Monday, May 6, 2024
Validation from God is all We Need
Often people will not make sense while intimidating us to be silent because they don't like the message.
I once corrected a man who was being rude constantly, to appear superior to others. I told him he was rude and that as a Christian he shouldn't act like that.
He told another woman what I had said to him and she came to me and told me I should not tell people they are wrong while she was telling me I was wrong for telling someone else they were wrong.
As born-again believers, we ought to be able to see the truth about someone or about something someone does regardless of the relationship status. Corrections should make relationships closer and deeper if both parties are humble and honest with one another.
Proverbs 27:5-7
…5 Better an open rebuke than love that is concealed. 6 The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 7 The soul that is full loathes honey, but to a hungry soul, any bitter thing is sweet."
Many people in these days of hyper-sensitivity to correction see correction as a personal attack instead of love that hopes to cause a change in behavior which deepens realtionships and is better for everyone.
It takes humility and maturity to be able to receive a correction without feeling anger. If someone corrects us and they are right we ought to be grateful for the love they showed us. Unless of course they are angry people who just want to intimidate us in a power struggle. In the Holy Spirit, we will discern which is which.
However, if someone corrects us and are wrong or in a power struggle, then we have no need to be angry because we know it isn't true. It doesn't matter what they think it only matters what is true. God sees it all, that's all we need to remain calm.
It is human nature to want people to think well of us, this is what causes the rage that emerges from those who are insecure allowing their feelings to rule the day. People who are self-absorbed are immature, they don't have adult maturity to be able to handle disagreement. They interpret interactions either good or bad based on how they feel, not based on the information discussed.
Immature people will see disapproval as an attack and acceptance as worship. There is no rationality to their response because it is according to "feelings" and not facts and they love to be worshiped and validated by others.
As born-again believers, we should become so strong in the Lord that we do not need validation from others to do what is right. When we need to be validated by others it will cause hurt and anger when we don't get what we want from them.
Proverbs 29:25-26 "25The fear of man is a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is set securely on high. 26 Many seek the ruler’s favor, but a man receives justice from the LORD."
We Don't Spank Adults Who Act Like Bratty Children, We Avoid Them
I know lots of narcissists who act phony all the time, they are all in the family system I grew up in it, as though they were trained to be like this by example.
Everyone deals with trials differently. Some choose to be mean out of anger toward others, a sort of blaming others for their pain. While other people resolve not to be like those who hurt them and want to act kindly the way they wish they had been treated.
It's all a choice, we are all hurt at one time or another, the narcissist chooses to be mean and vengeful, yes it is a choice. Those who are kind and loving choose to defy the way they were raised, this makes the narcissists in the family resent them and in their anger, they gossip lies to make the decent person look like they were the bad ones.
Narcissists are not people who think for themselves. They model the actions of others to be accepted by them. the one who wants to be different is targeted so that perhaps with enough rudeness leveled against them they too will react the same way, allowing the narcissist to feel justified in their own ill-mannered insolent mentality.
If the narcissist can polk at their target long enough to cause them to blow up in anger they feel they have proved that the target is as bad as they are, vindicating themselves of their own disagreeable nasty character. Just like the devil in the garden with Eve, his desire was to make God reject her the way He rejected the devil.
The victory comes when the born-again Christian realizes what the devil is doing through the narcissist and feels at ease not responding to the attacks. Christ is our advocate we do not need for the narcissist to validate us, in fact I would worry if the narcissist did validate us that would mean that I am just like them.
When we know the truth about the worldly narcissist we can remain silent and avoid them so that they can have no effect on our character.
1 Corinthians 15:33
"33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
2 Timothy 3:1-5
Difficult Times Will Come
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult (ragingly insane) times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
We have to be at the point at which we don't care what others think of us as long as we are approved by Christ. We may even see the humor in the foolishness of the antics of those who are controlled by the devil. It is so utterly ridiculous it is not worthy of self defense.
2 Timothy 4:3
"For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires."
Are we offended when a small child is angry at us? NO, we see that the child is acting out but it is not personal, it is manipulative, we may even laugh at how silly it is right before we spank them for it.
We don't spank adults who act like bratty six-year olds we leave their discipline to God but we do avoid them. 2 Timothy 3:5
Christ Changes the Heart
Since we do not change our own hearts Christ gets all the credit for who we have become when He saves us! We only change our mind He does all the work in us!
