Thursday, October 23, 2025
Oppression and Rudeness Have No Place in a Christian Marriage
Those men and women who are using the passage in Genesis that the woman will be dominated by her husband, "she will try to lord it over him and he will do the same to her", was a condition of the fall. It was not so before the fall and should not be in a Christian marriage.
Genesis 3:16 ""16 To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you shall deliver children;
Yet your desire (to rule over him) will be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
In other words, more accurately, according to the original language, the woman will try to rule over her husband, but he will rule over her, which makes perfect sense. We see this in our world today among non-believers who do not have Christ to remove the stain of the fall from their lives.
Born-again believers should not live like this; they have been snatched from the punishment of the fall and have been given the mandate to love one another. Domination and control are not love and do not belong in a Christian marriage.
God gave the woman the task of managing the home; she does not need her husband's permission to do that job. That job was given to her by God. Her husband has been given the task of providing for the family and does not need the permission of his wife to do that job.
However, a couple made one by God in marriage have roles given to the wife differing from the man's role that complete the relationship when working together.
A woman considers her husband as she does her job, and the man considers the woman as he carries out his role. No one dictates to the other, but they do consult with one another to come to an agreement that is best for the family.
There is no micro-managing, and there is discussion when a major decision that impacts the entire family must be made. Nothing should be done without both spouses agreeing when a major decision has to be made.
No one has to fear this model from scripture when they are both consulting God for the answer.
The husband is to consider the wife, and the wife is to support the husband when he has consulted with God and is convinced he is doing what God is telling him. The wife's heart should be at peace when the husband makes a decision from God; God will give her the peace she needs, even if she is uncertain of the decision.
Anyone who treats their wife disrespectfully, using the Genesis passage as an excuse, is walking disobediently and must repent.
Ephesians 5:22-33 "22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are parts of His body.
31 For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
32 This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."
In summary, the husband must lead by example and teaching, in a way that loves and protects the wife, and the wife is to treat her husband with respect. When both do as they should, the children will respect both the mother and the father equally.
May those who are teaching oppression of any sort in marriage repent from bringing false doctrine that destroys relationships and families.
Genesis 3:16 ""16 To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you shall deliver children;
Yet your desire (to rule over him) will be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
In other words, more accurately, according to the original language, the woman will try to rule over her husband, but he will rule over her, which makes perfect sense. We see this in our world today among non-believers who do not have Christ to remove the stain of the fall from their lives.
Born-again believers should not live like this; they have been snatched from the punishment of the fall and have been given the mandate to love one another. Domination and control are not love and do not belong in a Christian marriage.
God gave the woman the task of managing the home; she does not need her husband's permission to do that job. That job was given to her by God. Her husband has been given the task of providing for the family and does not need the permission of his wife to do that job.
However, a couple made one by God in marriage have roles given to the wife differing from the man's role that complete the relationship when working together.
A woman considers her husband as she does her job, and the man considers the woman as he carries out his role. No one dictates to the other, but they do consult with one another to come to an agreement that is best for the family.
There is no micro-managing, and there is discussion when a major decision that impacts the entire family must be made. Nothing should be done without both spouses agreeing when a major decision has to be made.
No one has to fear this model from scripture when they are both consulting God for the answer.
The husband is to consider the wife, and the wife is to support the husband when he has consulted with God and is convinced he is doing what God is telling him. The wife's heart should be at peace when the husband makes a decision from God; God will give her the peace she needs, even if she is uncertain of the decision.
Anyone who treats their wife disrespectfully, using the Genesis passage as an excuse, is walking disobediently and must repent.
Ephesians 5:22-33 "22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are parts of His body.
31 For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
32 This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."
In summary, the husband must lead by example and teaching, in a way that loves and protects the wife, and the wife is to treat her husband with respect. When both do as they should, the children will respect both the mother and the father equally.
May those who are teaching oppression of any sort in marriage repent from bringing false doctrine that destroys relationships and families.
Forgiveness and Repentance
Forgiveness is only for those who repent. Repenting will bring sorrow for harming someone else and a change of behavior. It allows the offender to grow while restoring a relationship. Without repentance, nothing changes, and the harm persists.
Luke 17:3-5 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!"
No one has greater character by forgiving those who are offensive. No one mends a relationship by forgiving those who refuse to be sorry enough to change their behavior. There is nothing noble in forgiving differently than God forgives.
No one becomes bitter because a rebellious offender will not be sorry and they must withhold forgiveness. We pray for the offender, and according to God's word, we remove ourselves so the stubborn offender will not influence our own character.
Psychology says to forgive so you won't be bitter, but God says not to forgive so that you are not tempted to become like the offender. Psychology often works against God's word because it was developed by men who observed behavior but came to their own conclusions about the cure.
Psychology does get it right about what evil mankind does, but it does not get the answers to the problem correctly. The problem is sin, and the reason is rejection of Christ.
God's ways often fly in the face of the culture around us. This is the reason those who love Christ and seek to obey His word are rejected by the culture, their communities, and their families.
