Ancestry discovery has nothing to do with who we are. Yes we have the DNA of others, but that is not what makes us who we are. We are not animals who act according to our DNA.
We are human beings who can choose to act which ever way we desire. Our DNA gives us physical characteristics as well as emotional ones, but that is not what controls us.
Those who are controlled by their emotions will act badly when nothing bad has happened except that someone else outshines them. The jealousy monster over takes them, they lean into their feelings believing things that aren't even true, to justify their actions born out of impetuousness.
Its our choices that control us. We can be controlled by the devil and the flesh which fully controls anyone who is not born again.
Those who are born again are controlled by the Holy Spirit.
We have a choice to make, to follow Christ or our flesh and the devil. Whichever choice someone makes determines their responses to life.
The fleshly/devilish person will remain hostile to truth and arrogantly believe they have all knowledge.
The righteous man seeks to please God causing him to run to the Word of God for all the answers he will ever need.
Luke 12:51-53
"Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
Matthew 10:35-37
"For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
Our families give us physical attributes but we have the responsibility to develop our character. The only way to have the right character is to have the righteousness of Christ. The only way to have Christ is to believe in Him and desire to be cleansed by Him from our sinfulness.
Often our families will be jealous of our relationship with Christ and that we have friends outside the family structure. They will attempt to draw us away from Christ to become like them.
When we are in Christ while seeking Him daily we will not succumb to the pressure of family mobings, we will be free to make our own choices according to the Bible.
Praise God He is our strength for everything we must endure.
Those who have contempt for truth tellers make up in their mind what they want to believe about you and then act as though it is fact.
They will even go so far as to gossip to others the lie they made up. They will demean and mock their target privately to others to foster a distrust for the person they despise.
Keep in mind that God knows all about it and they did it to Him.
James 1:2-8
"2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
Man has a propensity to make excuses for their own behavior, especially when they know they have sinned.
In my observations I notice that people make up in their own minds the things they wish to believe, not what is truth, and pass it on as gossip against the ones for which they have contempt.
The narcissist must believe you are a bad person to allow them an excuse to despise you. In the effort to make this solidified in their own mind they create a false view of your character as well as distorting events.
Jealousy is often at the root of these mean spirited behaviors. Those who wish to hate others are usually intimidated by the confidence and resolve of the target to remain true to their own beliefs. The narcissist must have followers , if you do not follow them, you are despised.
These demonically controlled people pick and poke at you regularly hoping for a strong defensiveness from you, to be able to accuse you of being out of control.
This is the "bully affect", in my words, in which the bully distorts events, picks at you until you are raw and then gloats when you become angry.
There is a solution to managing these haters, that is to refuse to engage in their game of poke. When they do such things do not respond, remain silent, calmly and quietly leave the room, even the gathering.
The narcissist loves to cause conflict. When they have only themselves to see, they might learn the important boundary, that is they get no narcissistic food from watching their target melt down. That boundary being to completely ignore them when they are having one of their tantrums. Conflict is food for the narcissist.
Having lived with raging, arrogant, vulgar and rude people all through my growing up years I have a knowledge of how this works.
Proverbs 14:15-17 "…15 The simple man believes every word, but the prudent man watches his steps. 16 A wise man fears and turns from evil, but a fool is careless and reckless. 17 A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a devious man is hated.…"
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Fools do not listen, they do not ponder another viewpoint other than their own and they are angry when someone else does not follow their way.
Proverbs 29:11
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."
A wise man does not engage with fools, they avoid them.
Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
The reason it is impossible to work out a conflict with a fool is the ranting and raving that occurs when they are confronted with their own sin against us. The refusal to admit what they did or even make us believe it was our fault.
When someone is a "covert" narcissist their tactics are a little different. They feign being the victim even with tears to manipulate our feelings. I have seen this several times in my life.
Instead of addressing and facing what the covert narcissist did they evoke emotion in the one they harmed to feel bad about confronting them. One never gets to a resolution of the problem because the covert diverts all feelings and emotions toward how badly you made them feel.
When there is an attempt to bring the covert narcissist back to the issue at hand, they turn their tears into rage. The "turning on a dime" emotionally, in the same conversation is a clear sign of manipulation. The tears were a tactic or response to being caught and the raging is a tactic to keep the conversation away from the covert's issues.
When someone is blubbering with crocodile tears one minute and then raging the next, we know this one is guilty of what they have been confronted about.
A humble, kind and loving person is not likely to do mean things to people in the first place, but if they offend someone without realizing it they generally feel ashamed and apologize quickly. The humble, loving person hates to hurt others, even their enemies.
The humble, kind person is more concerned with doing and being what is right than they are with preserving a false persona of perfection to others.
When we love God we are more likely to "straight talk", that is to make things clear without flattery and without manipulation, in order to come to a solution. The narcissist wants no solutions, they only want power over others.
Several times in my life I made an effort to have conversations with narcissists, in every case the conversation blew up into denial, foolishness and out and out attacks. This is when we know what we are dealing with, the tantrum of the selfish self absorbed and self entitled narcissist.
These people will even accuse you of refusing to communicate when they were the ones who shut down the attempts at communication. Let it be clear the narcissist will accuse us of what they are doing and we are not. Its a favorite tactic. Sadly it manages to fool good hearted people. Good hearted people are more likely to evaluate themselves to see if they were at fault in some way.
The good hearted person evaluates themselves when in their heart of hearts they know they didn't do anything to deserve the blow up that occurred. This is why I am driven to educate people on the tactics and antics of the narcissist. When we know what someone is doing and that they are doing it deliberately, it will not cause anything in us.
We can remain steady and unreactive all the time without the burden of false guilt.
Matthew 5:11
“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account."
Proverbs 11:9
"With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered."
Keep looking up, soon we will not have these things to contend with anymore. Also remember that we are not fighting against flesh and blood. When a "person" rages irrationally at us, then we can know that a demon is controlling them.
Fighting against a person who is being controlled by a demon is like pounding ones head against a brick wall.
The best thing to do is fight the demon in prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and remove ourselves from those who will refuse to be delivered.
Romans 12:19
"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
James 1:2-4
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Bottom Line: Allow God to do our fighting for us, He knows better than we what is needed.
