Bad relationships are based on continual threats and guilt tripping, while good ones are based on logic and reason.
Love does not demonstrate itself in threats and manipulation, but rather is evident in concern for reasoning with one another to come to an agreement. It takes a desire to understand others, relinquish our desire to be right or first, while seeking the mind of the other person.
When we encounter continual manipulation to control us we know that the person involved has no interest in discovering our concerns or needs nor are they interested in sharing theirs. The only objective is to win over us to remain in a superior position.
Mutual respect and honor are required to develop a quality relationship, this can only be accomplished through genuine interest in the welfare of our friend.
Christ never manipulated others, He spoke the plain truth and they made the decision to accept or reject Him. Truth is the only way to resolve any problem. When truth is twisted or replaced with lies to control others, there is no possibility of reconciliation.
Humanly speaking it is natural to want to win in any discussion, but when we walk in the Spirit of God, our desires are not human but godly. The desire to resolve the conflict is greater than any pride of winning in our flesh. When we walk into a discussion with the attitude of winning, we cannot be honest nor can we be understanding of others.
Winning should never be the objective of a believer, only seeking and finding truth is the goal.
2 John 1:3-4 "…3 For I was very glad when brethren came and testified to your truth, that is, how you are walking in truth. 4 I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth."
1 Corinthians 4:14
"I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children."
Psalm 86:11 "Psalm 86:11
"Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name."
Galatians 5:16
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh."
John 8:32 "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
It is embarrassing to admit we were wrong, but the freedom that comes from confessing our failings to others is far greater than any temporary mortification of our flesh. It will bring a growth spirit and cleansing to our soul.
So many people hang onto their pride, refusing to confess their sin. Their spirit is in continual torment, even enhancing bitterness that eats away at them.
Ephesians 4:30-32 "…30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
The whole transgender mess, is another typical narcissistic move. Can anyone be thinking about the safety of the women and little girls that have to use those restrooms?
When one VERY SMALL segment of the population is willing to throw everyone else under the bus to coerce others into accepting their perverted lifestyle, we know we have been taken over by irrational narcissistic fools. These people have always practiced these things, no one stopped them, but they are not satisfied with their freedom to do evil, they now want to force others to accept them.
Their attitude is that of six year old brats. Their mantra: "accept us or we will hurt you."
This is happening regularly now, it began a long time ago when people stood up against abortion, then homosexuality and now transgender. What is next, are we to be subjected to pedephiles taking us to court for not hiring them to babysit our children?
Every deviant and reprehensible form of human depravity is being defended and forced upon the American people as though they are rights.The rights of the wicked are taking precedence over the rights of the righteous.
Those who are punished, maligned and mocked are those who will not accept this debaucherous behavior.
We are in more danger than ever of being molested, jailed or both because of the government overreach of defense of evil.
Does anyone actually think it will stop here? There is more to come, with each new form of evil being promoted and accepted, there is another one waiting in the wings to emerge. There are no boundaries to the level of wickedness now, the Pandora's box has been opened, there is no way to put the demons back in the box.
Our only hope is in Christ, He said it wold be this way in the end. He is coming soon and we are safe in Him. They can persecute us but they cannot touch the Spirit that lives in us. Most people will not listen, the days of revival are over, but our Hope is coming soon, in the air for His Bride!
It is as in the days of Noah when everyone did what was right in their own eyes and no one would listen. The only hope for the unbeliever is to confess their sinfulness and ask Christ to change them into a new creation.
2 Corinthians 5:17-18 "17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 18 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,…"
1 Corinthians 6:19
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?"
2 Corinthians 6:16
"Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE."
Ezekiel 36:27
"I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances."
I remember so many people thinking that song "I Did It My Way"by Frank Sinatra was wonderful, even having tears in their eyes at the prospect of doing everything their own way. It was only after I became a believer that I saw the terrible significance of that song in our culture.
Proverbs 1:10
My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them.
Proverbs 28:4
Those who forsake instruction praise the wicked, but those who heed it resist them.
John 3:20
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.
