How many of you have experienced this in your walk? You were sinners, rejected by believers because you were not saved while no one in your circle of friends and family who were believers, spoke to you about Christ, out of concern for you eternity. In fact at family gatherings Christ was never mentioned even though the family were church goers and lived seemingly outward moral lives.
You were considered unworthy of love because you were in sin without Christ. You admired the Christians you knew, because they had all the "right" answers and lived "morally" or so you thought they were very good people.
After becoming born again God lifted the scales from your eyes and you suddenly saw them differently. They were self righteous, they hated you worse after you became born again because you grew "too intense" about the Scriptures. You wanted to talk about Christ and base everything you said and did on the Word of God. Much of what they said was unscriptural and worldly, when you would correct them, they would become angry, having no desire to check anything against the Bible. Their sense of superiority caused almost a mild rage to surface whenever they were challenged, being corrected by the person they looked down upon was more than they could stand.
Often pretenders have lived decent lives most of their existence, they didn't steal or murder or act immorally, allowing pride to develop in their hearts that couldn't tolerate even mildly, the suggestion that they might be wrong about something. In other words, they never saw themselves as sinners and were never broken over their sinfulness because their outer lives that people could see, were pretty good. But inside their hearts were just as black as those who were living wickedly. The difference is that the pretender lived wickedly in their hearts and the other sinners were living wickedly openly.
Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."
Matthew 15:8 "'THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME."
The pretenders have regressed in their walk and accept things now that they would not have accepted earlier in their lives. They have maligned your reputation based on what they saw before you was saved, and maintained that view of you, that no longer exists. They prefer to keep you in a one down position by negating that Christ has made a change in you. Often pretenders love their superficiality, they maintain a facade of sorts, but lack the love that Christ commanded us to have for one another.
They have excluded you from fellowship by mixing with each other and leaving you out. I think we have seen the difference between those who are pretenders living morally to impress someone and the true believer who lives morally because they have been changed into a new creation by Christ.
Those who love Christ have a love for the brethren that surpasses human love. When they see that someone has been changed into a new creation, they recognize the change and rejoice with them feeling a new connection to them, that is a spiritual heavenly bond.
1 John 3:14 "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death."
If you have experienced this, then you are in good company. Many born again blood bought believers who have been dramatically changed by Christ, are rejected more as a new believer, by church goers, than they were when they were unsaved. They feel safe with the unsaved, because those who are not born again don't expect anything out of them and they can appear superior to them.
A possible answer for this might be that pretenders are usually self righteous and arrogant. They PRIDE themselves on how good they are and look down their noses at the unsaved. However, when someone who is lost and becomes born again with a fire in their heart that surpasses the pretender, the pretender shuns, this "new you", it is convicting to them, jealousy emerges and forms of subtle revenge begin to rear its ugly head.
Everyone who has seen this happen knows what it looks like. Some may remember thinking that now that they have become born again, the believers will like them and they will be accepted into the body with great joy, often the reverse is true. Keep in mind that the world we live in now, if full of mostly pretenders. God says that most who claim to be believers have not trusted Christ and are living a lie. They are basing their Christianity on tradition and works that make them look good, there is little faith and much haughtiness.
Matthew 7:21-23 "21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
I write about this subject to encourage those who have been hit, in blindsided fashion, early in their walk with Christ, with dismissal from pretenders. I also write this to challenge those who might be pretenders to take a good look at their own heart to see if they have ever become born again.
May the Lord encourage the down hearted who have been rejected for their faith and removed the scales of the eyes of those who have an elevated view of their own importance.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Praise is For God
Many years ago the Lord warned me about the self esteem teaching that became standard operating practice in all the public school systems. When our children came home with papers talking about loving themselves, I quickly sprang into lecture mode to show them that loving themselves was not the objective in life. Sadly, we see that we have lost the next generation, they have been infected with the pride monster, the public schools managed to ruin an entire generation of people who now become angry when they are correct or simply not worshiped.
Even more disturbing than the public schools fostering this form of self worship, the churches began to teach it too, in many different forms, from excessive praise to absence of clear correction.
