She declared that since her children were all in ministry, they were doing very well and therefore perfect.
Explaining to her that no one is perfect, that the realization that we are all fallible and in need of correction to help us grow in holiness, this woman began to accuse me of "judging" and being "mean spirited", for challenging her to think in godly terms.
Since only God is perfect, even His children Adam and Eve made their own choice to disobey Him, proves that parents are not "wonderful" and cannot cause their own children to make the right choices toward God.
It must be the Holy Spirit working in the lives of people and the proper response from the one the Holy Spirit is dealing with, that shows us the heart of our children. No parent can take the credit for the way their children turn out, they are not robots that are programmed whichever way we choose.
There have been a few "self righteous" people in my life from time to time who really believed that all they had to do was teach their children from the Bible, pray with them in the home and they would automatically be wonderful Christians. They used the principles of the scripture in Proverbs 22:6 "6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it."
The problem with using this verse as the criteria for children becoming born again, is that it is not a principle that promises this will happen. The principle from the original language, means that our children will not forget what they learned. It is not promised that they will become born again.
If the Proverbs 22 verse meant that a child will automatically go the way of the parent, then there would be no need for the following verse and it would contradict God.
Ezekiel 18:20 " 20 "The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself. "
No parent will be held responsible for the choices of their children. And, believe God when He says; your children will have to make their own choice. Nothing is automatic with the raising of children. The first thing to realize is that no parent is perfect so how on earth could we expect them to do all the right things to make a child want to follow Christ.
Also let us remember that there are adult children who have ungodly and unsaved parents who raised them in the world, who when they heard the gospel, responded and trusted Christ without the influence of parents. Not only without that influence but even being taught ways contrary to Christ.
We know from the Word that God the father was the Perfect Parent, but His children made their own choices.
Those who believe they are wonderful parents, walk in pride and often, if not always judge others based on the choices the children make, even without knowing anything about what went on in the home. Or, often based on the testimony of rebellious children who skewed the events in a way that made them look innocent.
Far too many people are judging their opinions of others on what they think they see from afar, rather than on the evidence. It makes me sad when I hear Christians say things like, "their children went bad, they must have been bad parents." They don't use these words exactly, but they treat the parents in ways that demean and reduce them to criminal status. If they were to go into a court of law with their opinions, there would be no evidence, eye witness or otherwise, to prove their assertions that the parents caused the rebellion in their children. The idea that people go bad because they are treated badly or neglected, is not based on the sinful heart of man as described in God’s Word, but rather it is based on psychology that assumes if someone is evil it is because someone did something to them that made them that way. It is the premise coming from evolutionary thinking that mankind is nothing more than evolving animals that do everything out of conditioning, instinct or fear.
Mankind does not operate out of conditioning and fear often, we operate out of selfishness, greed, self- righteousness and everything else listed in 2 Timothy 3:1-5
2 Timothy 3:-5 “3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.”
In our culture today, many children, especially those raised in public schools, choose the opinions of their teachers over the guidance of their parents. They interpret everything that goes on in the home in terms of what they are being taught in the school system, as they are taught evolution. They have been programmed to believe they should be treated special and others should do things for them just the way they want.
The school system asserts that children are "programmed" by parents through stimuli. All the choices of the children were based on how they were treated rather than on their own will and reactions.
When we hear silly things like, "hurting people hurt people", we see how wrong judgments can be made. Many children are not hurting, they are just indulged, causing them to become arrogant and believe they can hurt others to control them. They know they can get away with it because society will give them an excuse.
Not all people who are hurting, hurt others. We do not have to hurt others because we were hurt, many choose to do better in life than the way they were treated by others.
The premise that we have an excuse to hurt others is not only faulty but dangerous all the way around. We can actually teach others from the Bible, that we do not have to “react” to the actions of others. We can choose to be and do what we know to be right, even choosing to bless those who would curse us. We also have the option as stated in 2 Timothy 3:5, to remove ourselves if possible from those who torment us.
Christ was our example, He died for those who persecuted Him, even while they were yet sinners. But He never remained with those who heard the truth and rejected it. He moved on to others to reach everyone, enabling them to have a choice to follow Him or not to follow Him.
No one will enter heaven because of someone else, they will enter heaven based on their own response to the gospel. Those who brought them the gospel are instruments. The instrument speaks truth and the Holy Spirit works in the hearts, while the people make their choices. God gets the credit not the planter.
1 Corinthians 3:6-8 “…6 I planted the seed and Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 He who plants and he who waters are one in purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor.…”
