Most people love their traditions and don't like it when we try to make sense of them. They seem to think that "good sense" isn't necessary when we want to do something, as long as it made us feel good inside. I have always wanted to know the reason for doing things, if there wasn't a good reason that was a godly blessing, then I did not want to do what was expected.
I am finding all the human traditions that have been so cherished by much of our culture are a trick and a trap. The trick is to make people feel like they should be doing the holiday or special day, after they have them trapped into the holiday, then we can convince them to buy things, the cards and the gifts. Once the culture is entrenched in the holiday and the gift giving, we can easily continue the sense that they are not very nice people if they don't do what everyone else is doing, even labeling them selfish and unkind for not participating.
Families have judged members merely by the lack of acknowledgment of the holiday or the quality of the gift. We were tricked into believing we should observe all these human traditions and further trapped after beginning their practice.
In the last status I wrote about Mother's day and Father's day, this time I want to address the ritual of the funeral or what might be called the memorial after someone dies.
Our practice in this country is to buy an expensive casket as a demonstration of our love for the person who passed. Then we hire a hall to have a gathering, lavish the room with flowers, play music, arrange speakers and singers, allow time for others in the congregation to get up and speak about the happy things they remember about the dead individual, while gazing at the collages of pictures scattered about the room so that those who haven't seen the person in many years will have a short glimpse of the life of that person.
When I see someone get up in a memorial and praise a person they have not seen in 30 years, as though they could actually know that person, I feel a little suspicious. How could someone who has not seen someone in 30 years know the life of the person, the best they can do is regale us with stories of the past that may no longer be the character of the deceased person. The person in the casket may be better or worse, but for sure he is changed in some way from 30 years ago. Are our gatherings truthful, or are they fantasies that cause gooey feelings but have little substance.
It all sounds very nice, it gives us warm fuzzy feelings whether or not we even knew the person, we would go away with tears in our eyes and a happy jump in our heart and believe that the person must have been wonderful because of all the hype presented at the funeral.
In the presentations about the deceased, we notice that nothing bad is ever said, only good things. Usually those good things are embellished to reflect a little more flowery and exciting than they really were while laughter and tears fill the hall, almost completely motivated by unthinking emotion.
At the cemetery, those who attend stand around with solemn faces, either pretending sadness or having been moved by the emotion of the events, watching the casket being lowered into the grave. Some attending feel a sense of grief while most, especially in a large gathering, were not close to the deceased, have come because it was expected of them, to appear a good person.
After the ceremony at the graveyard, some remain to speak to the dead person in the casket while others move on to the hall where much food has been prepared for the attendees of the memorial.
This all sounds fine right!!! But wait a minute, lets take a good look at what actually happened here and whether or not it was Biblical.
As far as I can see, there is no Biblical model of the modern memorial or funeral of our day. I see no instructions as to what to do when someone dies, for the believe, in the New Testament era. So what is the proper way to handle the death of a loved one?
The funeral or memorial is based on the premise that the dead person should be honored in some way. My question has always been; "should we just honor them while they are alive and can see us doing it?" Those at the grave site speak to the coffin wherein lies a shell of a body without a spirit, as though that person can hear them.
Then there are those friends and relatives that haven't seen the diseased in thirty years, but showed up at their funeral. They never called or never came for a visit, but wanted to come to the memorial to say goodbye to someone who was dead and couldn't hear them. Often the believers think that their loved ones can hear them from heaven, but again, this is not Biblically supported.
Even the embalming practice comes from paganism initially. The body was preserved for the return of the soul. Then the question one has to ask, to answer this is; "what about all the bodies of believers who were buried and eaten by worms two thousand years ago, can God bring them back from that? The answer is yes, of course God can resurrect a body that has been corrupted and returned to dust. Perhaps the preservation of the body on the part of a believer, is lack of faith.
Genesis 3:19 "19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou return unto the ground, for out of it wast thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.”
Do we see the forms of paganistic necromancy enmeshed in our Christianity? The pagans believe that people can hear us after they are dead, they believe they can come back and see us and that we must preserve the body so that when their soul comes back they have a body in which to dwell.
God says that there is a great gulf between this life and the next, one cannot cross over.
Luke 16:26 "And besides all this, between us and you there is a great chasm fixed, so that those who wish to come over from here to you will not be able, and that none may cross over from there to us.'"
Leviticus 20:27 "“A man or a woman who is a medium or a necromancer shall surely be put to death. They shall be stoned with stones; their blood shall be upon them.”
Deuteronomy 10:13-18 "There shall not be found among you anyone who burns his son or his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord. And because of these abominations the Lord your God is driving them out before you. You shall be blameless before the Lord your God,"
Isaiah 8:19 "And when they say to you, “Inquire of the mediums and the necromancers who chirp and mutter,” should not a people inquire of their God? Should they inquire of the dead on behalf of the living?"
I have asked the Lord to show me all the things I was raised with, that are not Biblical or Christlike, the list is growing everyday. The burdens to follow the rituals are lifting a monstrous weight from my shoulders. We have placed heavy burdens and expectations on believers that have no basis in Scripture.
Matthew 23:4 ""They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger."
My husband and I will not be having expensive funerals. No one will have to plan for five days after our death, all the expensive trappings that wear a person out physically while emptying the bank account. Let the living use the money for the glory of the Lord, not for our glory after we are an empty shell in a grave.
I believe giving gifts have more meaning when they are not mandated by others. When we give a gift because we are moved to bless someone, that will be the better blessing. Perhaps it would be good to cogitate on this; when we give, it might be good to give when someone has a need, rather than to give to impress or add to the pile of things in a wealthy person's house.
How about we learn to love through being available when there is a need for companionship. It is much easier to give a gift when it is convenient for us, but much more effort is involved when we have to drop what we are doing to be there for someone who is alone, or ill. The gift and card elevate ourselves but the service is entirely for the one being served.