Ephesians 2:9-10 "…9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life."
James 1:5-6
"5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind."
It is wisdom in the heart that leads to right actions. No one can be different on the outside than what is in their hearts.
When we fail in our heart, then is when we fail in our actions, attitudes and responses. If we show an angry heart then we have an angry character that Christ needs to cleanse. He will only cleanse us if we admit our problem and ask Him to change our hearts.
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
A very important phrase in this passage is "if we confess", Christ will never force us into anything, but He will bring circumstances to bear so that He breaks our will, we give up our stubborn pride and decide to confess.
Those who think they can intimidate, mock and demean someone into changing do not understand the ways of Christ. He wants us to choose because we are ready not because someone shamed us into it for an outward confession that is not an inward desire.
1 John 1:5-10 "5And this is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you: God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.
6 If we say we have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.
7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we say we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar, and His word is not in us."
It is not possible to have fellowship with Christ or any other Christian as long as we harbor dishonesty, disrespect for God's Word and resistance to His principles.
There are believers who do not have fellowship with Christ and other Christians because they resist the Holy Spirit when He speaks causing the Holy Spirit to go silent. God will not speak to someone who will not listen. But beware, He will bring about corrective circumstances to break a stubborn will if someone is born again but harbors pride in their heart.
1 Thessalonians 5:19-22
"19 Do not quench (extinguish the fire of) the Spirit,
20 do not utterly reject prophecies (divinely inspired Word of God), 21 but examine everything; hold firmly to that which is good,
22 abstain from every form of evil."
The Worldly Person is Threatened by the One Who Walks with Christ
Amen!!! Love is not a feeling, its at state of being. Believers who have been changed into a new creation have the love of Christ. This is why we see the fruit of Christ's Spirit in them.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Ecclesiastes 7:8
"The end of a matter is better than the beginning, and a patient spirit is better than a proud one."
A proud spirit hates a humble one. A proud spirit is angry all the time at the righteous heart.
1 Corinthians 2:14
"The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned."
The natural man interprets the righteous man as a threat to them.
The natural man wants no restraints on them to act decently, so they attempt to lie against the one who walks uprightly, discrediting their wisdom and resolve to follow Christ through lies and distortions.
The natural man loves the things of this world and feels threatened by those who do not want or need the things of the world.
The natural man needs to be validated and accepted by the world and is intimidated by those who need no validation or acceptance from the world because Christ in them is enough.
If the natural man would become born again they too would understand the things of God and hate the world.
John 12:24-26 "… 24 Truly, truly, I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a seed; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Whoever loves his life will lose it, but whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If Anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, My servant will be as well. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.…"
The Religious Leaders of Yesterday and the Religious Leaders of Today Have Some Things in Common
It was the religious leaders of Christ's day who came against Christ. They led the people as mediators for God but rejected Christ.
Somewhat like our "religious" leaders today with all their man-made criteria for church gatherings and their educated-by man, mentality where the only ones accepted as worthy teachers are those who have been in seminaries indoctrinated by people who are often unsaved themselves. Do not be fearful of the leaders who use intimidation and manipulation to control the people under them. No one should control us except the Holy Spirit.
God made it clear that leaders are to lead by their own example and by teaching, they have no authority over the born-again believer. The Holy Spirit lives in every believer, if the leader had authority over someone with the Holy Spirit this would make them above the Holy Spirit.
Matthew 23:12-36 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
13 “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people's faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.
15 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
16 “Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it is nothing, but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’
17 You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that has made the gold sacred?
18 And you say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it is nothing, but if anyone swears by the gift that is on the altar, he is bound by his oath.’
19 You blind men! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred?
20 So whoever swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it.
21 And whoever swears by the temple swears by it and by him who dwells in it.
22 And whoever swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by him who sits upon it.
23 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.
24 You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!
25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.
26 You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.
27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness.
28 So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
29 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you build the tombs of the prophets and decorate the monuments of the righteous,
30 saying, ‘If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ 31 Thus you witness against yourselves that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets.
32 Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers.
33 You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?
34 Therefore I send you prophets and wise men and scribes, some of whom you will kill and crucify, and some you will flog in your synagogues and persecute from town to town,
35 so that on you may come all the righteous blood shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah the son of Barachiah, whom you murdered between the sanctuary and the altar. 36 Truly, I say to you, all these things will come upon this generation."
