Oppression and Rudeness Have No Place in a Christian Marriage

Those men and women who are using the passage in Genesis that the woman will be dominated by her husband, "she will try to lord it over him and he will do the same to her", was a condition of the fall. It was not so before the fall and should not be in a Christian marriage.

Genesis 3:16 ""16 To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you shall deliver children;
Yet your desire (to rule over him) will be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”

In other words, more accurately, according to the original language, the woman will try to rule over her husband, but he will rule over her, which makes perfect sense. We see this in our world today among non-believers who do not have Christ to remove the stain of the fall from their lives.

Born-again believers should not live like this; they have been snatched from the punishment of the fall and have been given the mandate to love one another. Domination and control are not love and do not belong in a Christian marriage.

God gave the woman the task of managing the home; she does not need her husband's permission to do that job. That job was given to her by God. Her husband has been given the task of providing for the family and does not need the permission of his wife to do that job.

However, a couple made one by God in marriage have roles given to the wife differing from the man's role that complete the relationship when working together.

A woman considers her husband as she does her job, and the man considers the woman as he carries out his role. No one dictates to the other, but they do consult with one another to come to an agreement that is best for the family.

There is no micro-managing, and there is discussion when a major decision that impacts the entire family must be made. Nothing should be done without both spouses agreeing when a major decision has to be made.

No one has to fear this model from scripture when they are both consulting God for the answer.

The husband is to consider the wife, and the wife is to support the husband when he has consulted with God and is convinced he is doing what God is telling him. The wife's heart should be at peace when the husband makes a decision from God; God will give her the peace she needs, even if she is uncertain of the decision.

Anyone who treats their wife disrespectfully, using the Genesis passage as an excuse, is walking disobediently and must repent.

Ephesians 5:22-33 "22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are parts of His body.
31 For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
32 This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."

In summary, the husband must lead by example and teaching, in a way that loves and protects the wife, and the wife is to treat her husband with respect. When both do as they should, the children will respect both the mother and the father equally.

May those who are teaching oppression of any sort in marriage repent from bringing false doctrine that destroys relationships and families.