Stand Up

A Quote from David Jeremiah
"Stand up"
"Not standing down, which is cowardice
Not standing aside, which is compromise
Not standing against which is contention
but standing up, which is conviction and courage."

Husband is the Brother to the Wife and Wife is the Sister to the Husband

red with Public

In a Christian marriage, the husband of the wife is also her brother, and the wife of a husband is his sister.

 
Matthew 18:15-16 "15 If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’"

It is imperative that if a spouse ever has to expose the sin of a spouse to others, she/he need to be careful who they take the problem to, because of the proliferation of false believers who bring false teachings that might further destroy the marriage.
It is also a mistake to take a marriage problem to an adult child in our day; adult children are prone to take sides based on who is their favorite parent.

 
We live in a world in which it is difficult to find someone who is loving and kind enough to seek Christ to help those who are struggling. Most people tend to want to avoid anyone with problems or at least pretend the problems do not exist. And worse, people remember the story and pass it on only with a little embellishment added, as well as guesses that are likely not true.

James 5:19-20
"My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, consider this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover over a multitude of sins."

Proverbs 27:5-6
"Better an open rebuke than love that is concealed. The wounds of a friend are faithful, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

For someone who is repentant in their marriage, we are to extend forgiveness while loving them to restoration.

 
2 Corinthians 2:6-8
The punishment imposed on him by the majority is sufficient for him. So instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Therefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love for him."

I remember the story of a woman many years ago who had committed a sin. She made the mistake of confessing to a family member what she had done that had nothing to do with the one to whom she was confessing. She was wrongly counseled to do it, just to be accountable to someone.

 
She didn't need to be accountable to someone whom the sin was not against. She had been accountable to her husband, who forgave her as well as God, Who forgave her.

 
Here was the problem with going to someone outside her marriage to confess a sin that was not against the hearer: it became a source of gossip, with the act of repentance left out of the story.

 
For the rest of her life, this woman endured the judgment of her family over something she never did to them and of which she was repentant.

 
The false idea that we should tell on ourselves for things not done against those hearing has brought more misery to marriages and families than any other erroneous doctrine.

 
Another story was one in which a sister had gone to a Christian counselor for marriage problems. She was told by her counselor that her marriage problems were because she had to care for her older sister when she came down with polio and became permanently paralyzed. Her sister was a middle-aged woman in a wheelchair, and the younger sister cared for her when they were in their teens.

 
This foolish counselor convinced the younger woman it was wrong that she had to take care of her sister with polio many years ago, and that it was causing her marriage problems in the present. She was advised to go to her older sister and tell her she was the reason for her marriage problems, because of her polio. It literally blew up the relationship. This is what modern psychology does to Christianity, literally a relationship destroyer.

 
My friend, who was grieving over the loss of the love of her sister, left her with bad feelings that she had to be taken care of when she was the one suffering as a teenager many years before.

 
How seriously foolish it was of the younger sister, who did not have the presence of mind to see the silliness of the "Christian" counselor.

 
Did my friend deliberately contract polio to irritate her younger sister? Or, perhaps the older sister should have sat in her wheelchair alone without help? How about the pain and suffering of a young woman who would never walk again? None of these ideas entered the mind of the selfish younger sister and her foolish counselor.
Oh, and one more thing; perhaps the Lord placed the younger sister there in that family to be love and support for her older sister, earning her jewels in her crown in heaven.

 
The world is full of those who pretend to know everything about every situation when they really know very little and only what the person in front of them is telling them.

 
We must avoid sharing our problems with those who are not loving, don't care, and are gossips. And, believe me, many people like this champ at the bit to have something to tattle about.

This is a good time to mention what the last days apostate church looks like and be reminded to avoid these kinds of people.

 
2 Timothy 3:1-5
Difficult (Ragingly Insane)Times Will Come
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Superficial, shallow conversation does not build relationships.

So many people depend on walking on eggshells so no one is angry with them. Very little in conversation is important or grows hearts and minds.

Sadly, this shallow exchange does nothing to build lasting, quality relationships.

Deeper, more quality relationships are based on each person desiring to know the heart of the other person; this is rare in our culture. Since we live in a culture that prioritizes boasting and flaunting things about oneself, there is little interest in anything about the other person.

One of the clues in a shallow relationship is that stories about life that bring life lessons are seen as boring and uninteresting. Lessons about life are not important to most people in our day.

Boasting about activities and sounding intelligent are the preferred means of communication today. This is the reason most people live by cliches and slogans without really knowing what they mean. Most of these conversations provide information about activities, but truly are boring without depth and meaning.

Many adults think on a one-dimensional level without attention to life lessons. Since life lessons and wisdom are not a priority, the culture remains unconcerned about others, except and unless pretending empathy from time to time will impress others.

When someone comes along with authentic empathy and wishes to share a profound insight, it is met with blank and unresponsive stares. These profound insights are often even considered rude because causing a person to think beyond shallowness brings agitation.

Our culture does not want to do the hard work of discovering whether something is worthy of attention. When a culture is dedicated to appearing special through its activities, they rarely think about the meanings of life experiences.

Perhaps, making someone else think more deeply brings humility; it demands that the one hearing the wisdom will take the time and effort to think beyond trivialities. This is offensive to most people since the culture has elevated boasting and superficiality to the level of an art form.

I find that the people I know who think beyond cliches and cultural mantras are often mocked or excluded as though something is wrong with them. This is why those who love to think more deeply isolate themselves, interacting mostly with others who think the way they do. Conversations with people who enjoy wisdom on a deeper level are full of joy at their discoveries.

1 Corinthians 2:15-16 "…15The spiritual man judges all things, but he himself is not subject to anyone’s judgment. 16 “For who has known the mind of the Lord, so as to instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.