If we are "trying harder" to be a better Christian then we are living in the flesh! Our aim ought to be to pray that God change us, then He is the focus and the facilitator, He is changing us, when this happens we will be acting right not in our own effort but in the power of the Holy Spirit and it will be effortless on our part because it is He Who is changing us.
Those who are proud of how good they are acting on the outside do not trust the Holy Spirit and are not convicted of their pride. These people are focused on "self-improvement" not a change by Christ. They cannot be changed by Christ until they admit their own sin of pride, openly admitting it and confessing it to God and others.
Those who work at being better will not be able to sustain it. They can only fool some people, but they will never fool the one who is born again and walking in the Spirit.
The fruit of the Spirit is evident in those who have trusted in Christ but not in their own high opinion of themselves.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Good attitudes are constant in those who have the Holy Spirit. They can be seen by discerning hearts who also have the Holy Spirit.
We are only confused about this in the culture because the entire Christian culture is an enabling one based on feelings rather than God's justice and holiness.
