There are more lies told at funerals than at any other event. Because of the emotion involved the truth cannot be told. Most people say things they don't mean or say things they want to believe rather than what is real.
Sadly our cultural practices have become the accepted norm rather than the principles of the Bible.
I see no model for the modern "funeral" or "memorial" anywhere in the scriptures. It has been the practice of believers to console the dead who are burying the dead when they should be warning them of what comes after this life.
Coming alongside someone who is grieving is a good thing, however, lying to them that their loved one is "in a better place" when it was clear by their life that they had rejected Christ is not helpful.
Understand if you do lovingly console and warn the grieving person you may be met with anger by the one who lost a loved one and all their unsaved friends and family.
Luke 9:59-61 "59 Then He said to another man, “Follow Me.” The man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” 60 But Jesus told him, “Let the dead bury their own dead. You, however, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61Still another said, “I will follow You, Lord; but first let me bid farewell to my family.”…"
2 Corinthians 6:16-18 "…16 What agreement can exist between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people.” 17 “Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” 18 And: “I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”…"
It is very difficult to comfort and reach a person who is in a crowd at a funeral or memorial. The pressure of the crowd to conform to cultural standards is too strong to be able to speak to anyone about Christ.
I prefer to speak to people one on one without a crowd around to disapprove or negate the message of salvation to the one who needs it the most.
There is such a thing as group mobbings in which the entire group will agree and support the worldly and wrong understandings.
When I hear "they are in a better place now" out of the mouths of heathens who have rejected Christ about those who died rejecting Christ I can hardly stand to hear it. It denies Christ, it encourages pretense for the sake of feelings and it has no help for anyone.
Catering to feelings is of no value at all. Being gentle and kind while speaking the truth is the most valuable of all.
Ephesians 4:15
"15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ,"
Merely attending an ungodly funeral or memorial for the sake of making someone feel better about their loss has no value. It merely solidifies the belief that all people go to heaven no matter whether or not they trusted in Christ.
Perhaps it is time for the church to begin questioning their practices to be more effective for Christ. Yes, there will be rejection but that is on the person who chose not to listen, not on us. Just saying!
