Saturday, December 9, 2017
When We Were Young Before We Met
My how things have changed, Rodger and I as children. Rodger was about six and I was four, raised in very different environments. When we married there was much to learn in creating our own environment, what a challenge that has been and filled with many lessons and blessings!
The Snow Fall of a Lifetime
The Dish it Out But Can't Take It
A Narcissist can dish out criticism but they can never take it. They can rage at their opponent but are even more enraged when they are corrected for raging.
The narcissists I have encountered declare loudly that we should never correct others, while in the process of correcting us for correcting others.
There is a dynamic in a conversation with a narcissist, that is constant contradiction.
Often we will see the narcissist accuse us of the very thing the narcissist is doing but we are not. It is a common ploy to take the focus off of their anger and delivery assigning to us their own attitude, it is a dead giveaway, and is called "projection."
Just as one would use a projector in the old days to project an image on the wall, so too does the manipulator attempt to deter our attention from themselves, causing doubt in their target by projecting onto us their own actions and attitudes.
After walking away from a narcissist who has just raged at you, you are left with the feeling that you started it all, when you remained calm, perplexed and confused about why the narcissist raged as they did. A few hours after the encounter you recall what you said and what they did and the rage didn't match the discussion at all, it seemed to come out of the blue without warning and not at all commensurate with anything that was happening.
Intimidation and control over those the narcissist does not respect is the tactic to cause doubt in the targets understanding about themselves. After all, if someone is raging at me, they must have a good reason and I must be a bad person.
The narcissist is only interested in one thing, that is to bring you down to uplift themselves. The narcissist is an empty soul, they cannot feel good about themselves merely because they are secure in who they are and what they believe, their entire existence is based on the accolades of others continually. This is why they cannot endure any form of correction or criticism, it shakes their confidence to the very core. The only cure in the narcissist's mind, is to prove the corrector is a bad person to discredit the criticism.
Narcissists love gossip, they love tidbits of scanty information, just enough to build a case against us without any real evidence or proof to justify their contempt for us. They must build a mountain out of a mole hill, sadly they feel justified in their tactics because a tiny smidgen of truth is hiding deeply in their mountain.
If anyone thinks this is only a modern day phenomena, take another think! Christ did amazing and wonderful things that the Pharisees were jealous of, they accused Him of doing the miracles through devils. Christ was doing nothing but good on earth all the time, while constantly being accused of wrong doing.
If we know that Christ and the apostles endured this abuse, we can be confident that it will happen to all believers who love God's Word and speak it boldly.
Hebrews 10:21-23 "…21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next. Truly I tell you, you will not reach all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.…"
Mark 13:12-13 "…12 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 13 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved."
Matthew 10:16-25
"16 “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.
17 Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues,
18 and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles.
19 When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour.
20 For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
21 Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death,
22 and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next, for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
24 “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household."
The narcissists I have encountered declare loudly that we should never correct others, while in the process of correcting us for correcting others.
There is a dynamic in a conversation with a narcissist, that is constant contradiction.
Often we will see the narcissist accuse us of the very thing the narcissist is doing but we are not. It is a common ploy to take the focus off of their anger and delivery assigning to us their own attitude, it is a dead giveaway, and is called "projection."
Just as one would use a projector in the old days to project an image on the wall, so too does the manipulator attempt to deter our attention from themselves, causing doubt in their target by projecting onto us their own actions and attitudes.
After walking away from a narcissist who has just raged at you, you are left with the feeling that you started it all, when you remained calm, perplexed and confused about why the narcissist raged as they did. A few hours after the encounter you recall what you said and what they did and the rage didn't match the discussion at all, it seemed to come out of the blue without warning and not at all commensurate with anything that was happening.
Intimidation and control over those the narcissist does not respect is the tactic to cause doubt in the targets understanding about themselves. After all, if someone is raging at me, they must have a good reason and I must be a bad person.
The narcissist is only interested in one thing, that is to bring you down to uplift themselves. The narcissist is an empty soul, they cannot feel good about themselves merely because they are secure in who they are and what they believe, their entire existence is based on the accolades of others continually. This is why they cannot endure any form of correction or criticism, it shakes their confidence to the very core. The only cure in the narcissist's mind, is to prove the corrector is a bad person to discredit the criticism.
Narcissists love gossip, they love tidbits of scanty information, just enough to build a case against us without any real evidence or proof to justify their contempt for us. They must build a mountain out of a mole hill, sadly they feel justified in their tactics because a tiny smidgen of truth is hiding deeply in their mountain.
If anyone thinks this is only a modern day phenomena, take another think! Christ did amazing and wonderful things that the Pharisees were jealous of, they accused Him of doing the miracles through devils. Christ was doing nothing but good on earth all the time, while constantly being accused of wrong doing.
If we know that Christ and the apostles endured this abuse, we can be confident that it will happen to all believers who love God's Word and speak it boldly.
Hebrews 10:21-23 "…21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next. Truly I tell you, you will not reach all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.…"
Mark 13:12-13 "…12 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 13 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved."
Matthew 10:16-25
"16 “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.
17 Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues,
18 and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles.
19 When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour.
20 For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
21 Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death,
22 and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
23 When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next, for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
24 “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household."
Flimsy Love Based on Happiness
Modern day love is based not on Scripture, which helps people grow in greater holiness, but rather it is based on making people "feel happy." It has little value other than helping people remain as they are, even in their sin. The love of God is more concerned about loving Him and His truth that it is about being liked by those who have no desire to obey God.
Often those who accuse believers of being mean spirited are those who have little interest in obeying the Word of God. They love their "happiness" more than they love God.
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