Haughty False Forgiveness

I have heard many videos chastising people to forgive, but I do not hear many videos telling the offender to confess their sin to be cleansed as stated in 1 John 1:9.

 
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Many people tend to ignore that first word, "if", we confess we will be forgiven.
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To ignore the step of the offender confessing their sin makes the whole matter of forgiveness moot. There is no forgiveness from God for those who will not admit what they have done, and worse believe they did nothing wrong.

 
Since forgiveness is for the purpose of reconciling the relationship when someone is sorry for their offense, then also is repentance necessary on the part of the offender for reconciling the relationship.

Christ requires us to admit our sinfulness before He can forgive us and change us into a new creation. He does not do things differently than He expects us to do.
Holding people accountable is what brings about conviction and sorrow over sin. If accountability causes the offender to become worse, that reveals their stubborn heart. The rage of the offender says nothing about what we did in holding someone accountable.

 
We do not become bitter for not forgiving those who are not sorry. We pray for them, go to them to present their fault so that they realize how broken the relationship is unless amends are made. We easily forgive when the offender is sorry, desiring to change their behavior and we are delighted when things are resolved.

 
Matthew 5:44 says, "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
If someone is antagonistic and refuses to change their behavior, then our instructions from God are to avoid them. 2 Timothy 3:5

There is no reconciling of a relationship when the offender does not want to stop their practice that offends.

 
Nowhere in the Bible does God say we forgive others who are not repentant just to feel good about ourselves.

 
Obeying God takes courage because the world and even some people in the church will discipline the one who was harmed for not forgiving the offender who is not sorry, but they will not discipline the offender. This has been frequent in our day as the churches become more worldly and apostate.

It is disobedience to forgive an unrepentant sinner. We are told to hold them accountable until they have made the decision to repent.

 
Blessings come when one party confesses and the other one forgives. This reconciles a relationship, making it stronger than before. When we sidestep God's ways to follow psychology, we enable the sinner to grow worse in their attitudes, taking away the opportunity for them to be blessed with the cleansing of their sin by God.

Pretending to forgive when someone is not sorry only sweeps problem attitudes under the rug further establishing the sinful frame of mind.

 
We only grow in holiness and help others grow when we do things God's way.
No one will be forgiven by God for their sinful nature if they don't confess it and desire to be cleansed by Him. We confess to be forgiven so that our broken relationship with God will be mended.

You may have heard about the "broken windows" concept involving laws. If the law does not prosecute small offenses, then they grow into bigger ones.

 
People do not grow out of sinful habits by others coddling them. We grow better by having to suffer the consequences of our actions. It is difficulties that cause us to make changes in bad behavior.

 
When we meet someone who has been warned over and over again to stop their bad behavior, and their response is to continue in it or grow worse, that reveals their heart. We didn't cause them to grow worse; they did that, demonstrating their rebellion.

 
What a twisted world we live in when those who attempt to correct sinful people are the ones who are accused of causing the sinner to become worse. It's the devil's lie and manipulation tactic to prevent accountability that may bring a sinner to their knees before God.

Silencing the one who tells the truth and who desires resolution of problems is the devil's favorite tactic, and it is working well for him today as the churches mishandle relationships and refuse to call out sin.

 
1 Corinthians 5:13 states, "God will judge those who are outside, but you must remove the evil person from among you".

 
The Corinthians thought they were being loving by ignoring the sin of a young man who was sleeping with his father's wife. They were not being loving but unloving.

1 Corinthians 5:1-8 "5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife.
2 And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this?
3 For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this.
4 So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present,
5 hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh,[a][b] so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.
6 Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?
7 Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.
8 Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth."

Just as the Corinthians were proud of themselves for coddling the sinner, so are those who forgive unrepentant people. Pride is what leads them to pretend to be the more spiritual person when, in fact, they are doing more harm to the whole body by their haughty, false forgiveness without repentance.

Bitterness and Hatred in the Last days

"Bitterness and hatred eat its host" (Senica). God knows how destructive these character traits are in anyone; that's why He tells us to avoid them.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away."

Ephesians 4:31-32. "Let all bitterness, wrath, and anger, clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

 
This is also the reason God tells us to avoid people who live in a state of anger and bitterness; they can infect us like a plague without warning.

 
When we see someone raging, we know they harbor these traits within their soul. The outward rage is just the symptom of a deeper heart problem.

There is no Human Hierarchy in God's Church

I was told by a "Christian man" that I was rebellious because I believe husband and wife should discuss things to come to an agreement, with each party considering the other.

