It is fear that drives believers to remain with ungodly family members. Fear that the culture will judge them for becoming separate. Fear that they will be alone in their old age and fear of losing others who don't like that we have walked away.
Don't let fear determine your decisions. Please ask the Holy Spirit what He wants from you and follow when you hear from Him.
In the past Bio-family has been the biggest hindrance to my walk with Christ than anything else. When the Lord told me to keep contact with them to a minimum all my joy and peace returned. Family mobbings, pettiness and desire to control us keep us from growing into the person Christ wants us to be. We love our families which is the reason it takes so long to decide to remove them from our daily lives.
Often we have this ever-present hope that they will stop their gossip and covertly mean tricks, so we hang in there hoping the next visit will be different, but it rarely is different.
I remain hopeful that one day a family member who has caused me great grief will return as the prodigal son did, in repentance and compassion to reconcile the relationship. We cannot force anyone to hear us or understand our concerns we must leave it all to God as we move forward in our Spiritual and emotional growth.
Far too many Christians remain with family from this self-imposed fear not because they have a lovely connection with the people in that family.
I have known families that were wonderful, godly, and kind, but they have been rare.
Superficial relationships based on DNA are not sustainable. It is Christ in us that connects with Christ in another believer that is not only sustainable but deeply joyful.
John 10:27
"27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."
Those who love Christ know the voice of God and love everyone else who follows Christ. This is not the case with unbelievers, they do not love Christ and do not love us, therefore there is only continual angst at our desire to obey Him.
Matthew 4:18-22
"18 While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. 19 And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 20 Immediately they left their nets and followed him. 21 And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. 22 Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him."
We must resist family and cultural pressure to remain with those who do not love Christ. The demons who control unbelievers can never be happy or content with Christ Who controls believers.
Romans 10:14
"14 How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?"
We must speak the truth of Christ to unbelievers, and be ready to leave them if they reject Him.
Luke 9:59-62
"59 And He said to another, “Follow Me.” But he said, “Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father.”
60 But He said to him, “Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God.”
61 Another also said, “I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say goodbye to those at my home.”
62 But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”
The man Christ spoke to in this passage wanted to wait for his father to die before following Christ, but Christ's answer was "no, follow me now and proclaim the gospel to others."
We have been taught for the past three generations because of the man-made religious system, that we need to remain with family just in case they will want to hear about Jesus Christ again. But what happens nearly every time in family gatherings is the gospel is never mentioned in order to keep the peace in the family and the born-again believer is mocked into silence.
We can and should bring the gospel to unsaved family members but we must have the faith to move on allowing God to use others when Christ is rejected. God doesn't need us, they have heard and now it is up to the Holy Spirit to work in their lives using others. Who knows, God may have 50 people over a lifetime who witness Christ to family and they either choose to listen or they don't. We are not responsible to remain, taking on the responsibility of "making them understand" or "making them realize." We are only responsible to speak the truth and move on when it is rejected.
We can pray for unsaved families but we cannot take on the task of continually forcing them to listen unless Christ in us is commanding us to do so, that is a different matter.
Sadly so many people who are Christians are not led by God to remain with their families but they do so out of false obligation and cultural pressure.
What most people do not understand is that those we keep continual company with will influence us to become like them to fit into the group to be accepted. They do not become like us, we are overwhelmed by the "group-think" and do not want to fight so we go into silence, causing them to believe we are just like them.
1 Corinthians 15:33
"Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
Proverbs 13:20
"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Psalm 1:1
"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;"
Proverbs 6:27
"Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?"
This is the reason I do not enjoy family gatherings, everyone in the group feeds off of one another, one person can easily be ignored or mocked by the group.
If I am to have contact with unbelievers I prefer to have it one on one without mob influence. This leaves a greater opportunity to share the things of God without interference from the mob. People tend to go with the majority when in a crowd, they lack the fortitude to stand alone.
God has led me to this understanding, allowing me to be free from the pressures of the family-cult and the community culture. I can freely go where God wants me to go and freely remove myself when it is time to go. What a joy it is to be led by Christ without all the encumbrances of family and cultural systems.
Galatians 5:1
Follow the Spirit
"5 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."
