One of the tactics of a narcissist is to pretend to be a helper and giver, while all the time doing their good deeds to manipulate others. Their goal is not to bless someone, but to control them.
Anyone can say anything, words have little value, even negative value when they are expressed without any actions as proof of what is being said.
"Actions speak louder than words" because much of the hurt that people feel has more to do with an attitude displayed toward others than what they actually say.
James 2:14-16 "14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,
16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?"
It is important that we pray for the Lord to put His love in our hearts, so that when we do speak the words will be fleshed out in how we act. If our good deeds are not guided by the Holy Spirit, they become nothing more than sources of pride.
When we do things to honor God, we never have to remember what we did, there are no strings attached, no records kept, no expectations except the hope of blessing someone else.
We do not give to get from God, but we will receive the joy of having honored Him, even if there is no other earthly treasure that comes.
Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
Acts 20:35 "In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
Matthew 6:1-34 "“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. ..."
I once heard a preachers say, "if you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said."
It is also true of giving, if we expect nothing in return, we never have to remember what we gave.
There is nothing more burdensome than receiving a gift that has strings or expectations attached, it is better not to receive it, than to be placed in bondage about what we do with it.
I was once given a chair by an elderly lady. When she gave me the chair, she made it clear that I was not to paint it, recover it or do anything to it because she liked it just like it was. She knew that I am someone who is always fixing up things. That chair was a burden from the first day I got it, I worried about forgetting the command not to do anything to the chair. I don't have a great memory sometimes I forget things especially if I have had them a long time.
One day this lady came over, during her visit she reminded me that I should never do anything to that chair. It was then I realized that this was going to be a source of manipulation and control over me, so I politely told her that my memory was bad, I didn't want to hurt her feelings by forgetting and doing something to the chair, that I would have to return it to her. She was surprised, but not angry, she took the chair back and the burden of it walked out the door with her as she left with it.
A gift with attachments or expectations is not a gift at all. I tried to teach my children that if they give a gift, they should never care what happens to it after that, if there is an expectation as to what is done with it, then it was never a gift but rather a loan that would continually be monitored and burdensome.
I am thankful for all the lessons in the Word that lift our burdens while cleansing our attitudes. The less we hang on to emotionally in this world, the freer our spirits. Nothing in this world should hold us in bondage.
1 John 2:15 "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Leave the Past in the Past
Anyone who hates us because of past sins, are usually arrogant and have sins of their own that still remain.
Why wouldn't anyone get excited about the change in someone? Because they enjoy disliking you, they may even be jealous that you are making wonderful changes, they prefer to have disparaging thought about you.
It is obvious that those who want to believe things about us that are clearly in the past, are people who enjoyed our failures when they were happening, and desire to see us that way still, when none of it exists any more.
I have known people who had monstrous sins in their life before they became believers in Christ. When they trusted Christ and were completely changed, I was excited and blessed that it happened, even desiring to become friends with them because of the new connection we now had in Christ.
When we meet someone who wants to hold past sins against others, it is a sure sign we are dealing with a wicked person who loves the pain and failures of others in order to bolster their own self importance. It is only arrogance that motivates someone to enjoy demeaning one who has moved on to better things. It is also this same arrogance that leads these self proclaimed judges to feel superior to those they wish to punish indefinitely.
When we see this happening, judging others on the basis of past failures that do not exist anymore, we can be sure those people will never be an asset to our spiritual growth, nor will they be a positive part of our lives.
Sadly there are more of these people in the world than there are godly ones who rejoice at victory over sin. The best course of action is to remove ourselves to continue to move forward in the Lord.
There was a saying on the news feed once that I thought fit this discussion, it goes like this;
"One night I prayed to God, I asked could he please remove my enemies from my life, and before you knew it I started losing friends." Meek Mill
Our desire ought to be to surround ourselves with those who love the Lord, those who are not concerned about the past but love seeing the Lord work in their friends lives.
It is far better to be alone with the Lord than to be surrounded by people who love to judge us according to the past or based on their prejudices against us rather than real evidence. Those who would rather believe evil about us than have a conversation with us to find the truth, are attempting to keep us in a "one down" position for their own personal elevated status. These are not our friends, they are not an asset to our Christian walk, nor will they ever desire the best in the Lord for us.