The leaders of our churches today do not physically attack authentic believers but they try to control them in other ways, spiritually and emotionally demeaning those who bring the truth. They have anger and hatred in their hearts for anyone who will correct their wrong doctrine. We know this because of the shameful way they treat those who call them out for their sin of pride and elevation of self above God.
Hebrews 3:13-14 " 13 But exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. 14 We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly to the end the assurance we had at first.…"
Every born-again believer has the Authority of the Holy Spirit in them to be able to correct and admonish any other believer no matter what their status.
Women are not to be the teachers and leaders in the church gathering where men are present but they are free to speak to unbelievers about Christ, to teach in gatherings of unbelievers in evangelism, and to lead women and children to the Lord and in truth.
Those who attempt to silence women outside the church gathering are quenching the Holy Spirit. All born-again believers have a calling and all are indwelt with the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 3:28-29
"28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise."
Women are to obey Christ in the matter of silence within the gathering of believers. It is not that they are less intelligent or to be demeaned, it is merely the order God gave for the gathering. It is more of a protective stance for the woman than an oppressive one.
Proverbs 6:20-7:27
"My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress."
Men and women have different roles, when each one carries out their role as given by God, things work smoothly and flawlessly. When men take God's word and attempt to bring oppression because of the role just because they are bigger and stronger, then they are abusing the principles of Christ.
Women are to be cherished, treated with gentility and respected for their roles given to them by God. Does it make sense to demean a woman for her role when that role was given to her by God? Those who elevate one role over another are acting in pride not love and humility.
The woman's role is not higher than the man and the man's role is not higher than the woman, they are just different but equal in their status before God.
1 Peter 3:7
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
Men are to honor their wife as someone to be protected. This is true in the church too, men should honor women as delicate vessels to be protected.
Proverbs 31:28 "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her."
If the men in the church and the husband at home do not treat women respectfully then the children will not respect them either. Children have a natural tendency to follow a man more than a woman. This is the natural away of life in our humanity.
This is why it is so important that the husband and the leaders teach respect and honor for the women.
Anyone my age remembers the day when a man stood up when a woman entered the room and why the man gave his seat to the woman if there were no other seats. I remember when the man helped a woman with her chair when she sat down, when he removed his hat when a woman approached and he opened doors for her. These were acts of honor to help someone who is the weaker vessel.
Now the women have become harsh wanting to be a man instead of enjoying how God made them. Because of this, the men have reverted to primal responses treating women without respect. The men no longer respect the woman's frailties, in fact, the men expect the woman to do what the men do and the women want it this way. Honor is gone for the women and the men have given into it.
When someone begins treating others as lesser than they, it becomes an overall trend because the heart of man desires to be superior to others just like the devil desires to be superior to God.
The godly men I have met never treated women disrespectfully, they were humble and kind, it is only those who are self-indulged who desire to act superior and dominant. The Pharisees were of this type, wanting to be given priority over everyone else to feel special. They were rude and mean to those under them in order to control others.
Matthew 23:4-6 "…4 They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. 5 All their deeds are done for men to see. They broaden their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. 6 They love the places of honor at banquets, the chief seats in the synagogues,…"
The Pharisees of old are much like the leaders of our day, they love to be treated with respect but give no one else respect.
I write these things not to upset anyone but to help us see what has happened to the genders and encourage each of us to walk in the Spirit instead of our sinful flesh.
We do not have to become like this, if we are like this we can destroy the work of the devil in our hearts by seeking Christ to root out of us any remnant of our culture that condones prideful superiority.
I praise God for what He has shown me. He did not tell me to fight against it, not at all, He told me to become more like Him so that He will deal with my frailties and feelings orientation within my heart so that they do not become actions. We all battle these things because we are bombarded on all sides every day with wrong attitudes in the culture. The more we see it the more likely we are to become what we see. This is why we must fight it in the Spirit of Christ so that the devil will not have the victory over us, destroying what God began in us.
Philippians 1:6
"6 For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Christ Jesus."
1 Corinthians 1:6-8
"6 just as the testimony concerning Christ was confirmed in you,
7 so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you eagerly await the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ,
8 who will also confirm you to the end, blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ."
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