Why is there so much information on the subject of "narcissism" in our day? The answer is clear, we are living in the times of 2 Timothy 3:1-5, in which arrogance, selfishness and entitlement is elevated to a "virtue" status, even those who are seculars are seeing it, showing us how deeply prevalent it is now. Those walk with Christ are able to discern it early on with greater understanding.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
The covert narcissist lacks "generational boundaries", in other words they have no respect or honor for elders or those who have had much more experience in life than they have. Since they are deeply committed to self exaltation they cannot accept anyone as over them in any way.
These people tend to think they are equal with or above everyone, no matter their experience level. They will feel superior to those who have much more experience than they do, because they tend to think of themselves as "all knowing." How can someone who feels elevated to everyone else ever submit to God they cannot see?
It is impossible to reason with such a person, their elevated view of themselves prevents any self reflection or regret about anything they say or do. It is as if pulling teeth to get them to discuss anything. Their first response to a request to discuss a matter is to fight, argue and demean to gain the higher position. There is no semblance of rational, logical or levelheaded attempt at resolving anything and no sense whatever of concern for the one who wishes to settle a matter on amicable and loving terms. There will never be an apology for an offense nor will there be an admission of wrong. Tenderness, emotional vulnerability and compassion are seen as weakness to these types.
Narcissists are hyper sensitive to criticism, correction or instruction since they have elevated themselves above everyone except those they perceive to be the experts. Then they feel superior for having known the "expert."
There are emotional outbursts that seem irrational, since the smallest disagreement will send them into a sense that they have been attacked. Every challenge no matter how small is seen as a personal attack, rather than a chance to learn something or to grow.
These people accuse others of doing what they are doing but the others are not, one of the favored tactics of the devil.
The devils most effective and used maneuver is to accuse others of things they are not doing to unnerve them. If he can keep the believer in a continual state of trying to explain and defend themselves, he diverts their attention from the things God has for him to do, while causing the victim to feel a sense of helplessness.
When we see this happening, we need to pray for the Lord to intervene, while we remove ourselves. If you remember verse 5 of 2 Timothy 3, we are told to get away from those who will never admit their sin and will never apologize, they will only continue their covert tactics keeping us preoccupied with drama and foolishness.
I write about this a lot because there is so much more of this going on than ever before in this age of "self esteem." People in general are becoming more rude, mean, self righteous and down right antagonistic over the silliest things. If we know God's response to it and what He expects of us, we can effectively protect ourselves and others from those who have love only for themselves.
God says this to those who operate from this mentality of selfishness:
John 8:44 "You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
The key to all of this is to know our Bibles, pray continually for the Holy Spirit to lead in everything and be willing to walk away from destructive relationships that attempt to deter us from the principles of God.
1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
When we are in continual frustration we are focused on our own feelings rather than on Christ, this is exactly where the devil wants us.......distracted. We can be sure that these tactics and attempts to ruin us will increase as we move through these ends times. We don't have to give into it, we can be strong in Christ, walking as we should no matter who or what comes against us.
If our mind is being continually renewed and strengthened, we will not fall into the devil's trap.
Romans 12:2 "2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
Ephesians 4:27 "…26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity."
1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
2 Corinthians 4:4 "In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."
John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
James 1:13-15 "Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."
God does not want us to place anyone on a pedestal whose opinion takes priority over God's principles. When we see someone who is attempting to destroy our peace through evil tactics, then we can head it off by honoring God His way, resolving to be willing to lose that which does not enhance our walk with Christ.
We can move on to those who want to hear, those who may be open. We must avoid the pitfalls of remaining continually in the lives of those who would work to undermine our spiritual growth and our walk with Christ. NO ONE takes priority over Christ EVER!
Matthew 10:13-15 "…13"If the house is worthy, give it your blessing of peace. But if it is not worthy, take back your blessing of peace. 14"Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet. 15"Truly I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city."
Of course the verses in Matthew above are referring to bringing the gospel to a town, but the principle of removing ourselves from people who would only fight with us, is still applicable. Christ never followed or became close friends with the Pharisees who rejected Him, and neither should we.
