A true apology involves "remorse, responsibility and repair of the relationship" was a good statement I heard on a video today. This is Biblical and should happen whenever there is a problem in a relationship.
One person must be willing to admit they did something offensive or harmful while the other is being patient and kind in resolving it with the offender.
False apologies do not produce any lasting restoration, they are only delivered as words without substance. Our culture today is based on non-apology apologies. Since many people invest in merely appearing good without being good, they think words alone will mend things.
Those who cannot openly and verbally apologize for offenses are living in the sin of pride.
When non-apology apologies occur enough times we can no longer trust the person delivering them.
May we be those who seek real solutions to problems not merely words to make ourselves feel better but actions that help those who have a grievance.
Sadly one of the things I have noticed with narcissists is that they do not want to even apologize with words they become angry at any challenge they may have been offensive and use mocking and intimidation to control the feelings of the one who dared to speak the truth. The more vulnerable narcissist will play the victim and even cry.
As born-again believers, we want to make sure we are not the problem in a relationship. If someone else has been offensive we want to show graciousness in approaching the one who has offended, not by ignoring it but by speaking words of kindness as we share the nuances of the problem.
If we are the offender then we need to apologize quickly without reservation or sheepishness, but with kindness and boldness.
God's love motivates us to find solutions while communicating openly, and honestly with understanding toward others.
Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
When we have the Holy Spirit we don't have to "work up" kindness, it is what should come naturally to those who love Jesus Christ.
John 13:34-35 " 34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples if you love one another."
Love doesn't care about winning, it only cares about resolving problems.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
