We do not see anywhere in the bible where God commands us to forgive ourselves. This idea was born out of secular psychology but has no basis in Scripture.
However, we do see that God wants us to trust Him that our sins have been expunged when we have confessed to be cleansed.
If we continue to walk in guilt, remaining subject to others who want to pretend we have not been forgiven, then we are not believing God when He said this;
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
If we remain guilty in our hearts over past forgiven sins then we are effectively not believing what God told us.
Also, if we have a sense of guilt when others accuse us of past forgiven sins then we are also not believing God. In this case, people hold more sway over us than God does.
Here's a possible response to anyone who would hold past forgiven sins against us, that are not being repeated;
"Yes, I did that, it was wicked and thankfully I confessed it to God and those I harmed, I have been cleansed having moved on to better things, Christ in
me has healed me."
If we remain in those sins claiming to have been forgiven then we were never repentant and were unconcerned about being cleansed. Words mean nothing unless backed up by a changed life. We do not change ourselves, it is Christ Who changes us in response to our desire to become like Him.
Many people are claiming to be "Christians" but nothing has changed in their lives. They remain arrogant, self-righteous, disobedient to God, and resistant to correction. These people were never born again, they were never changed by Christ into a new creation, the evidence is their continual rebellion against Him, His principles, and other believers.
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!"
Ephesians 4:17-31 "17 So I say this, and affirm in the Lord, that you are to no longer walk just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their minds,
18 being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart;
19 and they, having become callous, have given themselves up to indecent behavior for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.
20 But you did not learn Christ in this way,
21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus,
22 that, in reference to your former way of life, you are to rid yourselves of the old ]self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,
23 and that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,
24 and to put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth."
"25 Therefore, ridding yourselves of falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, because we are parts of one another.
26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.
28 The one who steals must no longer steal; but rather he must labor, producing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with the one who has need.
29 Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.
32 Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
One last thought, anyone who wants to keep you laden down with the guilt of past forgiven sins does not love you, has no interest in the glory of regeneration in Christ. Their father is the devil, he has one purpose, which is to accuse the brethren and diminish our walk through continual accusation.
Get away from these sort of people, they want you to feel debilitating guilt for your past sins because they remain in their own guilt and sin that has not been forgiven.
Hallelujah, when we confess our sins, desire to be cleansed God will do it. Then we will carry on in us to grow us in holiness. The victory is His all we have to do is submit to Him.
