Monday, June 26, 2023

Today's In-Law Children

It is very common in our world today for in-law children to turn our children against us. I cannot count the number of times I have seen this happen to parents who love the Lord.
The in-law children will convince their spouse that something is wrong with their parents and their only allegiance should be to the in-law parent.
There is a jealousy that in-law children often have to be the only ones special in their new spouse's life. They are insecure and believe their new spouse can only love one person, and that they should not love others, only them.
There is also a lack of tolerance for different ways of doing things, and a strange resentment toward in-law parents merely because they have a different family dynamic than their own families of origin.
Selfishness is in overdrive in our culture now. Those who want their own way all the time refuse to consider that their spouse loves their own family too. I have seen many families abandoned and hated by an in-law spouse without just cause.
Luke 12:53
Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
We know that a child of ours cannot be turned on a dime by a narcissistic spouse, there has to be some underlying angst in the child that allows an in-law spouse the ability to turn them.
We are living in the last days as described in Scripture, in which our children's generation cares only about themselves all the time, carrying this indulgent indifference into their new marriage and sadly retaining it through the senior years of their parents.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, [a]haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of [b]godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
I have also seen indulgent in-law children attempt to turn a parent against another parent in an effort to harm the one they don't like. Loving on the favored parent is a favorite tactic of the narcissist to cause division in the marriage relationship. This is far more common than we realize.
Choosing favorites over silly things is Satan's way of building the pride of one party while attempting to diminish the confidence of the one they despise.
The tactics of the in-law children are legion. I say it that way because I am convinced these tactics and in-law children are being controlled by the devil. I am convinced of this because the anger is irrational and without foundation or they would be willing to have a sit-down conversation to resolve a problem. Not only will these people not sit down to talk something through, they will not respond when asked to explain why it is happening.
I have heard a number of testimonies of people who have been ghosted by their children and in-law children, meaning they disappear, block and ignore all attempts of the parents to contact them, without any discussion or explanation. They just disappear without a word.
When someone has no desire to talk openly without anger to the one they think has offended them in some way, we know there is probably not a legitimate offense.
Those who love others want to resolve a conflict, however in the case of the abandoned and ignored parties, those who are abandoned and ignored don't even know why this is happening. Even if they try to discuss it before the ghosting they found the mere attempt to understand was enough for them to be cut off forever and worse, cut off from their grandchildren.
I have known people who attempted to contact their adult grandchildren after they left their parent's home who were unresponsive, making it clear the parents had poisoned the children against them.
The good news is that God can take care of the elderly without their obnoxious children. Chances are good that the elderly are better off without adult children treating them disrespectfully, raging at them and even stealing their possessions. Sometimes God removes the adult children in order to protect the parents from elder abuse.
Life is so peaceful without angry, selfish family in it. May the Lord give the elderly the strength to draw a line in the sand when they have been mistreated while at the same time regaining their joy at the lovely peace within their own homes.
Philippians 4:6-7
"6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all [b]comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Our family is the family of born-again believers who love Christ the same way we do, we can be joyful in that.