When two people commit to one another in a covenant marriage, God makes them one and no man can undo that, it is a permanent union until death.
Mark 10:9 "9 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Our English versions of the Bible are not clear enough to help us, we have to go back to the original languages for the understanding.
In the book of Matthew many people say one can get a divorce for adultery, but that book was written to Jews who had the custom of a divorce certificate from the engagement, also called a betrothal, if the one of the parties had been unfaithful before the marriage. There was never any indication that one could divorce for adultery when there was a marriage. In the Jewish custom, the man and woman were called husband and wife even before they had been formally married or lived together.
Joseph said that he was going to "divorce Mary" because he thought she had been unfaithful, but instead decided to put her away quietly to spare her the cultural consequences for fornication. Joseph and Mary were not yet married, but they called one another husband and wife because the promise to marry was nearly as binding as the marriage in Jewish custom, except for unfaithfulness before the marriage.
Matthew 19:9 "And I say to you, whoever [a]divorces his wife, except for [b]immorality, and marries another woman [c]commits adultery.”
In the other three gospels, there is no such "exception clause" because those books were written to Gentiles who didn't have the custom of divorce for fornication in the betrothal or engagement period, so there was no need to address it.
This is why Christ said, if you divorce you are sinning, but if you do you must remain single. Why? Because according to Matthew, the only two options for a divorced person is to remain alone or be reconciled to the original covenant spouse.
Matthew 5:32 "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication ( before marriage), causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
1 Corinthians 7:11 "(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife."
Anyone who marries a divorced person is committing adultery and anyone who is divorced and remarries is committing adultery.
Our culture cannot wrap their minds around this because we have been free for so long to divorce, that our culture thinks it is a right and perfectly acceptable.
Marriage is a picture of the salvation experience. When God takes us as His bride it is permanent, we are sealed with His Holy Spirit. God never throws us away no matter what we do, even though He will discipline us for sin to cleanse us, we remain His bride until He takes us home.
When we see the picture of salvation and the marriage relationship in this way, we can never think of divorcing. God is faithful to us when we are not always faithful to Him. No one has been completely faithful in terms of adultery, since we have all had impure and selfish thoughts and our Lord told us that if we even so much as have a lustful thought, we have committed the sin of adultery. In the eyes of God our thought is the same as the act. The consequences are often bigger for the act than the thought, but the sin is the same.
2 Timothy 2:13 "If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself."
The first marriage is sealed by God in a covenant relationship until one partner dies, any marriages after divorce are adultery. It is really very simple, but our culture is confused, through willful ignorance in most cases, because it has been taught for many years now that there are excuses to divorce. Not that long ago all church goers knew divorce and remarriage were sins, there was never any question about it. The churches have been teaching false doctrine on this and even practicing divorce and remarriage, to such an extent that leaders in the church are marrying divorced and remarried people while indulging in the sin themselves.
Also, in the original language, "commits adultery" means an ongoing state of adultery as long as the two remarried people remain together. The adultery only stops when the relationship stops. Most people refuse to accept this fact.
John 6:60 "Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is a hard saying; who can hear it?"
When Christ said these things to the disciples, they too were astonished at it, since the same problem existed in their day.
Our churches are full of people who are remarried, committing adultery while no one stands against it. That's the reason so many people are divorcing and remarrying, they have been accepted as full fledged members of churches while even the pastors are doing it themselves and even marrying those who are divorced to other divorced people.
What an incredible mess the society and the church is in and almost no one will listen. How can church leaders teach commitment to a spouse for life when they are supporting the sin of adultery in their own congregations.
2 Timothy 4:3 "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;"
What was commonly accepted as sin under the rule of the Bible, only a generation ago, is now embraced as normal reasonable activity. Those who practice this sin are accepted and those who speak out against it are punished in various ways, not the least of which is rejection by friends, family and church.
God said that in the last days, evil would be, not only tolerated but approved and recommended by nearly everyone.
When we tolerate and embrace the sins of divorce and remarriage we are negating the notion that when Christ saves us it is permanent salvation not based on our deeds, but on His sacrifice on the cross.
When we marry, we promise to stay together through sickness and in health, in other words through it all, through mental or physical illness as well as the good times.
Wouldn't it be better for us to teach what Christ taught to the youth, so that they will not be devastated by the splitting of their families, that their children will have two parents in the same household, who love each other?
Wouldn't it be better for our children to see us staying together no matter what the trial, praying together while trusting God to help us? Children learn by example, when they see parents acting like spoiled children in marriage, demanding their own way and throwing away spouses, they will learn what to do when it becomes their turn to marry.
OR, we can train our children by our example, to tough it out in the trials of life, hang in there watching God work it all out while everyone involved remain loyal, becoming stronger and more mature with each new victory.
The problem with our culture is that we want a "fast food" fix for everything, we are not willing to go through hard times to come out the other side victoriously. We don't see the victories because we don't fight the battles we just bail out. The battles are fought on our knees and in our hearts, not in the courts.
In our culture we like to take only the good and throw away the negative, as though we deserve to have only good, when we cannot even live up to "only good."
How arrogant can we be, to think that we don't have any warts that others have to endure or accept! When we toss out spouses because they do bad things, we are acting as though we are above all bad ourselves and have nothing to confess or from which to be cleansed.
Perhaps it is time to stop wallowing in self pity, like spoiled children over the failings of our spouses and begin to attempt to understand things from their point of view. Perhaps if we saw ourselves through their eyes and evaluate our own actions according to God's standard, we would not be so quick to throw away people simply because they don't meet our personal needs or desires.
Many broken relationships could be avoided if we would just learn to think of others and what is best for them more than we think about ourselves.
James 4:1-2 "1 What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask.…"
When we keep our eyes focused on God, reading His Word while praying for understanding, then we will be able to do what God has commanded in His Word. God did not make suggestions as though He isn't sure the right thing to do and man must help Him decide, He gave commands because He knows what is best, what works and what spares mankind all the troubles they bring on themselves by their willfulness.
