Hardened Hearts Through Coddling

Notice in the case of God giving Pharaoh what he wanted only served to cause him to further harden his own heart. Enabling loved ones often solidifies the hardness in someone rather than softening them.

We do no favors by relieving the pain of those in rebellion. The best thing we can do is to allow the difficulties to take their course. We can sympathize but bailing someone out is not always the right thing to do.

Proverbs 19:19 "A person of great anger will suffer the penalty, For if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again."

Judging Other Parents is Risky at Best

We must be careful not to judge parenting based on how adult children choose to live their lives.

Adam and Eve had the perfect parents and they were the first to disobey and defy God their Father. God gave them everything they needed for an eternity, but it wasn't enough to cause them to obey.

There is no guarantee in the Word that children will follow their parents, in fact, the evidence shows us the opposite is often true.

We read in the Bible about Israel, did what is right in God's eyes and the next generation did not honor God.

In my experience, culture has a very great pull on children even if they are homeschooled.

The verse "raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it", has been misunderstood by many people. They tend to take it as a promise that they will just do the right thing and the children will follow. Sadly they change their mind when their children do not go the way they had hoped in their adult years.

The verse that says "raise of a child and he will not depart from it", is a general principle that children will not forget how they were raised, some will follow and others will not.

Brent Rhinehart said this:

Another view of Proverbs 22:6 is that the writer was saying the exact opposite. It’s not a guarantee for parents, but rather a warning. Dr. Douglas Stuart from Gordon Theological Seminary holds this view citing many notable scholars. According to Stuart, the difference comes from the addition of the word “should” in the English translations, something that’s not supported in the original Hebrew. Without the “should” the nature of the verse changes. It’s more about allowing your children to go their own way, not the way they “should” go. In this view, the reading would be more like “Train up a child in his own way, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” That certainly changes things, doesn’t it?

What do you think, does the evidence show that parents raise their children and when they are old they will choose their own way and the parents are to let them go?"

I want to do a little more study on this matter because I see Christians, usually with small children who are still under their parent's control, judging other parents whose children have grown and not chosen to obey God.

I am interested in your thoughts supported by Scripture on this matter. Since so many things we have been taught have been wrong in all the translations, is it possible we are attempting to read the Bible with a western mindset according to western thought patterns and cultures?

We need the Holy Spirit to help us on this since we cannot read Hebrew or Greek!

May Israel be Blessed after the Rapture

The Lord brought an idea to mind just recently while listening to a born-again Jew. He said he was going to leave his inheritance to Israel.

So many people have rebellious children who have no regard for them. God will only give an inheritance to those who love Him. He will not give an inheritance to those who reject Him. We can live by this same example.

Children who despise us will not suddenly be softened by getting an inheritance from us. If money softens them, then it is not the love of us but the love of the money.

We know the love of children is authentic when they expect nothing from us but treat us with honor and respect anyway.

Perhaps this is a lesson for born-again believers. Instead of leaving our assets to children who despise us, we could bless Israel with it.

When we are raptured out of here and our assets are left behind we can bless those who will be born-again in Israel during the tribulation. God will know where to send the inheritance and to whom it must go.

Now the prayer has to be asking God how to carry out leaving the inheritance to bless Israel. If this is God's will for believers.

We are living in times in which adult children have no or little interest in their parents. They want to be left alone without their parents to have fun and earn their fortunes. Perhaps this is the time to make our inheritance useful during a time when believers will need the resources.

After all, money is not important for eternity, only salvation is vitally important and how we spend that money to help believers, especially those who become born again after the rapture in Israel.

I have never been fond of the idea of leaving an inheritance to children who will spend it on their pleasures and foolishness when it could go to serve those who love Christ.

Just a thought to pray about. Since unsaved family members are not our real family because we belong to the family of Christ, we are free to pray for them as we walk away to live our lives for Christ, even after the rapture or death whichever comes first.

Everyone has to seek God on this, I am not even sure myself how this could be done, but God can show me when the timing is right.

Praise Him for His direction to us through the Holy Spirit.

