that if we confess to one another, we will be cleansed of the sin and the guilt that comes with it. We grow closer to a brother or sister in the Lord while growing spiritually to be more useful for the kingdom of God.
There is no benefit to holding onto anger and bitterness justifying our sin, it only brings heartache and broken relationships, most of all it brings God's discipline, which truly can be worse than any embarrassment we might feel when we have to be honest and open with our brothers and sisters.
The peace, joy and restoration we have from confessing and forsaking sin is far greater than the hidden bitterness we cling so tightly to, to elevate ourselves in the eyes of men.
What men think of us is of little consequence compared to our relationship with God. We can fool men for awhile, but God sees all the time everything. If we really believe in Christ, we would be more concerned about what God sees than what man thinks.
