In the matter of the teaching of self esteem and the belief that all human beings are basically good; sadly many Christians live as though they seriously believe these things but claim they don't. If we want to know what someone really believes, watch their life to see how it fleshes out. The words are easy, but the proof is in the living.
When we see a family who says they believe in discipline but do it sparingly, while attempting to reason with a small child, ending up giving in to the child, we have witnessed someone who has allowed the child to be in control. That same child will grow up lacking respect and honor for the parent who does this, but also for any other authority in their life. The parent who disciplines will be disdained by the children when the other parent negates that discipline.
It is human nature for children and people in general to take the easy route, aligning themselves with those who allow them to be disobedient, rude and disrespectful. No matter how many others are obeying God in discipline, the child who is pampered by one parent, will take the side of the lenient parent.
All we have to do to prove this point is watch our culture all around us while most parents treat their children as equals and undermine anyone around them that would require obedience.
The liberal parents of today in the United States, are the norm. Children show little honor and respect to those that are their elders. In our day, all adults were allowed to chastise anyone's child. Now we are told to mind our own business, or the parent of the disorderly child comforts the child when another adult corrects them. In these cases it is the lenient parents who are disobedient and disorderly. They are more concerned about the child adoring them, than they are about the future results of coddling a child.
Proverbs 13:24 "He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently."
So many parents these days don't realize they are fostering an independent rebellious attitude in their child when they comfort them after they have been corrected by another adult. Not to mention they are teaching the child to disrespect that particular adult.
It is my hope that there are Christian young people raising children who are seeking God through His Word for their life perspective, caring more about the spiritual well being of their child than they do about being accepted by the culture or liked by their children. Children do not enjoy discipline but they know when they deserve it and they know that it is love. They might not be able to express it, but they still know it.
I have heard the testimonies of adults who say they didn't think their parent loved them because they never place any restrictions or rules on them, and they never remember being disciplined by them.
When we pay little or no attention to what our children are doing, they perceive it for what it is, lack of love or caring, even though these adult children know it was not loving or caring they remain in their rebellion because it was how they were trained.
Children know when we are frantically doing what is expedient to get the child out of our hair. They also know when we take the time to discipline and speak often with them, that we care deeply about them.
When we allow rebellion and even coddling when they are naughty, we are training them to operate in continual resistance to teaching and correction. They will carry this burden through their entire lives, even destroying relationships because of their resistance to compliance.
Children who have been raised liberally on independence from authority, will not recognize love when it is shown them. Because they have been ignored and coddles, they will grow up thinking that love is merely giving someone whatever they want, never chastising, teaching or correcting. These people are at risk of being sucked into the liberal world, easily influence by anyone who accepts everything they do without challenge. They tend to destroy real relationships in favor of those who don't care one wit about them.
The most successful adults have been those who were trained to obey authority, follow the rules and respect the opinion of their elders. These adults are hard workers, possess ingenuity while being productive at whatever they do in life.
Do you love your child God's way, or is your love superficial and selfish?
1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins."
God loves so deeply that He disciplines His children to bring them to a place of obedience that they might prosper in life and spiritually. He is our example to follow in raising our children.
Hebrews 12:6 "FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES, AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES."
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