We Will One Day Rule With Christ

Guiltlessness Through the Holy Spirit is our Comfort

When we owned an ice cream business we went to fairs, festivals, and high schools to sell our cups of ice cream, I noticed from time to time that the young girls who were dressed immodestly would pull their clothes together as if to hide a little when they interacted with me in the booth.

I was smiling, happy, engaging, and non-judgmental, but something about our interaction caused them to want to cover up what they had exposed.

I believe it was the Holy Spirit in me that convicted them and nothing about me personally. Those who are dressed immodestly are convicted by the Holy Spirit when they encounter Him.

They either hide as Adam and Eve did or they become angry and try to find something wrong with the person who has the Holy Spirit dwelling in them.

Mankind knows what is modest and what is not, even unbelieving men will show more respect to a woman dressed modestly than they do to a woman who is showing too much. They sort of sense the immodest woman wants them to lust after her, that's why she dresses that way.

This principle of Holy Spirit conviction is also true of narcissists who act rudely but want to despise those who do not act this way.

When a narcissist encounters someone who is hospitable they use rudeness, sometimes covertly to intimidate the believer into responding in anger. Their purpose is to cause a sinful attitude in their target so the narcissist can feel good about their rudeness.

When we do not respond in anger or rudeness to the narcissist their contempt grows worse as they escalate their attempts but in such a covert way that it could have plausible deniability. If confronted they can feign the victim to make the real victim seem guilty.

One example of this is when you have decorated your home in a way that pleases you and your husband. The narcissist comes to visit and the first thing out of their mouth is; "why did you paint these walls, I don't really like the color."

The first question in my mind would be; "why are you telling me that, after all, you don't live here. Should I change my walls to suit you?"

We know there is no real purpose in making a rude comment like the narcissist expresses because the color of the walls is not their business and not in their home. The only reason to say such a rude thing is to make the owner of the home feel foolish for their own taste in decorating.

A kind person might not like the color but would not say anything because they know the home does not belong to them, and it is not their business to like or dislike it. The kind person who didn't like the decorating would not say anything or would choose one aspect they did like and comment on that.

It has been my experience that kind people don't notice decorating or how a person is dressed. They are interested in visiting with the friend they love, not too much else matters.

For the narcissist politeness, kindness and hospitality are embarrassing. They do not show kindness and hospitality so they hate when someone else does. In other words, the narcissist hates anyone "upstaging" them in good deeds. Since they are not generally hospitable and do not have love they are challenged by those who do express love and kindness.

This is one of the reasons we must keep our distance from those who have no manners because they like to be rude. We operate from the Holy Spirit love, they hate it and attempt to destroy it in us by their responses to it.

We must resolve never to become like the narcissist by allowing them to goad us into acting the way they do through terse and dismissive remarks. Often the best way to handle those who act rudely is to ignore the rudeness with a smile or no expression at all.

Silence can be golden when we are being poked by the narcissist. They do not have anything to hold against us and we maintain the love in our Spirit. The Holy Spirit can remove the desire to teach the narcissist anything through a response.

A response to narcissistic rudeness is food for them, they will continue to poke as long as we continue to respond. Remember we cannot teach the narcissist anything, they are literally "hell bent" on ruining their target.

The devil uses the narcissist to upset the Christian into sinful responses, it teaches the narcissist that they can be rude because the Christian is also rude.

Narcissists are angry people all the time. The anger dwells inside the narcissist floating around in there for an opportunity to rise to the surface at any moment.

James 1:20

"For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

Proverbs 22:24

"Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man,"

Proverbs 14:29

"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly."

Remember a man given to anger full of themselves is not able to learn a lesson from us, so just don't even try to teach them. Leave room for the Lord to handle them while you allow the Holy Spirit to support you.

Proverbs 19:19

"A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again."

Proverbs 15:18

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention."

Never give the narcissist what he wants, that is a frustrated and angry reaction from us. The Holy Spirit can help us with this. There is nothing more satisfying than remaining calm and kind in the face of personal attacks, our guiltlessness is our comfort.