There is a saying going around based on psychology that defies the truth of the Bible.
That saying goes like this; "we must develop a relationship with someone before giving them the gospel." Nowhere in scripture do we see this commanded or modeled.
We are told to go into all the world and preach the gospel, that is wherever God sends us, even if it is in our own community. Everyone can share the gospel from their homes now. We don't have to traverse the world to do it.
Christ spoke to the 5000 without developing a relationship with them. The apostles were martyred because they spoke to strangers the truth of the gospel.
This mantra about developing a relationship first is just an excuse to avoid telling people the gospel unless they like us first, its all about getting people to like us, if they like us maybe they will fall in love with Christ. This is nonsense.
Christ did every miracle possible for people, even healing them while the masses of people saw it and heard about it, but what did they do, they killed Him.
We can develop a relationship with people, being very careful to make sure they like us but as soon as we are bold about the gospel they will turn on us. Developing a relationship requires the compromise of our principles.
We can be friends with absolutely anyone if we do what they do, say what they say and expect what they expect. In other words we must be just like them in every way for them to have a relationship with them.
However, look what God says; Matthew 10:21-22 "…21Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved."
Did God get it wrong? Was He wrong when He said we will be persecuted by people because we live for Christ and because we declare Him openly? NO GOD DID NOT GET IT WRONG!!!!
It is the devil who wants to make us believe we did something wrong by sharing the gospel openly and boldly. He wants to silence those who are weak and depend on themselves to make friendships rather than declaring the word of the Lord. This "friendship evangelism" is not commanded by God, it is a ploy of the devil to make people feel ashamed when they share the gospel and someone becomes angry at us for it.
The people I know depending on friendship evangelism never get around to sharing the gospel, they are continually compromising the Word and smiling through all the sin to influence anyone for Christ.
James 4:4 "You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God."
What part of "do not be friends with the world" do we not understand. We can see that the psychology of being friends with the world first will make them like us and like God comes from the devil himself. It makes people weak and ashamed of Jesus Christ.
Romans 12:2
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
We cannot remain friends with the world without becoming like them.
1 Corinthians 15:33-34 " 33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 34 Sober up as you ought, and stop sinning; for some of you are ignorant of God. I say this to your shame.…"
The more time we spend with the unsaved in friendships the more we are tainted by their way of thinking, their way of acting, and worst of all we become silent about Christ.
Proverbs 28:1 "1 The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion."
We choose the friends that make us comfortable, if we love the world we will choose friends who love the world. If we love Christ we will choose friends who love Christ.
When we love Christ it is very hard to tolerate the foolishness of unsaved people. We must speak of Christ or we will feel frustrated that we were lazy and allowed the unsaved to walk away thinking we approved of their lives without Him.
We are the light with Christ living in us we must walk as the light that chases away the darkness. When we speak we ought to speak as the oracles of God, it will either draw people to Christ or it will chase them away, in either case, this is their choice and has nothing to do with us, it has to do with Christ.
John 1:4-5 "…4 In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. 5 The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
We must not fear the reactions of men, we must desire the truth of Christ above all relationships. If we maintain a friendship with an unbeliever, neglecting the gospel, hoping someone will ask about Christ then we are weak and self-focused.
Allow the Holy Spirit to lead us is the only course for the born-again believer. Do not use human ideas and mantras, use the Bible and guidance of the Holy Spirit, in this we cannot go wrong.
