God clearly says to forgive someone who is repentant, who realizes they harmed you, and wants to mend the broken relationship.
Luke 17:3-5 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”…"
We are not required to forgive someone who doesn't think they did anything wrong. However, we are to treat them with the respect they didn't give us. We are to show the love they didn't show us but this is not forgiveness.
Forgiveness reconciles a relationship when there is a confession of wrongdoing and forgiveness extended all done in humility with joy that the relationship will move forward to be different than it was before. We need both sides of the same coin for a relationship to be reconciled. We need both confession of sin and forgiveness extended.
Matthew 5:44 "
"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"
When someone continues in the sin of pride without remorse for how they treated us and even justifying how they treat us regularly, then we are commanded to distance ourselves from them.
One thing I have experienced in the cultural family setting is certain rude ways of communicating are common and expected. When someone in the family system does not like this form of communication the rest of the group treats the outlier with contempt, a sort of group mobbing.
When the outlier does not respond in kind and even refuses to communicate with angst and rudeness they are treated as if they are doing something wrong. The one who dislikes all that angst and lack of decency and manners will be gossiped about, lied about, and excluded from the family system.
We need not be surprised by this since God told us it would happen.
Matthew 10:21-22 "…21Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. "
We can expect the world to hate us and even more, so the family members who cannot force us to act like them. Control is everything to the cultic family system. They hate anyone they think shines brighter than they. Rather than changing their behavior and attitude, they attempt to bring the outlier down to their level.
The more we resist or avoid them the harder they will try to bring us down. If they cannot do it on their own then they will enlist others through gossip to come against us.
We are in a Spiritual boot camp where we will be trained through difficulties to trust in the Lord more than we trust in anyone or anything else. It is the hardship that breaks our will to follow our own hearts and builds our resolve to follow Christ.
Just as in military boot camp, the sergeants break the will of the soldier so that he will learn to follow orders and endure hardship to become strong warriors who can fight through the most difficult circumstances without breaking.
Our walk with Christ is like this military boot camp, the purpose is to become so strong Spiritually and emotionally that we cannot be moved to become like the world no matter what comes against us.
Joshua 1:9
"9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Hallelujah!!!!!