When I would explain to church goers that self esteem was not of God, they argued bitterly with me on the subject and treated me with contempt for the assertion that man was not created to love himself, but rather to love God. Before I was proficient in the Scriptures, I knew this self esteem teaching was evil and worse, devastating to spiritual well being. Those who knew the Bible better than I did, didn't seem to know this was wrong.
This morning I heard a secular "family expert", explaining all the damage this self esteem teaching has done to children and that it has created a firestorm of narcissism out of control. Sadly, the church has not learned this yet, but the secular counselors are coming to the conclusion based on what they are seeing in our culture. Those who are infected with the disease of narcissism are incapable of loving anyone, they lack empathy, kindness and self reflection.
Disrespect for authority and elders has become commonplace, while disregard for them entirely has increased.
For years we have been hearing "good job" every time a child performed the slightest act of obedience. If a child was told to tie their shoe, the were praised. When a child brought in the groceries, they were excessively praised and even rewarded with a special treat for doing what should have been an act of duty gone unnoticed. A simple thank you should have sufficed, but the parent desiring to be seen as an encourager, lavished excessive praise, notice it is more for their own good feelings than it is for what the child needs.
The children have learned to expect praise even when they do not perform as they should. Teachers have given good marks simply because the child turned in their work it didn't matter if the assignment was done well, only that it was done at all.
All of this excessive praise has created an attitude of entitlement. Many people expect to be noticed and praised for the slightest good deed or job done well. When I see the videos on Youtube, following a good deed doer around, filming this good deed doer taking care of the needs of the homeless, I feel ill. If a good deed doer really is concerned about the homeless, they will do it without anyone's notice and no fan fare.
We can tell when someone is loving genuinely, they don't wait for a special occasion or outward sign in front of others for their acts of kindness. Those who love the Lord feel no need to be praised for their deeds, they are content to just be in obedience to the Lord.
When praise is constant, the child tunes out the parents, not valuing the praise even becoming contemptuous of it because even a child knows when something is fake. Soon the child begins to distrust other things the parent says.
Think about it.....how many times do you hear "good job" in reference to a child in your town when you are out and about? I hear it all the time, it is becoming almost nauseating. Children need to be taught to do good acts regularly without being noticed. When they open a door for an elderly person, it should be enough for the child to know that they did what was right and blessed someone else.
The temptation to praise a child constantly is a demon we must resist. We have all been so brainwashed into what we call "encouragement" that we forget what true encouragement looks like.
It is encouraging a child when we teach the right thing to do and explain that they are capable of doing what is right, they must choose to do the right thing over following their own personal desires.
It is encouragement to tell a child "you can do a better job than that, go and redo it."
As a culture we have misunderstood praise as encouragement. Praise does not help those who are learning. When we instruct a child to do something and they do it, then we can say; "you did that right, keep going."
Teaching our children to love and expect praise is indulging their inner selfishness. Praise is like a drug, the more we get the more we want, it should be used sparingly with honesty and integrity.
We might want to do a Bible study on praise, I notice that all the verses concerning praise have to do with our attitude toward God, praising Him.
John 12:41-43
"41 Isaiah was referring to Jesus when he said this, because he saw the future and spoke of the Messiah’s glory. 42 Many people did believe in him, however, including some of the Jewish leaders. But they wouldn’t admit it for fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. 43 For they loved human praise more than the praise of God."
Our culture has praised ad nauseam for many years now, not to help the child but to appear as a good parent in the eyes of the world. It was all about appearances for the parent rather than the well being of the child.
My hope is that believers will open their eyes to this deception before they ruin their children through the false teaching of self esteem.
The kindest thing we can do for our children is teach them confidence, that they can obey and follow Christ and the rewards from God that occur when they do this. They will live much more fulfilled lives when they are capable of learning if they are not arrogant.
Self esteem fosters arrogance and arrogance impedes learning, after all, if a child thinks they are already wonderful no matter what they do, they have no need to learn, they can just "follow their feelings." This thinking will cause them to be ignorant and foolish their entire lives.
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;"
Proverbs 12:1 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, But he who hates reproof is stupid."
Even more disturbing than the public schools fostering this form of self worship, the churches began to teach it too, in many different forms, from excessive praise to absence of clear correction.
