When a narcissist lies, they will choose a situation in which you cannot prove they are lying. You will hear words like:
"I didn't say that" or "I didn't do that" when you clearly without a doubt witnessed their words and their deeds. This is called "gaslighting" in which they want you to believe you got it all wrong.
They will claim you have done the things you didn't do, that they have done but pretend they never did it.
Narcissists' end game is to make their target look insane, irrational, and foolish in their decisions.
The narcissists I have encountered were master liars while being covertly mean to cause a reaction, they play the victim because of your reaction.
When we find out someone is like this it is best to remove ourselves from them. There will be continual drama based on unfounded accusations against their target.
Those who are overt or covert narcissists are inherently angry people. These people are steeped in pride and anger because they are heavily and easily influenced by the devil. Jealousy is often the motive behind their actions. Just as the devil was jealous of God so too is the narcissist of their target.
"Overt" meaning openly without hiding.
"Covert" meaning sneaking and hidden.
The devil is the father of lies, he convinces the narcissist that they can do no wrong, leaving a trail of broken relationships wherever they go. He prevents the narcissist from developing truly close and lasting relationships through the tactics that destroy anyone who lives a happy fulfilled life.
If the devil can prevent close relationships he can keep someone stuck in their sin and lies while using them to destroy others.
The jealousy of the narcissist is so irrational that those who have less than the narcissist does will be a target merely for their happiness.
Proverbs 22:24-25 "24 Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, 25or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.…"
Proverbs 15:18
"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger calms dispute."
Those who love the Lord and love others as God said we should, do not play the games of the self-exalted narcissist. If they cannot be superior to others they will attempt to bring the others down rather than lift themselves up, born again believers do not act like this.
The narcissist's superiority is based on nothing more than their own minds. They have nothing outside of their imagination to indicate they deserve elevated status.
We read about this in the Bible. The devil thought he could be like God. He attempted to overthrow God only to be cast down by God. He had no power over God but was sure that he had that power. He was convinced in his own mind that he was superior to God.
Notice something interesting about the status of the devil. He was the most powerful and beautiful angel in heaven above every other angel, but that was not enough for him.
When the devil was cast down by God he was not satisfied or convinced he had lost. He set out to ruin those God loved by fooling them into believing they could be like God. Since the devil could not overthrow God he went after God's children as well as those who were not yet saved, to prevent the influence of the believer as well as the salvation of new people repenting to trust in Christ.
Revelation 12:7-12
The Angel, Michael
7 And there was war in heaven, Michael and his angels waging war with the dragon. The dragon and his angels waged war,
8 and they did not prevail, and there was no longer a place found for them in heaven.
9 And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.
10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying,
“Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down, the one who accuses them before our God day and night.
11 And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even [b]when faced with death.
12 For this reason, rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them. Woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has come down to you with great wrath, knowing that he has only a short time.”
The devil will tempt us to do sinful things and then accuse us of evil for doing them. This is the same tactic of the narcissist who is controlled by the devil. They will prod and provoke their target and when the target becomes irritated they will accuse them of being out of control.
When we know the tactics and their contempt toward us we can resist reacting, remove ourselves and pray for their souls.
Proverbs 29:8-10 "…8 Mockers inflame a city, but the wise turn away anger. 9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"
The proverb here clearly shows that when someone is a narcissist there is no resolution to anything. They refuse to listen, they refuse to consider and they will retaliate if we try to show them another side.
Narcissists are people of bloodshed even if they never spill any blood. They have murder in their heart merely by their hatred toward their target.
1 John 3:15 "Everyone who hates his brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him."
Someone who regularly demonstrates narcissistic tendencies is not born again. These people lack the fruit of the Spirit, which can be seen by those who possess the Holy Spirit.
Matthew 7:15-20
You Will Know Them by Their Fruit
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them."
What is the fruit? The fruit are the character qualities of Christ that can only be discerned by those who have the Holy Spirit, they are Spiritual qualities that drive our attitudes and actions.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
We can know the heart of a person by their fruit or lack of it. God gave us the criteria so that we would be able to know who is born again and who is not, who can be trusted and who can not.
Do not ignore the signs, we can know whether to give the gospel to someone or to connect with them as brothers and sisters, based on their fruit or lack of it.
God does not want us to be close friends with wicked people no matter whether or not they claim to be Christian.
1 Corinthians 15:33 "33Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.”"
When we spend a lot of time with someone we become like them without even realizing it. A born again believer ought to be very uncomfortable with pretenders who do not love God or His Word. If we are walking with Christ the unbelieving pretender ought to be very uncomfortable with us.
When we sense that something is "off' with someone we ought to go to prayer so the Holy Spirit can explain the inner warning from the Holy Spirit. If we ignore the Holy Spirit He will stop speaking and we will be stuck with the consequences of our disobedience.
1 Thessalonians 5:19…"18 Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not extinguish the Spirit. 20 Do not treat prophecies with contempt,…"
Ephesians 4:30
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."
It grieves the Holy Spirit when we enjoy the companionship of those who hate Him. Our choice of friends reveals something about us.
Something to think about!!!!
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