Sometimes we think we know so much about another person, but do we really?
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Pretense Destroys
Our culture has trained us to pretend the bad is not there, through sayings like, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." That means if it is negative and truthful, we should neglect truth to be positive.
This mantra is not only unBiblical it is damaging. Those who are honest and open, seeing the bigger picture and larger need for improvement, will be the one chastised for negativity.
Christ did more warning, correction, rebuke and chastisement than anything else, because He was dealing with a sinful, lost and rebellious culture, same as we have today.
It is time we begin truth telling, say it for the purpose of helping others to grow in righteousness, do not neglect that which is more important than happy feelings.
Hebrews 12:8 "But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons."
This mantra is not only unBiblical it is damaging. Those who are honest and open, seeing the bigger picture and larger need for improvement, will be the one chastised for negativity.
Christ did more warning, correction, rebuke and chastisement than anything else, because He was dealing with a sinful, lost and rebellious culture, same as we have today.
It is time we begin truth telling, say it for the purpose of helping others to grow in righteousness, do not neglect that which is more important than happy feelings.
Hebrews 12:8 "But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons."
True Sorrow Leads to Change
There is a difference between tears of pain because of what someone is going through as a result of their sin and tears of sorrow for what we have put someone else through. Tears do not always mean true repentance that brings a change in behavior.
2 Corinthians 7:10 "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death."
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;"
Luke 6:25 "25 “Woe to you who are well-fed now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep."
James 4:9 "Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom."
Someone who cares more about the pain of others, will be deeply sorrowful for what they have done to others.
Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Promises not to repeat the same sin against others, are of no consequence unless it is backed up with a change in attitude and behavior. It is better to not make promises to change, rather confess what the sin is and seek God to change our hearts.
2 Chronicles 7:14 - "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."
1 John 1:9 - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Acts 3:19 - "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;"
When we say "I am so sorry" to a friend or family member, it can mean two things. It can mean that we are sorry we got caught or it can mean we are sorry for the consequences of our actions.
Saying we are sorry can also mean that we feel very badly that someone else was harmed by our actions. This last sorrow is the one that will rebuild a broken relationship.
The first display of sorrow over consequences while lacking sorrow over the pain we have caused others, only deepens the brokenness in the relationship.
Ezekiel 18:21-23 "21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: [and] not that he should return from his ways, and live?"
God wrote many things in His word about how to be a good friend, how to be a good husband or wife and how to raise children in relationships. Often our human relationships are a microcosm of our relationship with God.
How we view others often demonstrates how we view God. When we have little or no honor or respect for others, we will have little or no honor for God. We can do all the religious rituals in the world to impress those around us, but God is not impressed with our religious demonstrations, when our life has not demonstrated obedience to Him and love for others.
It is clear from God's Word that if we have love in our hearts, we will love others. Christ loved others to the point of going to the cross to pay for their sin. God gives everyone an opportunity to become born again, allowing God to change who they are into a new creation, then and only then, can we love others, if we have the love of God in us.
1 John 3:14 "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death."
There is no love in competitiveness to appear superior to others. There is no love in a desire to control others. Those who possess the love of God care deeply about the welfare of others much more than their own. Their thoughts are continually bent toward blessing others with kindness and dignity. There is no dignity or kindness in a controlling spirit, one that attempts to shape others into their desired image of us.
When we love people we can enjoy their personalities, their quirks and differences. Of course this is not accepting sin, but realizing that we all struggle with sin, we are to show tenderness and mercy to our brothers and sisters, not to overlook sin, but to speak truth, while working to restore our brother or sister to fellowship though honesty and openness. Any display of superiority is sin and further damages relationships.
There can be no closeness when there is manipulation and deceitful pretense.
It is through honesty, integrity and love that we grow a quality relationship. There is no place for superiority among believers, all have fallen short of the glory of God and all have a journey of training in this life.
Psalm 41:11-13 - "By this I know that you delight in me: my enemy will not shout in triumph over me. But you have upheld me because of my integrity, and set me in your presence forever. Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting! Amen and Amen."
Psalm 101:1-2 - I will sing of steadfast love and justice; to you, O LORD, I will make music. I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? Will walk with integrity of heart within my house;"
Proverbs 28:18 - Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered, but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall."
Why do I write so much about relationships and narcissism? The answer is because we are encountering more of the sin of pride as we are moving into the last days of apostasy. Some of our most difficult relationships are in the church, the place we would expect to find the most love, we are encountering much arrogance and self exaltation.