When I would explain to church goers that self esteem was not of God, they argued bitterly with me on the subject and treated me with contempt for the assertion that man was not created to love himself, but rather to love God. Before I was proficient in the Scriptures, I knew this self esteem teaching was evil and worse, devastating to spiritual well being. Those who knew the Bible better than I did, didn't seem to know this was wrong.
This morning I heard a secular "family expert", explaining all the damage this self esteem teaching has done to children and that it has created a firestorm of narcissism out of control. Sadly, the church has not learned this yet, but the secular counselors are coming to the conclusion based on what they are seeing in our culture. Those who are infected with the disease of narcissism are incapable of loving anyone, they lack empathy, kindness and self reflection.
Disrespect for authority and elders has become commonplace, while disregard for them entirely has increased.
For years we have been hearing "good job" every time a child performed the slightest act of obedience. If a child was told to tie their shoe, the were praised. When a child brought in the groceries, they were excessively praised and even rewarded with a special treat for doing what should have been an act of duty gone unnoticed. A simple thank you should have sufficed, but the parent desiring to be seen as an encourager, lavished excessive praise, notice it is more for their own good feelings than it is for what the child needs.
The children have learned to expect praise even when they do not perform as they should. Teachers have given good marks simply because the child turned in their work it didn't matter if the assignment was done well, only that it was done at all.
All of this excessive praise has created an attitude of entitlement. Many people expect to be noticed and praised for the slightest good deed or job done well. When I see the videos on Youtube, following a good deed doer around, filming this good deed doer taking care of the needs of the homeless, I feel ill. If a good deed doer really is concerned about the homeless, they will do it without anyone's notice and no fan fare.
We can tell when someone is loving genuinely, they don't wait for a special occasion or outward sign in front of others for their acts of kindness. Those who love the Lord feel no need to be praised for their deeds, they are content to just be in obedience to the Lord.
When praise is constant, the child tunes out the parents, not valuing the praise even becoming contemptuous of it because even a child knows when something is fake. Soon the child begins to distrust other things the parent says.
Think about it.....how many times do you hear "good job" in reference to a child in your town when you are out and about? I hear it all the time, it is becoming almost nauseating. Children need to be taught to do good acts regularly without being noticed. When they open a door for an elderly person, it should be enough for the child to know that they did what was right and blessed someone else.
The temptation to praise a child constantly is a demon we must resist. We have all been so brainwashed into what we call "encouragement" that we forget what true encouragement looks like.
It is encouraging a child when we teach the right thing to do and explain that they are capable of doing what is right, they must choose to do the right thing over following their own personal desires.
It is encouragement to tell a child "you can do a better job than that, go and redo it."
As a culture we have misunderstood praise as encouragement. Praise does not help those who are learning. When we instruct a child to do something and they do it, then we can say; "you did that right, keep going."
Teaching our children to love and expect praise is indulging their inner selfishness. Praise is like a drug, the more we get the more we want, it should be used sparingly with honesty and integrity.
We might want to do a Bible study on praise, I notice that all the verses concerning praise have to do with our attitude toward God, praising Him.
John 12:41-43
"41 Isaiah was referring to Jesus when he said this, because he saw the future and spoke of the Messiah’s glory. 42 Many people did believe in him, however, including some of the Jewish leaders. But they wouldn’t admit it for fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. 43 For they loved human praise more than the praise of God."
Our culture has praised ad nauseam for many years now, not to help the child but to appear as a good parent in the eyes of the world. It was all about appearances for the parent rather than the well being of the child.
My hope is that believers will open their eyes to this deception before they ruin their children through the false teaching of self esteem.
The kindest thing we can do for our children is teach them confidence, that they can obey and follow Christ and the rewards from God that occur when they do this. They will live much more fulfilled lives when they are capable of learning if they are not arrogant.
Self esteem fosters arrogance and arrogance impedes learning, after all, if a child thinks they are already wonderful no matter what they do, they have no need to learn, they can just "follow their feelings." This thinking will cause them to be ignorant and foolish their entire lives.
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;"
Proverbs 12:1 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, But he who hates reproof is stupid."
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