The tactics of a narcissist can be very subtle, even causing guilt in us when the guilt should really be on them. Here is a little story that demonstrates this principle.
I knew of a woman who would leave out an ingredient when someone would ask her for the recipe for her special dish.
When anyone would ask for the recipe from something she made this woman would leave out one ingredient so that no one else would be able to make the dish as well as she had made it. She did this openly, even telling people she did this.
This same woman would ask for someone else's recipe and make sure they did not leave out an ingredient. She expected others to give her what she would not give them, the entire recipe so that everyone could enjoy making a special dish.
Leaving out a piece of a recipe is a small matter we can all laugh off, perhaps even replacing the missing ingredient with something else, its really not very important to us. However, the fact that someone feels a need to leave out an ingredient does demonstrate a character flaw in those who are worried about being special and superior.
Normal secure people when asked for a recipe would be flattered and happy to make sure the one receiving the recipe would know exactly how it was made so her product could turn out as good as she thought her friends was. The purpose of giving the recipe was so that her friend could enjoy the dish at home the same way she enjoyed it at her friends home.
Sadly, the narcissist wants to make sure no one can do something as well or better than they can. If they cannot be superior they feel inferior.
When a believer is secure within themselves without competition toward others they are free to share anything they have without worry about someone else matching pitch with them or even excelling over them.
When we love someone we want them to succeed in all that they do. We have no concern that they may surpass us in a skill or accomplishment, we are happy for them when they have achieved something that brings them joy. We are even secure enough to say to our friend, "you are better at this than I was", with a sense of glee.
The born-again believer has great joy when others succeed, even relishing the accomplishment with those they love.
Colossians 3:12-14
12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also. 14 In addition to all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity."
What a blessed day it will be when we are all at the marriage supper of the Lamb enjoying one another without jealousy and competitiveness. Only pure love and encouragement will be at this special feast.
Proverbs 18:24
"24 A person of too many friends comes to [a]ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
The one who enjoys your accomplishments is rare indeed, he/she is the one who will stick by you in thick and thin. Hallelujah!
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