Saturday, April 20, 2019

The Narcissist and Their Double Standard

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Only Brokenness Will Save a Man From Hell

There are those who would call me bitter for writing the truth about pretenders in the church. I know the pretenders very well and can recognize some of their tactics, often in the first meeting.

I grew up in a family who attended church all their lives. My mother and father were revered in the community, but home life was very mean and ugly.

I was punished once for revealing something that happened in our home to a neighbor. My brother over heard me mentioning it, tattled on me and my father beat me for speaking about it.

My brother was very religious and mean. He picked on those he thought were weaker than he, claiming it was a joke. My parents never disciplined him for it, even empowering him at times by snickering when I would complain about it.

To this day he is the same. He raged at me over the phone for exposing the things he had done. And, this man has been in church all his life, now in his seventies, still refusing to apologize for all his anger,hate and jealousy.

Jealousy was at the core of everything, also having married a very jealous person, they lied against me to others, made false judgments and continue to do so.

Thank the Lord that they were not the only Christians I knew. If they had been the only Christians I ever knew I might not have wanted anything to do with Christianity.

Sadly, these people have not grown one wit since we were young. They continue their meanness to this very day, justifying it as though they had a good reason. I tell you this because I have become somewhat of an expert on what "fake Christianity" looks like and how the family can hide it from everyone but the scapegoat of the family. The one who tells the truth about their duplicity.

It is very heart wrenching to hear others praise the very people you knew were mean and full of rage, who never repented. If you were to tell those who praise them of their real persona, you would be seen as a bitter person telling lies. I know of others who have been through this very thing throughout their lives, finally becoming tired of the false persona's of their family members, only to be rejected by those who elevate them as special.

Even those who have been sexually abused by a family member have been rejected by the rest of the family for exposing the evil. There may be some false accusations of abuse but I am convinced based on what I have seen, that many who have been rejected by family for telling, have been abused. There are certain things they say and ways they express themselves that is strong evidence that they really were abused.

I write this to those who have experienced this very thing. These pretenders do not represent Christ, they are not what an authentic believer looks like.

Authentic believers are kind and loving all the time to everyone. They do not ignore people to elevate self. They do not interpret things badly about someone just to be superior to them.

Authentic believers do not gossip with guesses about what they wish to believe about someone. They do not praise evil, they do not accept a false witness just to be elevated in the group.

Authentic believers love hearing about the things of God. They refrain from making judgments based on scanty and even no information about what they thought they saw.

Authentic believers act in love toward everyone, even when others are not watching.

Even the pretenders can stop pretending and become born again. When that happens they are no longer pretenders, all pride is removed and replaced with shame and humility. They are not just "saying something" to be seen as good, they are really changed into the opposite of what they were before. They become completely new, all the old goes away and the new dominates their being.

John 3:1-21
The New Birth
3 Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews;
2 this man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.”
3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
4 Nicodemus *said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born, can he?”
5 Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7 Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ 8 The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
9 Nicodemus said to Him, “How can these things be?”
10 Jesus answered and said to him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and do not understand these things?
11 Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know and testify of what we have seen, and you do not accept our testimony.
12 If I told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things?
13 No one has ascended into heaven, but He who descended from heaven: the Son of Man.
14 As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up;
15 so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life.
16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
17 For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.
18 He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
19 This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.
20 For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
21 But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.”

Just "saying" "I am a Christian" does not bring someone into the family of God. Going to church every week, even being at the church building every time it opens does not make someone born again. Knowing the Bible and all the right things to say does not make someone born again.

We are born again by desiring to be changed into a new creation by Christ. Because of the realization that we are sinful to the very core we are ashamed of our sin. When we know Christ paid for that sin, it humbles us. When we have confessed that sinfulness to Christ then He changes us. We do not just claim we are Christian, do a few things we think are good while ignoring all the rest of scripture, and expect to be born again.

If someone thinks they are Christian because of how good they think they have been, then they are not born again.

One cannot become born again by saying they are, they must be broken over their sinfulness. No brokenness, no salvation. One cannot remain proud knowing just how sinful their own black hearts are in comparison to a holy God.

When a pretender finally does confess their sinfulness all their tactics, all their lies are confessed so that they can be cleansed.

There is no cleansing without confession of the sinfulness.

1 John 1:9 "1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

One cannot be reconciled to God or another person unless this brokenness has occurred and confession follows.

When someone become born again God begins to reveal the past sins that they might be realized. We do not make changes in our behavior unless and until we know clearly what we have done with our lives.

Born again believers tend to leave the past in the past, even if someone offended us 40 years ago we do not hang onto the offense unless those same offenses keep happening over and over again. When there is a pattern of continual abuse we can assume there has been no contrition.

Psalm 51:17 "…16 For You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You take no pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."





Embarrassed About Sin or Defending Sin?

A born again believer is embarrassed about their sin, but a non-believer sees nothing wrong with their sin, even angry when told it is sin.

Its very difficult now to discern who is born again and who is not. I am content not to know who is born again and who is not, that's God's business.

However, I can approach someone who claims to be a Christian when they are sinning. If they reject the truth and continue in the sin, then I am instructed by God to leave them alone, releasing me from any responsibility of continuing a relationship with them.

If I explain a sin to a born again believer and they think about it, accept the rebuke as a blessing, then we can rejoice together. This is also true of me, if someone approaches me about a sin or flaw.

The key is that we must go to God when we are challenged by anyone, unless God has already spoken to us about that matter and we already know the truth.

In our day we are going to be chastised for taking a stand for Christ. Those who love Him and walk with Him daily are going to be accused of all kinds of things.

Psalm 109:1-5 "109 O God of my praise,
Do not be silent!
2 For they have opened the wicked and deceitful mouth against me;
They have spoken against me with a lying tongue.
3 They have also surrounded me with words of hatred,
And fought against me without cause.
4 In return for my love they act as my accusers;
But I am in prayer.
5 Thus they have repaid me evil for good
And hatred for my love."

Humility is being willing to evaluate the challenge as it leads us to prayer. Humility also includes being able to carry on in the truth even if others malign our reputation for our obedience to God without a need to explain or retaliate.

Psalm 109:4-5
"4 In return for my love they act as my accusers;
But I am in prayer.
5 Thus they have repaid me evil for good
And hatred for my love."

James 4:6
"But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

1 Peter 5:6
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,"

God really does have our back. He sees all, knows what its all about and uses all our dealings and experiences for His purposes and our good. We can leave it all to Him.

1 Peter 5:5
"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Proverbs 11:2
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom."

Matthew 23:12
"Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

There are those who will interpret boldness as lack of humility, except when it is them that are being bold.

Boldness for Christ is far different from boldness to elevate self.

Micah 6:8
"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"