It is in confessing the sins and mistakes that motivates the Holy Spirit in us to change our hearts so we do not want to make those same mistakes or do those same sins again.
When we have confessed and been changed by God we never want to repeat anything that He has cleansed us from, nor do we ever want to offend God in the same ways again.
If we are not sorry, do not confess and are not cleansed we will grow worse and the Holy Spirit will stop talking to us.
1 Thessalonians 5:18-20 "…18 Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not extinguish the Spirit."
I am convinced everything we learn here on earth will serve us in the Millennium, if this is true then we ought to be concerned about learning the lessons God has for us rather than fighting out of pride against His principles.
Pride will keep the born-again believer from growing in holiness. This is why God said not to pull up the tares in the church because we might be pulling up wheat. This indicates to me that the wheat will be weak in the last days, falling into deception and worldly in their thinking.
One of the reasons we experience so many immature believers is that one cannot grow mature when one will not confess wrongs. Those who are too prideful to confess their wrongs will not grow, in fact, if they pridefully avoid admitting their flaws long enough they will begin to regress. Regression continues until there is an acknowledgment of wrong. If the regression is long enough as the person grows more stubborn, it is an indication that the person who will not confess was never born again. Their self-righteousness was an act to fit into Christian circles but was not as a result of a born-again experience, it was all in the flesh.
Confessing our sin to God to be changed by Him restores our fellowship with Him. Confessing one to another our sin against one another restores our relationship with our brothers and sisters. Discussion, empathy, confession, and forgiveness will make a broken relationship stronger than it was before the trouble.
Attempting to act better without confession and without discussion will leave a distrust in the one who has been offended. These tactics of pretending everything is alright without ever admitting or attempting to discuss a matter fixes nothing. The relationship may seem a little better but the distrust remains. When someone has not acted as though they did anything wrong we can be sure they will at some point in the future do the same things again, as well as not caring enough about us to make things right.
Some people don't like the bad feelings they have with someone but are not sorry they created them. These people want the bad feelings to go away but are not necessarily interested in the well-being of the one they offended or in having a deeper quality relationship. They are satisfied with superficial without commitment to anyone. Pride is what drives people to avoid confession to restore a relationship.
Many people act this way with God, they want a relationship with Him, but they want it on their terms. They love the perks God has for them but they are not interested in a relationship with Him. In effect they are using God for their own purposes, this is also the mentality of those who want to superficially restore a relationship but are not willing to do the hard work of restoring God's Way.
God gave us the formula in His Word for the restoration of relationships and the formula does not include; "just letting it go and acting better."
Matthew 18:15-18 "15 “Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that on the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be confirmed.
17 And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
18 Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.'"
James 5:15-16 "…15 And the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick. The Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
If we do not want to do things God's way by using phrases like; "this is the way we do it", then you are saying your way is better than God's way. Those who live superficial lives will get by in life but they will have no depth of relationship with God or anyone else. They may not even be born again, because we know that the Holy Spirit convicts the believer of their sin until they confess it.
Many "Christians" want to stay in control of their own lives doing things their own way. They want their puppet god to give them what they want but they do not want Him.
Matthew 15:7-9 "…7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8‘ These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ ”"
John 14:14-16 "14 If you ask Me for anything in My name, I will do it. 15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever—…'
God is saying here that if we ask God in the will of the Father invoking the name of Jesus Christ, it is Jesus Christ Who prays on our behalf. We are not praying our own will, but His will. God will give us the desires of our hearts that line up with the will of the Holy Spirit.
John 14:21
"Whoever has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me. The one who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and reveal Myself to him."
John 14:23
"Jesus replied, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word. My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him."
So the answer in a nutshell; Seek the word of God for His instructions as to confession, forgiveness, and restoration.
1 John 5:3
"For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome,"
2 John 1:6
"And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the very commandment you have heard from the beginning, that you must walk in love and restoration. How He requires us to deal with one another is exactly what He expects of us in a relationship with Him."