Wicked men love to covertly hide their sin, cloaking it in pretense of concern, when really their desire is to ruin their target. Those who hide, keeping secrets, do it because they are up to no good, they have no good in mind for those they hate. Hiding, refusing to discuss something openly is a sure sign the hider has an attitude he doesn't want anyone else to see.
Proverbs 6:12-16 "A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:"
Ecclesiastes 12:14 "For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil."
Psalm 5:4 "For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you."
Psalm 34:21 "Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned."
Micah 2:1 "Woe to those who devise wickedness and work evil on their beds! When the morning dawns, they perform it, because it is in the power of their hand."
The state of man without God is always bent toward selfishness and evil.
Romans 3:10-18
10 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;
11 no one understands; no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good, not even one.”
13 “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”
14 “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
15 “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16 in their paths are ruin and misery,
17 and the way of peace they have not known.”
18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”
Because we are living in the end times, we are going to see the unsaved come against believers more intensely than we have ever seen in our past. They will not want to admit that God has worked in our live, it convicts them of their own sin.
Remember:
Proverbs 28:1 "28 The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion."
Why wouldn't anyone get excited about the change in someone? Because they enjoy disliking you, they may even be jealous that you are making wonderful changes, they prefer to have disparaging thought about you.
It is obvious that those who want to believe things about us that are clearly in the past, are people who enjoyed our failures when they were happening, and desire to see us that way still, when none of it exists any more.
I have known people who had monstrous sins in their life before they became believers in Christ. When they trusted Christ and were completely changed, I was excited and blessed that it happened, even desiring to become friends with them because of the new connection we now had in Christ.
When we meet someone who wants to hold past sins against others, it is a sure sign we are dealing with a wicked person who loves the pain and failures of others in order to bolster their own self importance. It is only arrogance that motivates someone to enjoy demeaning one who has moved on to better things. It is also this same arrogance that leads these self proclaimed judges to feel superior to those they wish to punish indefinitely.
When we see this happening, judging others on the basis of past failures that do not exist anymore, we can be sure those people will never be an asset to our spiritual growth, nor will they be a positive part of our lives.
Sadly there are more of these people in the world than there are godly ones who rejoice at victory over sin. The best course of action is to remove ourselves to continue to move forward in the Lord.
There was a saying on the news feed once that I thought fit this discussion, it goes like this;
"One night I prayed to God, I asked could he please remove my enemies from my life, and before you knew it I started losing friends." Meek Mill
Our desire ought to be to surround ourselves with those who love the Lord, those who are not concerned about the past but love seeing the Lord work in their friends lives.
It is far better to be alone with the Lord than to be surrounded by people who love to judge us according to the past or based on their prejudices against us rather than real evidence. Those who would rather believe evil about us than have a conversation with us to find the truth, are attempting to keep us in a "one down" position for their own personal elevated status. These are not our friends, they are not an asset to our Christian walk, nor will they ever desire the best in the Lord for us.
Wicked men love to covertly hide their sin, cloaking it in pretense of concern, when really their desire is to ruin their target. Those who hide, keeping secrets, do it because they are up to no good, they have no good in mind for those they hate. Hiding, refusing to discuss something openly is a sure sign the hider has an attitude he doesn't want anyone else to see.
Proverbs 6:12-16 "A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:"
Ecclesiastes 12:14 "For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil."
Psalm 5:4 "For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you."
Psalm 34:21 "Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned."
Micah 2:1 "Woe to those who devise wickedness and work evil on their beds! When the morning dawns, they perform it, because it is in the power of their hand."
The state of man without God is always bent toward selfishness and evil.
Romans 3:10-18
10 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;
11 no one understands; no one seeks for God.
12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good, not even one.”
13 “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”
14 “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
15 “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16 in their paths are ruin and misery,
17 and the way of peace they have not known.”
18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”
Because we are living in the end times, we are going to see the unsaved come against believers more intensely than we have ever seen in our past. They will not want to admit that God has worked in our live, it convicts them of their own sin.
Remember:
Proverbs 28:1 "28 The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion."
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