When we begin to realize the gossip is so intense and frequent that it is impossible to extinguish, it is time to give up trying to understand the gossiper or explain our side, then is the time to walk away from all those who speak the gossip and all those who listen to them.
When someone is so covert and clever in secretly speaking to others and the others are not interested in the other side of the story, we can not fix it. It is a form of indoctrination and brainwashing. It is a sort of "Stockholm syndrome" in which the captive is treated special so that the one who is isolated from others begins to believe their captor. It is akin to the story of the "Emperor's New Clothes" in which the emperor proclaimed that he would be in the parade with his new clothes on to display before the crowd. The crowd becomes excited as he walks by that his new clothes are so beautiful.
One little girl in the crowd tells the truth and proclaims, "he doesn't have any clothes on, he is naked." No one believes her because they are believing what they want to believe and making up in their mind an image that does not exist. This is what comes from elevating people above God. If the culture likes someone no one will tell the truth about them. In fact, there is rage when the truth is exposed.
We are living in a culture just like this now. People are repeating mantras that have no basis in truth but they cannot be convinced when someone comes along and declares, "but that's not true, here is the proof." The crowd will shut down the truth before anyone has a chance to hear it.
The crowd goes with the crowd, they will not listen to the one lone person who tells the truth.
We are living in a time when the culture is so filled with an overabundance of fiction and fantasy that when the truth comes along the crowd will not accept it. Instead, they will choose what they wish to believe and fight bitterly against the truth.
These lies have become so constant that those who love their fantasy will rage at the truth-teller. They will evaluate everything the truth-teller does or says in terms of how they want to think and not the way the truth-teller explains and has witnessed for themselves.
It is amazing how many people are so willing to believe the lies of the gossip without any evidence of their own to prove what is being said. As long as their friends are saying it they have no need to check it out with the other side to see if it is true.
And, even if the truth-teller says something happy and jovial, it will be interpreted as mean without any further discussion.
You can usually discern when there has been gossip, there is a way the crowd acts around you that they do not act around others they like. Those who gossip take on favorites based on their own jealousy and prejudice while disregarding and demeaning the targets of their gossip.
Proverbs 11:13
"13 One who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets,
But one who is [a]trustworthy conceals a matter."
Gossips don't merely speak what they saw, they always embellish what others told them that they didn't see for themselves.
Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Gossip is designed always to destroy the person who is being gossiped about, never to uplift, uphold and help them.
Proverbs 11:9
"With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors,
but through knowledge the righteous escape."
Matthew 5:11
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."
We can be thankful when we are not accepted by the culture. The culture deeply influences those who are captive to it. Those who must be accepted by the culture will never be free.
We must avoid gossipers they will destroy people without good evidence and sometimes even worse with "half-truths" which are "whole lies" disguised as the truth.
Proverbs 15:4
"The soothing tongue is a tree of life,
but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit."
Those who have seen things for themselves and base their actions on what they have seen always want "the rest of the story" and never treat people disrespectfully just because of what they thought they saw or what others told them Good and honest people go to the source and ask for the truth unless there is no need to know.
Wicked people look for things to be angry about in those they are jealous of or who walk in righteousness. They did it to Christ and all the apostles.
When we become aware that someone does not want to hear the truth, then we are free to walk away and avoid that person until Christ works in their life.
We are free to walk in Christ all of our days no matter how many people reject us. And, we will be rejected by most because evil hates truth.
Matthew 10:21-22 "…21Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. "
Proverbs 29:27
"An unjust man is detestable to the righteous, and one whose way is upright is detestable to the wicked."
Isaiah 66:5
"You who tremble at His word, hear the word of the LORD: "Your brothers who hate you and exclude you because of My name have said, 'Let the LORD be glorified that we may see your joy!' But they will be put to shame."
Freedom in Christ is far more desirable than the love of worldly people. We have to compromise who we are in Christ to remain their friends with the world, it is not worth it.
James 4:4 "4 You adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore, whoever chooses to be a friend of the world renders himself an enemy of God."
John 8:36
"36 So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed"
