There is only one way to build a quality relationship that lasts a lifetime.
I am sure many people in our culture would say "just letting things go" will keep the relationship intact. This could not be farther from the truth.
Quality relationships are built by expressing concerns and discussing them, with the willingness to place ourselves in someone else's shoes.
Sadly very few people today want to be honest because honesty brings vulnerability. When we are honest we open ourselves to criticism, criticism makes us feel attacked if we are prideful and defensive.
If we are humble and interested in growing in wisdom we will see criticism as an opportunity for self-reflection. Those who are narcissistic are weak inside, unable to expose the slightest flaw within themselves. They see every look at flaws as a devastating weakness. They do not realize a strong person is able to look at all sides of themselves, the good and the ugly.
Strong people are not devastated by facing needed change in their character, they grow as they face warts and flaws. There is only one way to grow in wisdom and that is to regularly self-reflect to evaluate whether there is needed change.
Weak people cannot admit their own flaws, their weakness is seen in their defensiveness. We live in a culture now that considers it foolish to admit flaws. We must remember that the culture as a whole says the opposite of what God says.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11
"9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
10 Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
11 I have become foolish; you yourselves compelled me. Actually I should have been commended by you, since I was in no respect inferior to the most eminent apostles, even though I am a nobody."
The happiest people are those who know their own weaknesses, admit their flaws, and grow as they experience progress in their walk. There is great joy in changing and growing. It is a wonderful freedom that comes when we are invested in our growth without a need to control anyone else.
There is continual sadness for those who walk in pride having to justify the intimidation and mocking that spills out of their wicked hearts as they seek to control others.
Psalms 1:1-4
"1 Happy is the man who does not go in the company of sinners, or take his place in the way of evil-doers, or in the seat of those who do not give honour to the Lord.
2 But whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and whose mind is on his law day and night.
3 He will be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, which gives its fruit at the right time, whose leaves will ever be green; and he will do well in all his undertakings.
4 The evil-doers are not so; but are like the dust from the grain, which the wind takes away."
When Jesus Christ is our focus we have no need or desire to control anyone even ourselves, we allow the Holy Spirit to be in control of us. When He is in control we do not walk in guilt or guile, just pure joy all the time.
Romans 7:22
"For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being,"
