When these unregenerate people treat you with dismissiveness and contempt you need not allow it to destroy you. Of course this is the devil's goal, through the use of these people, even without their knowledge, he works to ruin the faith of believers, but we don't have to let him.
I converted to Catholicism at age 16 when I became engaged to my husband who was born and raised a Catholic. I learned a lot about the church.
I was raised in a Christian church but had no encouragement in the home to read the Bible. I lived with narcissistic parents, as a scapegoat child, regularly mocked and demeaned by people in the household. The point is that even though they went to church I didn't see the love of God there at all. I had a form of religion but depended on my emotions for everything.
I was looking for love in all the wrong places. My life was fraught with indulgence of happiness the way my unregenerate mind could think up. After I married my husband, I began to question what the church was teaching, I began reading the Bible and became born again. Ten years later my husband followed.
It was a very difficult ten years, his family was angry at me for questioning the Catholic beliefs. There was continual demeaning in many ways, mostly covertly so that others would not notice, because I had become a "Bible Thumper", in their minds, some even having said it to me. My husband was continually angry at me, thinking I had done something to them to make them angry, he was deeply connected to his family, even though he loved me, they came first. Every holiday had to be with them, there were times when I felt so alone in a house full of people.
I praise God today for all I went through, because it created in me a strength to be able to stand alone when there were no allies, not one person came along side me, but the One Who died for me did, and He is everything......the Lord Jesus Christ. Hallelujah! Since then I have met other strong believers who encouraged and uplifted me in prayer, they were a blessing to me.
And, my husband became born again, we have enjoyed a lovely marriage for many years now, getting better all the time. God can work miracles in us and in our marriages, but we have to give Him time, sometimes lots of it.
There have been those who have attempted to come between my husband and my self through the same tactics by narcissists called, "golden" and "scapegoat", elevating my husband while demeaning me, hoping to cause my husband to dislike me along with them.
Thankfully it hasn't worked, but some continue down that road anyway, those are the ones that must be removed from our lives. Never allow anyone in your marriage that will do anything to cause division between you and your spouse. Sometimes we are effected by their tactics even without realizing it.
Bailing out of marriages has not been the answer to our troubles. We can see how evil and destructive the culture has become. It is directly due to the self esteem doctrine that encourages people to refuse to endure anything that is uncomfortable, even if God tells us to remain.
There are times that God instructs us to remove ourselves from people, but not husbands or wives, unless there is physical abuse, as a protective measure. Physical abuse must be dealt with, it is against civil law and God's law. However, far too many marriages split because of two childish people who refuse to discuss matters or give up something to make things work. Most of all the marriages are splitting because someone is not seeking God for solutions. When even just one party is seeking God, the marriage can be strong.
As long as we indulge people to follow their "feelings" rather than act nobly to do what is proper and righteous, we are going to have spiritual babies having tantrums in relationships until they get their way.
Our messages to those in difficult situations in marriage ought to be that God can give them everything they need to endure. While encouraging them to pray for others to see their need for Christ. We have to be willing to wait as long as it takes.
We also need to understand that it is severe pressure that turns coal into a diamond. The pressure, contempt and demeaning we endure, while seeking Christ, brings great wisdom and strength, lean into that instead of running from it. Consider it as one considers going to a gym to become physically fit, we need to be Spiritually fit and the only way is through Spiritual workouts.
Romans 5:1-5 "5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
When we take our focus off of ourselves, we can see things for what they are and see them as a challenge rather than a devastation. Perhaps even able to see the humor in some of it.
It's alright to go to our rooms alone, crying out to God with tears over what we are encountering. Stay there on your knees, cry as hard as needed, then we when we have sought Him, we will be purged of feelings that debilitate us, having new hope. God sees our tears, they relieve the pressure of stress, it's a good thing, Christ Himself wept.
How will we ever be able to be faithful when faced with physical persecution, beheading, burning alive or any other torture we might have to encounter, if we have not been in the training camp. God can give us what we need when we need it for sure, everything we endure for Christ, will bring great Spiritual wisdom and does not last forever.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 "…17 And I set my mind to know wisdom and to know madness and folly; I realized that this also is striving after wind. 18 Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain."
If we can educate ourselves through the Word on what evil looks like, how it manifests itself and it's purpose, then we can look at it objectively without emotion, call it what it is and act appropriately according to God's principles. We will always grieve over sin around us, but it will not shake our faith or remove our wisdom. In fact the more wisdom we have the greater grief as the verse in Ecc. tells us.
Last thought: focus on the challenge not the people and their tactics. The challenge is to discern truth and learn the proper action to take, depending on Christ through it all, while praying for those who are in rebellion.
If our attitude is as it should be, then evil people have little affect on us. And, that is their goal, to torment us with their nonsense. Don't see the people in the evil acts, see the devil behind them. Remember you are not alone, ALL believers are enduring until Christ comes, every single one!
1 Peter 5:8 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
