The Nature of Gossip and God's Solution

I was just recently asked about the nature of gossip and what it produces. Over the years I have seen all forms of gossip, much of it is non-verbal.

When someone treats us disrespectfully through dismissiveness or encourages someone to disregard us through, what I call, disapproving grunting sounds, instead of communication, with the hope that the only person who will notice is the target of the disrespect and those looking on who will conclude that something is wrong with us, there will be a continuing occurrence of this mentality that is so far reaching that only God can fix it.

Contemptuous actions come in many forms, one of which is disregard for our lives in general. Have you ever met someone who seem to disapprove of everything you say and do when there is nothing wrong with what you have said or done? This is rampant among those who do not know Christ. Acting superior to control the minds and emotions of others is the very tactic the devil uses often. Not only do these people attempt to control the minds of their targets they also attempt to influence others to treat the target the same way they treat them.

I have seen these tactics used in extended families in which the main narcissists drive the thinking and emotions of all the other flying monkeys. Whatever the main narcissist is doing is followed by the rest of the family without any evidence of wrongdoing. As long as the leader desires to think something is wrong the rest will think there is too even if they have never seen it for themselves.

When this happens those who are involved in group-think will evaluate everything the target is doing, even good deeds, as foolish or wrong just because of their prejudice against the target. Once the narcissistic leader has instilled this attitude of contempt in their flying monkeys it is impossible to change their minds.

This is why broken relationships based on the influence of the narcissist can never be repaired. This is the reason we have racism in our culture and judging based on feelings far more than rational thinking that leads to investigation to find out the truth about an individual.

I have seen and experienced groups who were given a "heads-up" about someone and would base how they treat them on what they have heard and not on anything they have seen for themselves.

The fact that it is rare for the hearer of the gossip to go to the target and ask whether something is true or not is because the hearers are loyal to the narcissist and fear going against them, so they choose to believe what they heard, and continue the trickle down effect to other new comers to the group.

This is why it is crucial to find those who do not know the narcissists and their flying monkeys and move on from them in a new life free from gossip and drama.

Thank the Lord He gives us plenty of scripture that describes them with the instructions to remove ourselves, cleansing our lives of the ungodly who create drama for no other reason than to feel superior.

2 Timothy 3 describes these trouble makers and shows us that they are increasing in the world right before Christ comes for His church. We have this to look forward to as we "look up" toward God in joyful expectation of our homegoing.

Do not be discouraged or intimidated just keep on following Christ, expunge from your lives those who want to believe their lies and omission about you and be confident that God will give you new relationships that are not like the world and will edify us as we edify one another.

Ephesians 4:29

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Romans 14:19

"So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding."

1 Corinthians 14:26

"What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up."

1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Let go of all those who attempt to discourage you from your calling and wait on God to bring others who love Him as much as you do.

Tom Wadsworth on @r4e Podcast: What Was the Purpose of the Christian Ass...

Beware of False Preachers Who Teach False Doctrine

Beware, there are many preachers on the internet now who are teaching that one can lose the salvation God gave us by grace when we repent and trust in Him.

Christ does not require us to "do" anything to earn salvation. He justifies us by His sacrifice on the cross imputed to us.

God saves us by His grace in response to our desire to be changed into a new creation by Him. Nothing we do can save us, we cannot be good enough to earn heaven. When we become born again the way we think is changed but the Spirit in us battles against our flesh.

Hebrews 12:5-7 "…5And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you. 6For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son He receives.” 7Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"

If we could keep ourselves perfect we would not need passages like this one that demonstrates God loves us and because He loves us He disciplines us to return to obedience. He also provides an advocate for us to the Father, that is Jesus Christ.

1 John 2:1 "

"My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;"

Galatians 5:17-25

"17 For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want.

18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.

19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: sexual immorality, impurity, indecent behavior,

20 idolatry, witchcraft, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

25 If we live by the Spirit, let’s follow the Spirit as well."

No child of God continues in sin, when we fall we confess it to be cleansed of it but we do not lose the salvation of Christ.

1 John 3:5-7 "…5 But you know that Christ appeared to take away sins, and in Him there is no sin.

6 No one who remains in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has seen Him or known Him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you: The one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as Christ is righteous.…"

No one who has been changed into a new creation by Christ practices a lifestyle of sin. if we fall we confess it and Christ in us cleanses us to continue on free from that sin.

Our lifestyle as believers is one of continual confession to grow in holiness. Those who will not confess sins and believe they have no sin in them at all, are not born again.

1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

These passages were written to believers who are eternally saved. This provision of an Advocate, that is Jesus Christ is not in unsaved people.

1 John 2:1-2 "My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate before the Father— Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2 He Himself is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world."

Those who are not born again do not have an advocate, they remain in spiritual death until they confess their sinfulness and desire to be changed by Christ. When He changes them and saves them they will also have the Holy Spirit living in them and are adopted as His children saved for eternity.