Luke 17:3-5 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!"
No one has greater character by forgiving those who are offensive. No one mends a relationship by forgiving those who refuse to be sorry enough to change their behavior. There is nothing noble in forgiving differently than God forgives.
No one becomes bitter because a rebellious offender will not be sorry and they must withhold forgiveness. We pray for the offender, and according to God's word, we remove ourselves so the stubborn offender will not influence our own character.
Psychology says to forgive so you won't be bitter, but God says not to forgive so that you are not tempted to become like the offender. Psychology often works against God's word because it was developed by men who observed behavior but came to their own conclusions about the cure.
Psychology does get it right about what evil mankind does, but it does not get the answers to the problem correctly. The problem is sin, and the reason is rejection of Christ.
God's ways often fly in the face of the culture around us. This is the reason those who love Christ and seek to obey His word are rejected by the culture, their communities, and their families.
When we are steeped every day in the word of God, the ways of the world become glaringly absent of good sense.
Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you."
How has God forgiven the born-again believer? This way;
1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness".
Repentance will bring about a change of heart; it demonstrates a sadness at having harmed someone and a desire for God to change their character.
Isaiah 55:7 "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon."
Our relationship with God cannot be restored without repentance, and our relationship with others cannot be restored without confession of sin.
Psychology has perverted the way in which relationships are restored, leaving many people demanding to be forgiven when they are never contrite with a broken heart, deeply sorrowful over their offenses.
It is only sorrow for sin that brings about a changed character and actions. Christ will not cleanse those who don't think they need cleansing.
1 John 1:8-10 "…8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar, and His word is not in us."
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