Self Focused People are not Happy or Joyful

Self-focused people have greater levels of anxiety and depression. They are not problem solvers except in the sense that if they can get others to give them what they want, they count themselves as having won and resolved things. However, they really haven't solved anything; they only managed to manipulate others without concern for those they control. Problems are not solved they are orchestrated.

 
Life does not give us all that we want. Those who are Christ-focused are more adaptable to problem-solving and growing in character as they move through life. Their relationships are lasting with those who are like-minded to resolve problems.

Self-focused people often get what they want, but they are never happy or joyful because they do not develop quality relationships; they only pile up people they can control and intimidate. Relationships under this sort of coercion do not last and are even destroyed permanently. They are not predicated on mutual love and respect; they only survive as functional without emotional and spiritual connection. No love is required in a relationship based on functionality.

 
For a relationship to be of quality, it must include love, and love will promote resolution where both parties understand one another and defer to one another.

 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. 6 Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8Love never fails."

Galatians 5:22-23
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, / gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Ephesians 4:2
"with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,"

Colossians 3:12-14
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity."

It is impossible for someone who has the love of Christ to act in ways that are against their very nature, the nature of Christ.

 
Those who lack this fruit are not born again and will not have them until they repent and have the Holy Spirit living in them. Love is the first fruit of the Spirit; all the other qualities of the fruit flow from that love.