Narcissist Parents are the Lenient Ones

Narcissists are often lenient with children because they want the children to have allegiance to them.

The narcissist will treat the parent who trains, teaches and disciplines as though they are mean causing the children to believe something is wrong with the other parent.

Often the children of the narcissist despise the parent who cares about the success of the children. The narcissist will pamper the children while making the caring parent out to be the bad one.

When this happens the children will choose a spouse who is much like their narcissistic parents, again, the spouse will take on the attitude of angst toward the parent who is not narcissistic while embracing the narcissist parent.

In my family, my parents were both narcissists and raised my brothers to despise me because I thought differently from them. Our parents poked at me and by their example, my brothers thought I didn't deserve any respect or kindness.

One thing that was clear in our household was that if any suggestion was made different from the narcissist's ideas they would rage rather than discuss, and I think this was due to fear. They feared the loss of control merely through a different suggestion.

When we encounter these kinds of people there is only one thing we can do, is keep our own hearts free from anger and bitterness while asserting ourselves in a loving and kind manner.

We keep our own hearts free from bitterness by seeking God, praying, and understanding the source of the angst toward us, which is the devil.

Ephesians 6:12

"12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

When we have prayed to discern if we are guilty of something and found that we are being manipulated then we can assume the devil is behind the mess and pray against it.

Our most important prayer is that God keeps us from responding in a sinful way, making us impervious to the attacks designed to cause emotional reactions in us.

Isaiah 26:3

"3 You will keep him in perfect peace,

Whose mind is stayed on You,

Because he trusts in You."

Misunderstandings From Human Wisdom

There is a misunderstanding these days that we should follow Paul as being the same as following Christ.

Since God said Jesus Christ is the only Mediator between God and man we need no other mediators, any other mediators would be idolatry.

The Scriptures are our authority, Paul was the messenger for all that Christ said and did, we do not follow him, we follow Christ.

1 Corinthians 3:5-8

5 What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one.

6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth.

7 So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth.

8 Now the one who plants and the one who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor."

1 Peter 2:21

"For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps."

John 8:12

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

When we look at a doctrine of the Bible in isolation (out of context) without evaluating it with the rest of the Bible it is easy to come to a wrong conclusion. This is why we need to read many passages on a principle, their context and the culture of the time to be able to discern God's meaning. And, above all, we must pray for the Holy Spirit to bring understanding.

There are many doctrines in our day that violate the Word of God, rampant is the love of mixing human thinking with God's Word, leaving a wrong interpretation.

2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."

We must seek the Holy Spirit before reading the Scriptures and test all things according to the Bible that you hear from anyone.