This morning my husband and I were having coffee in front of
the living room window, enjoying the sun peaking through the fog on this cold
winter day.
The discussion was on the marriage vows and the state of the
world we live in. We are of the old school, that marriage is for life and that
we are to take care of one another no matter what the hardship.
We remembered the foolishness of Pat Robertson when he took
a question to answer on his show and advised a man to leave his wife.
The man who wrote the letter was asking Robertson if it was
alright to leave his wife who had alzheimers to marry his girlfriend. Robertson
answer that the wife was not really there anyway, she was like a dead person,
therefore it was alright to divorce his wife, as long as he took care of her
hospital needs, and marry his girl friend.
Never at any time did Robertson call what the man was doing
"adultery." I was so agitated at his answer that I wanted to go to
the back yard and scream out to the trees, the hateful injustice of this answer
from a man who is revered by thousands of people all over the world. It was a travesty
at best.
I would have asked the man with the inquiry, a number of
important questions, the first one being, "what does God say." Then I
would have answered with the words "in sickness and in health til death do
us part." The answer would include all the scriptures about adultery and
other scriptures having to do with self sacrifice.
The incredible wickedness of a man who would abandon his
wife during her hardship, is despicable. More questions I would have asked
would have been to the other woman, "what makes you think this man would
stand by you in hardship when he cannot remain faithful with his first
wife." Another question would have been to the man, "what kind of
woman would want a man to abandon his ailing wife in favor of his fling in the
sheets with her, while his wife is dying.
Can either of these selfish individuals make a good
"new" marriage? First we have to understand that when this man
divorces his wife, it does not sever the oneness that God created in them at
marriage and even though he marries another by the law of the land, he remains
in adultery with the other woman.
Robertson gave evil advice based on physical desire rather
than on God's Word and His standard and principles.
Robertson removed the necessary guilt that leads one to
repentance. He also endorsed fleshly selfishness while taking from the real
wife, her need for companionship.
Here is what I would have told the man with the question:
"God made you one in marriage, what you are doing now
is called adultery. Rather than stepping up to the plate to do the noble and
sacrificial thing, in caring for your wife, you are indulging in fleshly lust.
Your attitude toward you wife is hateful and mean." Then I would give him
all the scriptures that pertain to self-sacrifice and God's view of marriage.
Robertson was basing his opinion, using no Scripture at all,
on personal comfort and fleshly fulfillment.
This is one example of what happens when we are hiding the
real us all our lives and one day without realizing it, God allows the real us
to come forth in a big way.
Robertson was able to fool a lot of people for many years in
his ministry, we could not see what was really inside of him. As he got older,
God allowed his real self to emerge, exposing what he had been all his life. We
do not all of a sudden change in our old age, all that happens is that God
removes our ability to hide and exposes what our heart had been all along.
A clue that Robertson was a liar, was the prayer time when
he would look into the audience of thousands of people and declare that someone
"out there has cancer and is being healed right now." This was a huge
violation of Scripture, divination is forbidden by God. He was using the
standard technique of declaring a vague and general proclamation hoping that
there would be someone who would match his prophesy, and it is lying.
This happened to Billy Graham, as well as Robertson. They
were hiding inside who they really were until their old age exposed their real
heart intent. They no longer had the ability to mask or hide what was in their
heart, and their theology on the inside began to be exposed on the outside.
Both men were focused on fame and wealth, when they became
very well known and popular, they began to let down their guard and the real
self emerged. Graham spent a lifetime of compromise behind the scenes as did
Robertson, until they were convinced they could say and do anything and still
keep their following. They "went with the flow" of the culture.
It is best to ask the Lord to keep us in His will no matter
the hardship, that our real selves are the same on the inside as they are on
the outside. Eventually our old age will give us away, even if we don't know it
or want it.
When we become too old and feeble to keep up pretense, then
we will be exposed. People do not change as they get older, they merely are too
tired to pretend anymore.
What we are in our old age is what we were inside all of our
lives.
Do we become sweeter and kinder, or do we become angrier and
more selfish when we are too weary to keep up the deceit?
I have given no scripture here because the post is long, but
it is easy enough for each person to do their own research on these points.
Please do not look at commentaries, read God's Word and pray as you read.
One might want to look up words like; marriage,
selflessness, servant, put asunder, love, remain single, divorce, Love your
wife as Christ loved the church, lay down life for wife and other scriptures
pertaining to the attitude of the end times as written in Timothy.
In my answer to the man who was committing adultery, I would
have included this; "instead of going off with that other woman, you
should be spending every minute of every day with your wife until she dies, stroking
her hair feeding her, dressing her and talking to her. It doesn't matter if she
knows you or not, this is your duty and reasonable service to a life long
companion."
