If you find yourselves missing the narcissist after a discard. Not to worry.
Perhaps somewhere we can buy a little wind up box that says things like:
"You are stupid."
"Why did you buy that it makes you look fat."
" No one listens to you"
"You don't need to do that, no one will like it"
"You always......anything"
"You never......anything."
"Your too sensitive"
"Your a big baby"
"You seem angry" When you were not angry but they were.
"No one likes you"
Then there is the disapproving grunt, only grunting sounds made whenever we speak truth or are enjoying something.
This way we never have to miss the narcissist, their phrases can be with us always even when they are not there.
Remember that a real smile engages the whole face. The eyes light up, there are wrinkles around the eyes and mouth. A fake smile is only around the mouth, the eyes remain unaffected, the face is not engaged with a happy emotion.
There were times in my many interactions with people that I noticed something was off when someone smiled. I couldn't figure out why I was suspect, after all they were smiling.
Our bodies give us away even if we are not aware of it. Genuine smiles involve the entire face and wrinkles around the eyes. A phony smile is only around the mouth itself.
I am convinced that whatever is inside of us, the real us, will reveal itself in our bodies without us even realizing it.
The joy of the Lord can be seen in someone even if they don't know they are presenting a joyous spirit. Their mannerisms exude a demeanor of confidence and joy that if often absent in those who do not know the Lord.
We cannot manufacture in our own flesh joy or happiness.
Strong believers have joy all the time, even in the middle of very difficult times. This is the greatest witness of all to the unbeliever. The ability to remain calm, steady and patient in the face of great trial. It is not wealth, health or miracles that we influence people for Christ, its in our steady life confidence in the face of everything.
Accomplishments do not move the wise person toward pride. These people remain humble all the time. When Christ is the focus, all accomplishment is not ours but His, He gets the credit for our lives, there is no reason to feel superior or proud.
Strong believers feel no need to pretend good things about themselves or their families. Their greatest strength is in truthfully facing things head on while praying for solutions.
Those who do not admit there are problems will never pray for solutions. These people are content to pretend things that are not true as long as they can get others to see their life as perfect and wonderful. Genuine people are able to tell the truth without feeling shame that they or others around them are not perfect.
The people I have known that have grown the most spiritually and emotionally have been those who are genuine, honest and forthright. These people learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others.
It is not important what others think of us, only what God thinks. It is not important that we see ourselves as special or perfect, only that we see our selves in truth. It is the truth that sets us free. Pretense only leave us in bondage. The pretense must be continually presented to feel whole. When we see things in truth and speak truth then is when we grow to be better. The pressure to be seen as wonderful is not there to bind us up.
AND, guess what? We all need to be better, there is no one who has arrived at perfection and no one who becomes holier by pretending they are perfect. Those who pretend never self reflect and they never grow.
Want to grow? Admit the flaws and learn from them to gain spiritual maturity.
Proverbs 21:1-2 "1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. 2 The good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a man who devises evil.…"