The apostate church fosters an attitude of pride through the entitlement mentality called "health, wealth and prosperity" doctrine. This evil system is teaching people to focus on themselves while clamoring after worldly endeavors and prominence. When health, wealth and prosperity is the goal, there leaves little room for spiritual growth or proper godly relationships. How will we have the time to quietly reflect on our inner being when we are running after everything in the world we can possibly get our hands on?
May each one of us reflect on our own lives, comparing them with how Christ walked and what He valued. I think we will find that Christ was about relationships and self sacrifice for the sake of the brethren.
2 Corinthians 7:10 "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death."
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;"
Luke 6:25 "25 “Woe to you who are well-fed now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep."
James 4:9 "Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom."
Someone who cares more about the pain of others, will be deeply sorrowful for what they have done to others.
Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Promises not to repeat the same sin against others, are of no consequence unless it is backed up with a change in attitude and behavior. It is better to not make promises to change, rather confess what the sin is and seek God to change our hearts.
2 Chronicles 7:14 - "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."
1 John 1:9 - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Acts 3:19 - "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;"
When we say "I am so sorry" to a friend or family member, it can mean two things. It can mean that we are sorry we got caught or it can mean we are sorry for the consequences of our actions.
Saying we are sorry can also mean that we feel very badly that someone else was harmed by our actions. This last sorrow is the one that will rebuild a broken relationship.
The first display of sorrow over consequences while lacking sorrow over the pain we have caused others, only deepens the brokenness in the relationship.
Ezekiel 18:21-23 "21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: [and] not that he should return from his ways, and live?"
God wrote many things in His word about how to be a good friend, how to be a good husband or wife and how to raise children in relationships. Often our human relationships are a microcosm of our relationship with God.
How we view others often demonstrates how we view God. When we have little or no honor or respect for others, we will have little or no honor for God. We can do all the religious rituals in the world to impress those around us, but God is not impressed with our religious demonstrations, when our life has not demonstrated obedience to Him and love for others.
It is clear from God's Word that if we have love in our hearts, we will love others. Christ loved others to the point of going to the cross to pay for their sin. God gives everyone an opportunity to become born again, allowing God to change who they are into a new creation, then and only then, can we love others, if we have the love of God in us.
1 John 3:14 "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death."
There is no love in competitiveness to appear superior to others. There is no love in a desire to control others. Those who possess the love of God care deeply about the welfare of others much more than their own. Their thoughts are continually bent toward blessing others with kindness and dignity. There is no dignity or kindness in a controlling spirit, one that attempts to shape others into their desired image of us.
When we love people we can enjoy their personalities, their quirks and differences. Of course this is not accepting sin, but realizing that we all struggle with sin, we are to show tenderness and mercy to our brothers and sisters, not to overlook sin, but to speak truth, while working to restore our brother or sister to fellowship though honesty and openness. Any display of superiority is sin and further damages relationships.
There can be no closeness when there is manipulation and deceitful pretense.
It is through honesty, integrity and love that we grow a quality relationship. There is no place for superiority among believers, all have fallen short of the glory of God and all have a journey of training in this life.
Psalm 41:11-13 - "By this I know that you delight in me: my enemy will not shout in triumph over me. But you have upheld me because of my integrity, and set me in your presence forever. Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting! Amen and Amen."
Psalm 101:1-2 - I will sing of steadfast love and justice; to you, O LORD, I will make music. I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? Will walk with integrity of heart within my house;"
Proverbs 28:18 - Whoever walks in integrity will be delivered, but he who is crooked in his ways will suddenly fall."
Why do I write so much about relationships and narcissism? The answer is because we are encountering more of the sin of pride as we are moving into the last days of apostasy. Some of our most difficult relationships are in the church, the place we would expect to find the most love, we are encountering much arrogance and self exaltation.
The apostate church fosters an attitude of pride through the entitlement mentality called "health, wealth and prosperity" doctrine. This evil system is teaching people to focus on themselves while clamoring after worldly endeavors and prominence. When health, wealth and prosperity is the goal, there leaves little room for spiritual growth or proper godly relationships. How will we have the time to quietly reflect on our inner being when we are running after everything in the world we can possibly get our hands on?
May each one of us reflect on our own lives, comparing them with how Christ walked and what He valued. I think we will find that Christ was about relationships and self sacrifice for the sake of the brethren.
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