"The problem with nostalgia is what we tend to do is only remember what you liked and you forget the parts you didn't like."
Mr. Edwards got it partially right, often children forget what their parents did that was good and a blessing, while remembering what they didn't like. However the things they didn't like were not based on knowledge or wisdom, but rather on their childish desires and a rebellious nature along with only scanty partial knowledge of circumstances.
They like to say, "you ALWAYS did this or that", when that event happened once or twice in 18 years. Children have selective memories especially when they are in revolt against authority.
It is human nature to interpret information of the past based on how we felt rather than the all the details of the event. There is even a propensity to interpret things in terms of our personal feelings about what happened rather than the actual events themselves.
Another interesting phenomena is the inclination to remember things based on how we would act, thinking that everyone else acts that way too. A narcissist believes everyone is lying because he/she lies. A narcissist accuses others of affairs because the narcissist fantasizes about affairs. A narcissist will accuse us of the very things they are doing or would like to do, because they believe everyone else does or thinks the same way they do. One of the biggest "tells" of the narcissist is what he/she accuses others of doing or being.
Memories are faulty at best, often being evaluated on an impressions and assumptions rather than accurate factual information.
When there is resistance to hearing from those who have been wrongly evaluated, there is a deliberate desire to believe falsehood. When we love truth, we seek to discover the reasons for actions, the reasons for expressions rather than jump at the inclination toward our own feelings.
The saddest of all situations is when false memories drive someone to turn others against those whom they have judged.
Not only does the narcissist contrive their own interpretation of events, they must work to cause others to reject their target. Because their motives are not pure and honest, there is the need in themselves to gather groups of people on their team of haters.
The narcissist is never satisfied with hating all by themselves, they must gain the praise and empathy of others toward their deceptive and fictitious cause of self exaltation. Only through the ability to ruin the one for whom they have the greatest contempt will they be satisfied.
Proverbs 18:2-4 "…2 A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind. 3 When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes, And with dishonor comes scorn. 4 The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; The fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.…"
One of the clues of the unrepentant contemptuous heart is the love of gossip and the lack of interest in finding the truth.
2 Timothy 3 describes these types and instructs us what to do about them. When we have to encounter them, then we act with the mind of Christ, depending on Him to work in us, on our behalf, until we can escape them, as is commanded in verse 5 of this passage.
2 Timothy 3:5 "5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Turn away from such as these!"
Matthew 7:6
"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."
Proverbs 23:22
"Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old."
When we see the Scripture being violated on a regular basis with frequency and contempt, then we are to remove ourselves until Christ tells us when to resume again with someone like this. We may find ourselves never returning to the company of these people. As long as they remain in rebellion against God, working nothing but trouble because of that rebellion, then we must obey God and stay away.
The phrase, "from such turn away", is not a suggestion but a command. We bring unnecessary trials on ourselves by disobeying this mandate of God, even perhaps thwarting the lesson God has for them by remaining. If these people are to come into our lives again, that is God's business, in the mean time we need to be very discerning through the Holy Spirit.
2 Chronicles 36:16
"but they continually mocked the messengers of God, despised His words and scoffed at His prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against His people, until there was no remedy."
We must ask ourselves the question; "DO I LOVE CHRIST MORE THAN ANY OTHER PERSON." If we find ourselves compromising the principles of God because of another human being, then we must repent and start again to trust Christ alone.
We must love people God's way, if we do that then Christ will always come before any other relationship. If the relationship cannot last because of Christ, then we choose Christ over that relationship.
2 Peter 3:3
"Know this first of all, that in the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their own lusts,"
2 Peter 2:10
"and especially those who indulge the flesh in its corrupt desires and despise authority. Daring, self-willed, they do not tremble when they revile angelic majesties,"
There are those that we cannot get away from, an employer or co-workers, a spouse or children still living in the home, but we can continue to act the way the Holy Spirit leads in spite of their presence, while allowing their tantrums to roll off our backs the way water rolls off of a ducks back. It is possible to live like this until Christ removes us or them and do it with great joy and freedom in the Spirit.
People, no matter how much we love them must never be our idols.
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