So many people years ago were taught in Bill Gothard seminars the umbrella concept that God was the top umbrella, man's umbrellas were under that and the woman's was under man. This could not be farther from the truth.
When God made two people one in marriage He melded two souls together who walked side by side, each having their rolls given to them by God, not man.
The woman's role was not given to her by the man or monitored by the man. Her role was given by God and she was to obey God in the role given to her.
The man was not over the woman but side by side with her as they worked together to carry out God's plan. They were opposite in their genders and souls coming together to complete one another. What the man lacked the woman supplied and what the woman lacked the man supplied, together they were complete.
The man is the leader by example and teaching, not by authority over. A man who claims authority over the woman is usurping the Holy Spirit in the woman.
The reason this union has been perverted is because the world has ignored the teachings of the Bible in favor of their own ideas that are not Biblical.
No husband will be the "mediator" between God and his wife as so many have tried to dictate in churches without saying it but acting as though it were so.
Women are to choose to obey God and submit to their husband's leadership unless he defied God, then she must obey God first.
According to Proverbs 31 the woman is the manager of the household much like the CEO of a company. She confers with the leader as to how they will run their lives together but she has the final word in how the household will be run.
The man is not independent of the woman, he discusses with his wife as they work things out together. One is not independent of the other.
1 Corinthians 11:10-12 "…10 For this reason a woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11 In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For just as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.…"
Men who treat their wives disrespectfully because they think she is under them are in disobedience against God.
1 Corinthians 12:12-22
"For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ."
No one is superior to anyone else because everyone born again has the Holy Spirit and consults and defers to Him first.
Ephesians 5:24-26 "…24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26 to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,…"
The woman wears the covering as a sign that she is an example of the church and the man does not wear a covering as a sign that He is an example of Christ and they are both together side by side under God.
Galatians 3:28
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus."
The roles of men and women are different but equal in status. No one is over the other but they both cooperate together to carry out God's purpose for them as a family.
The woman cares for and helps the man in all matters including Spiritual and the man protects the wife and shares with her the things of God so that she might grow in holiness.
Sadly I see so many men who are pretending to love their wives but treat them as "less than" in disobedience to the Word of God to protect and nurture them.
Ephesians 5:2
"and walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant sacrificial offering to God."
Everyone is to walk in love and difference to one another that our purpose under God not be maligned.
Ephesians 5:24
"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands."
Ephesians 5:28
"In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
It is only as Spiritual leader of the home that the wife submits, not in all things. We know that a woman is not to disobey God in order to obey her husband when he is telling her to disobey Christ.
Colossians 3:19
"Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them."
It is human nature for pagan men to treat their "weaker vessels" like chattel. Ungodly men are predisposed to dominating and demeaning their wives as though they are possessions to be used. this is antithetical to God's plan for marriage.
When Eve disobeyed God in the garden and then influenced her husband to do the same we see the dynamic of the marriage relationship at play.
The woman was to influence her husband but only for good. When God cursed the earth the influence of the woman became perverted. However, in a marriage when two people are born-again the marriage relationship under Christ returns to the way God intended it to be, that is a man as the leader and the woman as the influencer for righteousness.
Ungodly men often rebel against the counsel of their wives thinking she is less than he. The truth is the world's system under Satan, not God's way.
1 Peter 3:7
"Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration as a delicate vessel, and with honor as fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."
The husband has the power to destroy the emotional well being of his "weaker vessel" and many ungodly men use this to control their wives. This is wicked and against God's plan for a loving marriage under God's direction.
Ephesians 5:28
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."
Genesis 2:24
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
1 Peter 3:7
"Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration as a delicate vessel, and with honor as fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered."
It is vitally important that married couples leave their parents to begin their own separate lives together, making their own traditions, bringing up their own children.
When the parents interfere in the lives of their married children they have the potential of preventing Spiritual and emotional growth that needs to happen for the newly married couple to become truly one without the mandates and pressure of their parents.
Often parents expect their in-law children to be like them, act like them and do the things they think they should do. This placed frustration on the newly weds to remain faithful to the family instead of each other.
The father and mother of the newly married couple must allow their children to be the heads of their own households. The father and mother of the newly married couple ought not to insert themselves into the marriage becoming the leader instead of the new husband.
I can tell you that I did not begin to develop my real personality and realize my own calling until I was removed from extended family. We have personalities inside of us that are dormant while at home in our family as children, that will not develop fully until we have left the extended family environment.
Often children do not leave their family structure and remain stunted in their growth as well as chained to family traditions that their new spouse may not enjoy.
The new couple must make their own traditions, walk their own walk together as a couple in order to mature emotionally and Spiritually. After a few years of emotional development and guidance from God, the couple may choose to return to the family in limited ways once they have become secure and confident in who God called them to be.
From my perspective and personal experience, it was not possible to become the person God intended for me while enduring the pressure of extended family to remain faithful to the family structure rather than to God.
Often families expect the new couples to remain just like them, without Spiritual and emotional growth and with the constant pressure of the culture of the family.
Ephesians 5:25-33
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."
No newly married couple should allow extended family to dictate or pressure them into making decisions that the two of them did not make alone together.
There are those who teach that a man makes all the decisions without consulting with his wife. This is wicked and against everything God taught in His Word for a marriage. Catholicism teaches this nonsense, Islam teaches it , Mormons teach it and many protestant churches teach it too, it is against God's Word.
Women and men are to submit one to another as each carries out their calling and role given to them by God. Both submit to God first and then to one another as each one seeks Christ.
No one is treated as "less than" or "as children", they are both adults with important callings and each should respect one another.
