How many times have we heard a story about someone but didn't actually see what was told to us? Everything after hearing the gossip was colored by that gossip, rather than interpreted in terms of what we are "really" seeing.
It is natural and normal to believe a friend who tells you things they are encountering, we love them and believe they have experienced what they tell us. This is far different from third party gossip based on something we think we see without any further evidence.
I remember the event many years ago, in which I was accused of hanging out at a bar on a Saturday afternoon. The interpreter desired to think badly of me because of her personal prejudice about me. She was an unsaved person who knew that I was a Christian. Because of this she sought to discredit me on several occasions.
This person who wished to believe I was someone doing what she knew I would not do, wanted something to hold over my head and relayed that gossip to others to further discredit me.
How did this all come about? Here is the real story.
My husband and I were visiting various sales around town on the day in question. One of the sales was across the street from a bar where we parked our car because the lot where the sale took place was full, there was no place to park except in the empty lot of the bar on a Saturday afternoon.
Instead of coming to us to ask us why our car was parked in that lot, the person who loved to gossip about us, chose to assume something about us that she knew was probably not true.
This assumption gave her permission to relay what she chose to believe, as fact to anyone and everyone else. When she finally found out the truth she didn't go back to all those people she told to clarify anything, but simply dismissed it all as an innocent mistake.
Anyone who knew us and loved us would have known immediately that there must have been another reason for our car being there, since the bar was closed the lot was empty and we didn't go to those places.
When we believe gossip about someone, things we never saw for ourselves, it is prudent and wise to ignore it, unless there is some evidence it might be true. Then if we love that person we will go to them to first ask if it is true and then continue from there.
Most often what we hear about others is skewed in a way that makes the gossiper look innocent and superior, never is it for the purpose of fixing anything.
Tale bearers are never about "love", they are always about ruining someone else and elevating themselves.
Nearly all misunderstandings could be easily cleared up when two things happen, first both parties want to discuss it to find truth and secondly when the truth is heard then reconciliation can occur.
The devil loved silence and secrets. Silence and secrets always cause trouble, no one heals, nothing is fixed and evil grows.
Proverbs 10:9-11 "…9 He who walks in integrity walks securely, But he who perverts his ways will be found out. 10 He who winks the eye causes trouble, And a babbling fool will be ruined. 11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, But the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.…"
"One who winks" is one who hides truth, even through half truths. Eventually these people are discovered for what they are, but not until they ruin the lives of others first.
Those who are righteous tell the truth, as long as those who hear it are desiring truth, the truth will be a blessing to them. Those who love to hear bad about someone will enjoy their ill temper toward their target. The righteous man wants to know truth to repair things.
Open and honest humble discussion is the only way trouble is thwarted.
Psalm 52:3 "…2 Your tongue devises destruction, Like a sharp razor, O worker of deceit. 3 You love evil more than good, Falsehood more than speaking what is right. Selah. 4 You love all words that devour, O deceitful tongue.…"
1 John 3:7 "Little children, make sure no one deceives you; the one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous;"
1 John 4:20 "If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."
When we love, we desire to hear truth to fix problems.
Those who want to hear gossip to find fault, have one thing in mind, that is to destroy, their father is the devil.
John 8:43-45 "…43 Why do you not understand what I am saying? It is because you are unable to accept My message. 44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out his desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, refusing to uphold the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, because he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 But because I speak the truth, you do not believe Me!…"