 
He tried to talk my husband into controlling me better because I dared to express my opinions to men. His idea was that the man makes all the decisions and the wife remains silent and just supports whatever the husband wants.

This is not a marriage; this is a slave master relationship, not at all Biblical. The wives are to submit when the husband makes a final decision but the husband should never make a final decision without the counsel and input of the wife.

 
If the husband is disobeying God, then the wife is responsible to decline to follow the sin of the husband. She is to counsel him not to sin, and if he ignores her, then she refuses to sin along with him. God commanded the wife to obey her husband in all things he does that honors God; she is never to obey anyone who asks her to sin.

 
Acts 5:29 "29 But Peter and the other apostles replied, “We must obey God rather than men."

One example in the Bible of a couple who collaborated to disobey God by lying to the Holy Spirit is Annanias and Sapphirah. The wife encouraged her husband to do what he wanted to, and they were both killed by God for lying to the Holy Spirit.
Acts 5:1-11 is the story of this couple who lied together and died together.

 
The woman is never to engage with the husband in sin; if she does, she is also guilty. If she does not follow her husband in sin, then he alone bears the guilt of his own sin.

 
No woman will stand before the Lord on judgment day defending her sin because her husband told her to do it. Each person will stand alone for their own choices; no one forces anyone to sin. Yes, there may be consequences of emotional or physical abuse for the woman when she declines to obey a wicked husband, but God must always come before her husband.

Just as the sin of the father will not be accounted to the son, so also the sin of the husband will not be accounted to the wife if she obeys God and does not allow her husband to lead her into sin.

 
Ezekiel 18:19-23 "The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself."

This passage was referring to the father son relationship, but pertains to all human relationships.

 
2 Kings 14:6
"Yet he did not put the sons of the murderers to death, but acted according to what is written in the Book of the Law of Moses, where the LORD commanded: “Fathers must not be put to death for their children, and children must not be put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin.”

Romans 14:12
"So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."

Galatians 6:5
"For each one should carry his own load."

Matthew 16:27
"For the Son of Man will come in His Father’s glory with His angels, and then He will repay each one according to what he has done."

"The Bible explicitly states that "there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus," emphasizing spiritual equality. This inclusion of women in the term "sons of God" emphasizes their equal standing and importance in God's kingdom." Biblical Definition

 
There are different roles for men and women in certain cases; however, the roles do not make one above another. Each one chooses to obey God in their role, and they are not intimidated by others. No one has authority over another individual; only the Holy Spirit has this ultimate Authority.

 
We should heed the direction and teaching of leaders in the church and in other venues of life, but only as they obey God. In other words, we will agree with, counsel and come alongside those who obey God.

 
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ"

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "11 Therefore, encourage and build one another up, just as you are already doing."

Hebrews 3:13
"But exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."

Romans 14:19
"So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification."

Colossians 3:16
"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."

Everyone who is filled with the Holy Spirit, man, woman, or child, is commanded to edify one another, choosing to obey God in their roles without intimidation or force.

 
Mark 10:42-45
"42 Calling them to Himself, Jesus *said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles domineer over them; and their people in high position exercise authority over them.

43 But it is not this way among you; rather, whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant;
44 and whoever wants to be first among you shall be slave of all.
45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

Have You Repented or Have You Just Pretended

Christ does all the work in those who confess sinfulness and wish to be changed by Him into a new creation. Anyone who has trusted Christ changes so dramatically that it is noticed by everyone, even if those looking don't want to admit it.

 
Those who remain unchanged after joining a church are likely never changed, holding onto their old selves hoping to have the perks of being with "church people" without ever confessing their sinfulness to be changed by Christ.

 
Christ will never change someone who does not want to be changed by Him.

Psalm 51:9-11 "…9 Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. 11Cast me not away from Your presence; take not Your Holy Spirit from me."

2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!"

Romans 12:2
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."

Titus 3:5
"He saved us, not by the righteous deeds we had done, but according to His mercy, through the washing of new birth and renewal by the Holy Spirit."

If you tried to change yourself to take pride in what you have done, then you were never born again. It is only when Christ changes us that the change is real, lasting, and we are heaven-bound.

 
Many will think they are saved because they decided to be a Christian their own way, but were never saved. This is probably the most frightening passage in the Bible, the expectation of going to heaven only to be turned away by the Lord Himself.

 
Matthew 7:21-23
I Never Knew You
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"

The Effects of Truth