2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
The covert narcissist lacks "generational boundaries", in other words they have no respect or honor for elders or those who have had much more experience in life than they have. Since they are deeply committed to self exaltation they cannot accept anyone as over them in any way.
These people tend to think they are equal with or above everyone, no matter their experience level. They will feel superior to those who have much more experience than they do, because they tend to think of themselves as "all knowing." How can someone who feels elevated to everyone else ever submit to God they cannot see?
It is impossible to reason with such a person, their elevated view of themselves prevents any self reflection or regret about anything they say or do. It is as if pulling teeth to get them to discuss anything. Their first response to a request to discuss a matter is to fight, argue and demean to gain the higher position. There is no semblance of rational, logical or levelheaded attempt at resolving anything and no sense whatever of concern for the one who wishes to settle a matter on amicable and loving terms. There will never be an apology for an offense nor will there be an admission of wrong. Tenderness, emotional vulnerability and compassion are seen as weakness to these types.
Narcissists are hyper sensitive to criticism, correction or instruction since they have elevated themselves above everyone except those they perceive to be the experts. Then they feel superior for having known the "expert."
There are emotional outbursts that seem irrational, since the smallest disagreement will send them into a sense that they have been attacked. Every challenge no matter how small is seen as a personal attack, rather than a chance to learn something or to grow.
These people accuse others of doing what they are doing but the others are not, one of the favored tactics of the devil.
The devils most effective and used maneuver is to accuse others of things they are not doing to unnerve them. If he can keep the believer in a continual state of trying to explain and defend themselves, he diverts their attention from the things God has for him to do, while causing the victim to feel a sense of helplessness.
When we see this happening, we need to pray for the Lord to intervene, while we remove ourselves. If you remember verse 5 of 2 Timothy 3, we are told to get away from those who will never admit their sin and will never apologize, they will only continue their covert tactics keeping us preoccupied with drama and foolishness.
I write about this a lot because there is so much more of this going on than ever before in this age of "self esteem." People in general are becoming more rude, mean, self righteous and down right antagonistic over the silliest things. If we know God's response to it and what He expects of us, we can effectively protect ourselves and others from those who have love only for themselves.
God says this to those who operate from this mentality of selfishness:
John 8:44 "You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
The key to all of this is to know our Bibles, pray continually for the Holy Spirit to lead in everything and be willing to walk away from destructive relationships that attempt to deter us from the principles of God.
1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
When we are in continual frustration we are focused on our own feelings rather than on Christ, this is exactly where the devil wants us.......distracted. We can be sure that these tactics and attempts to ruin us will increase as we move through these ends times. We don't have to give into it, we can be strong in Christ, walking as we should no matter who or what comes against us.
If our mind is being continually renewed and strengthened, we will not fall into the devil's trap.
Romans 12:2 "2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
Ephesians 4:27 "…26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity."
1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
2 Corinthians 4:4 "In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."
John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
James 1:13-15 "Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."
God does not want us to place anyone on a pedestal whose opinion takes priority over God's principles. When we see someone who is attempting to destroy our peace through evil tactics, then we can head it off by honoring God His way, resolving to be willing to lose that which does not enhance our walk with Christ.
We can move on to those who want to hear, those who may be open. We must avoid the pitfalls of remaining continually in the lives of those who would work to undermine our spiritual growth and our walk with Christ. NO ONE takes priority over Christ EVER!
Matthew 10:13-15 "…13"If the house is worthy, give it your blessing of peace. But if it is not worthy, take back your blessing of peace. 14"Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet. 15"Truly I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city."
Of course the verses in Matthew above are referring to bringing the gospel to a town, but the principle of removing ourselves from people who would only fight with us, is still applicable. Christ never followed or became close friends with the Pharisees who rejected Him, and neither should we.
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