When we are steeped every day in the word of God, the ways of the world become glaringly absent of good sense.
Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you."
How has God forgiven the born-again believer? This way;
1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".
Repentance will bring about a change of heart; it demonstrates a sadness at having harmed someone and a desire for God to change their character.
Isaiah 55:7 "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon."
Our relationship with God cannot be restored without repentance, and our relationship with others cannot be restored without confession of sin.
Psychology has perverted the way in which relationships are restored, leaving many people demanding to be forgiven when they are never contrite with a broken heart, deeply sorrowful over their offenses.
It is only sorrow for sin that brings about a changed character and actions. Christ will not cleanse those who don't think they need cleansing.
1 John 1:8-10 "…8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar, and His word is not in us."
Luke 17:3-5 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!"
No one has greater character by forgiving those who are offensive. No one mends a relationship by forgiving those who refuse to be sorry enough to change their behavior. There is nothing noble in forgiving differently than God forgives.
No one becomes bitter because a rebellious offender will not be sorry and they must withhold forgiveness. We pray for the offender, and according to God's word, we remove ourselves so the stubborn offender will not influence our own character.
Psychology says to forgive so you won't be bitter, but God says not to forgive so that you are not tempted to become like the offender. Psychology often works against God's word because it was developed by men who observed behavior but came to their own conclusions about the cure.
Psychology does get it right about what evil mankind does, but it does not get the answers to the problem correctly. The problem is sin, and the reason is rejection of Christ.
God's ways often fly in the face of the culture around us. This is the reason those who love Christ and seek to obey His word are rejected by the culture, their communities, and their families.
When we are steeped every day in the word of God, the ways of the world become glaringly absent of good sense.
Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you."
How has God forgiven the born-again believer? This way;
1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".
Repentance will bring about a change of heart; it demonstrates a sadness at having harmed someone and a desire for God to change their character.
Isaiah 55:7 "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon."
Our relationship with God cannot be restored without repentance, and our relationship with others cannot be restored without confession of sin.
Psychology has perverted the way in which relationships are restored, leaving many people demanding to be forgiven when they are never contrite with a broken heart, deeply sorrowful over their offenses.
It is only sorrow for sin that brings about a changed character and actions. Christ will not cleanse those who don't think they need cleansing.
1 John 1:8-10 "…8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar, and His word is not in us."
Israel Remains the Wife of God the Father!
Isaiah 54:3-5 "…3 For you will spread out to the right and left; your descendants will dispossess the nations and inhabit the desolate cities. 4 Do not be afraid, for you will not be put to shame; do not be intimidated, for you will not be humiliated. For you will forget the shame of your youth and will remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. 5 For your husband is your Maker—the LORD of Hosts is His name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth.…"
Israel is the wife of God the Father, and the Church is the Bride of Christ. It is clear in God's Word that God is not finished with Israel, just the opposite, He is pursuing her especially in these last days and in the tribulation. Two-thirds of the people of Israel will perish in the tribulation, and the one-third that does not will trust in Christ. There will be 144,000 who will go into the rest of the world and preach the gospel during the tribulation.
The church has been grafted into Israel, not the other way around.
Isaiah 43:1 "But now, this is what the LORD says—He who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine!"
This is a prophecy yet to be fulfilled and it is moving quickly to this end.
Romans 11:11-6 "Israel Has Not Been Rejected
11 I say then, God has not rejected His people, has He? Far from it! For I too am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham, of the tribe of Benjamin.
2 God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. Or do you not know what the Scripture says in the passage about Elijah, how he pleads with God against Israel?
3 “Lord, they have killed Your prophets, they have torn down Your altars, and I alone am left, and they are seeking my life.”
4 But what is the divine response to him? “I have kept for Myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal.”
5 In the same way then, there has also come to be at the present time a remnant according to God’s gracious choice.
6 But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, since otherwise grace is no longer grace."
Israel is the wife of God the Father, and the Church is the Bride of Christ. It is clear in God's Word that God is not finished with Israel, just the opposite, He is pursuing her especially in these last days and in the tribulation. Two-thirds of the people of Israel will perish in the tribulation, and the one-third that does not will trust in Christ. There will be 144,000 who will go into the rest of the world and preach the gospel during the tribulation.
The church has been grafted into Israel, not the other way around.
Isaiah 43:1 "But now, this is what the LORD says—He who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine!"
This is a prophecy yet to be fulfilled and it is moving quickly to this end.
Romans 11:11-6 "Israel Has Not Been Rejected
11 I say then, God has not rejected His people, has He? Far from it! For I too am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham, of the tribe of Benjamin.
2 God has not rejected His people whom He foreknew. Or do you not know what the Scripture says in the passage about Elijah, how he pleads with God against Israel?
3 “Lord, they have killed Your prophets, they have torn down Your altars, and I alone am left, and they are seeking my life.”
4 But what is the divine response to him? “I have kept for Myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal.”
5 In the same way then, there has also come to be at the present time a remnant according to God’s gracious choice.
6 But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, since otherwise grace is no longer grace."
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