Friday, November 1, 2024

From our Mind Out our Mouths to Someone Else's Ears

Remember that narcissists are those who judge harshly often because of their own jealousy toward someone. Their judgments are unfounded and determined by what they wish to believe about their target but are not factual.
Since narcissists walk in fear and are full of the need to be superior they will choose their desired belief and pass it on as facts to others who will listen to them. Truth and facts don't matter to the narcissist, only their superiority and the neat to always be right, overrides good reasoning.
Proverbs 11:13 "A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy person keeps a secret."
I notice too that narcissists are terribly secretive about their own lives out of fear that others will gossip about them the way they gossip about others.
It is never wise to bare your soul to a narcissist, they will not care what you are going through but rather enjoy twisting what you said into their version of it and passing that false information on as fact.
Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
If someone does not have a need to know something about another person then it is best to keep the knowledge to ourselves. And, it is never acceptable to make "guesses" about what might be happening when we were not there to see it for themselves. There are many people in the world today who cannot be trusted with personal information.
Someone once shared gossip with me about a woman whose husband left her for another woman. The gossip was as, the gossip guessed that the wife drove off the husband to cause him to do what he did. I noticed in this testimony from those who didn't live in the house with the woman who was betrayed, claimed she drove her husband to sin.
It was interesting that the gossip didn't guess that perhaps the husband who ran off with another woman must have been at fault in the marriage. If I were going to "guess" about this situation I would have thought that the one who betrayed his wife was continually emotionally abusing the wife or he never would have betrayed her in this way. Why choose to believe the wife was at fault when it was the man committing adultery and abandonment?
Again, "my guess" based on life experience, that it is that the gossip who didn't like the wife so they concocted a scenario that best justified their contempt for the wife, while excusing the husband's wicked behavior.
When someone "guesses" what they think "might" have happened they are engaging in the worst kind of gossip, deliberately making the innocent party seem like the perpetrator without proof.
Proverbs 10:18 "Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips
and spreads slander is a fool."
Proverbs 18:8 "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to the inmost parts."
I notice too that those who engage in judging others without knowing the whole truth never tell on themselves and they become angry when someone points out the evil of their guesses.
Proverbs 6:16-19
"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."
Those who "guess" about the situations of others love drama and discord among the brethren. They want a reason to feel superior or even to justify their own sin against those they gossip against, so they attempt to convince others to treat the target with the same contempt that dwells in the heart of the gossiper. The more they can gain to their side the more entrenched in their false belief they become.
It is only Christ Who can take these gossipers through discipline and the discipline must be severe because these types always have excuses and everything is the faul to someone else.
James 1:26
"If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless."
This is the reason I have such a problem with tabloid news about celebrities. Praising them when we do not know their lives, yes even praise can be gossip, or denigrating them because of news stories is all gossip, none of it can be proved so it is best to ignore it all.
Perhaps remembering the following passage will help remind us to be mindful of what comes out of our mouths, and before that what goes on in our minds. When we keep close accounts about our heart and mind we will not allow ungodly thoughts to fly out of our mouths let alone into someone else's ears.
Matthew 12:36
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,