The more we ignore the sins in our friends the more relaxed they are in doing them. This is how sin has grown in the church today. Far too many churches have neglected church discipline out of fear that some will leave.
I am convinced it is better to administer church discipline to those who are sinning, allowing those who are angry over it to leave. Those who remain because they love Christ more than people, will foster greater holiness in that body. Often these days "fewer" is better.
Matt. 18:15–17 ""If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. "
According to the Word of God we should be practicing church discipline not only for the good of the one sinning but for the rest of the body of Christ too.
Galatians 5:9 " 9 A little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough. 10 I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is troubling you will bear the judgment, whoever he may be."
1 Corinthians 5:6
"Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?"
There are those who think they have so much love that they will not make someone "feel bad", this is not love. It is the feeling bad about sin that restores those who are destroying their lives with sin.
2 Corinthians 7:8-9 "8 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Although I did regret it, I now see that my letter caused you sorrow, but only for a short time. 9 And now I rejoice, not because you were made sorrowful, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you felt the sorrow that God had intended, and so were not harmed in any way by us.…"
It is not love to watch a child run into the street and say and do nothing to stop him. It is not love to ignore that the child ran in the street and was almost hit by a car, and never discipline him to show him the severity of what he has done. The people that do not train their children properly according to the Bible or those that do not bring to light the sin of those in the body, are helping the sinner or the child walk to their doom.
The problem is that most "Christians" today do not take sin as seriously as it is. They think its nothing more than a bad choice. While it is a bad choice, its consequences are devastating for the soul that does not confess to be cleansed. God will bring His own consequences for a stubborn believer, even life long trials that will never be removed.
If we love our brethren we speak of the sin we see so that they will learn to confess to turn. In this process it also influences others in the body not to do the same thing. We only avoid things when we know they have consequences.
Today in the churches we have many people who are shacking up as though its as normal as marriage. Where did they ever get the idea that this was alright with God. I'll tell you, they got the idea that God doesn't care about sin because others in the body of Christ are ignoring it, even celebrating it as though it is as normal and natural as eating or sleeping. The silent, apathetic and prideful church is complicit in this lax and abominable neglect of God's truth and standards.
The churches of our day are prideful that they have fostered a lazy attitude toward sin, they call this love. It is not love, it is only love of self but hatred toward those they claim to love. When we have no regard for the eternal condition of our brothers and sisters in Christ, then we are hating not loving.
Proverbs 10:17 "17 Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray."
Proverbs 12:1 "1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid."
Proverbs 13:1 "1 A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not respond to rebukes."
Proverbs 22:15 "15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away."
This last verse describes a child, however this applies to adults in the church too, we do not use a rod to discipline adults, we use the sword, the Sword of the Spirit, that is the Word of God. If they refuse to listen then we remove ourselves, turning them over to Satan to be buffeted.
Revelation 3:19 "19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent."
It has been my observation that the adults who hate church discipline the most tend to be "flying monkeys", they do the bidding of those who are sinning, right there to be available to support the sinner in their wrecklessness.
Romans 1:31-32 "…31 They are senseless, faithless, heartless, merciless. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things are worthy of death, they not only continue to do these things, but also approve of those who practice them."
If you love your brothers and sisters in Christ you will speak truth and administer discipline when they will not listen. When they return confessing to be cleansed and desire to be restored, then you take them back with big hugs and encouragement. The goal of the discipline is not to beat up on someone to think like you do. The goal is to help them return to obedience to Christ. Then full fellowship will be restored and both can go on together stronger than before.
Church discipline is never based on gossip or guesses. Its based on witnesses and facts. This is important, there are those now who will falsely accuse others of wrong doing when they didn't see anything significant but "presume" something based on little to no evidence. These people are gossips and are sinning in their contrived assumptions.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 25:8
"Do not hastily bring into court, for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame?"
2 Peter 3:16-17
"16 as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction. 17 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness,"
There are those that would judge others based on their own desired interpretation of the Scriptures and not on truth. They may bring accusations of wrong doing when there is no wrong doing. Everything must be done with facts in hand, witnesses, the word of God and prayer.
When someone punishes a believer based on guesses and their desired belief about someone, then we are to ignore this person and remain faithful to truth. There are trouble makers in the church who are jealous and petty, who are happy to bring gossip to ruin others. I have also seen this happen.
2 Corinthians 12:20 "20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder."
May the Lord guide in all things as we seek Him.
Saturday, April 27, 2019
How to Handle the Bully in Your Life
We are living in a world that feels more sorry for the bully than they do for the victim. Perhaps because so many people have bully tendencies now, they worry that one day they will be called to account for their less than godly responses to life.
1 John 2:9 "9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness."
Those who bully others are sinning and have only their own ego in mind. A kind and loving person never bullies. Any believer who becomes weak and finds that they have bullied is deeply sorry, confesses and does not repeat it.
2 Timothy 1:7 "7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."
Deuteronomy 31:6 "6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Ephesians 6:12 "12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
When we know the bully is being controlled by the devil, through his thought life, then we can be less likely to take it personally. When we take things personally we are more likely to react in ungodly ways in response to the harassment.
The Holy Spirit can give us complete calmness and peace in the middle of bullying. He can make an escape from it, but if not, then we remain clean in our responses.
Our conscience if far more important than fighting to get a bully to understand, they will not ever understand. It is the Holy Spirit that must speak to the bully and He can do that better than we can. Our silence and removal of our presence can allow the bully to hear from the Holy Spirit.
Never give food to the bully! The bully loves any response at all, even a positive one. No response at all leave the bully with only themselves to look at, they alone bear the brunt of their own foolishness.
The Holy Spirit may even lead us to "bless those who curse us." In the case of extreme narcissists this does not work, but with the garden variety bully who still may have a conscience can be reached by our blessing!
The key always is to hear from the Holy Spirit in whatever we do or not do when with a bully. I am so thankful that God knows what everyone needs all the time. And, the greatest blessing of all is that He can tell us.
John 16:13-14 " 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you.…'"
The ultimate goal of all responses is to glorify God. This will mean we have to be thinking with His mind instead of our own. We must ignore all "feelings" to follow truth.
1 John 2:9 "9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness."
Those who bully others are sinning and have only their own ego in mind. A kind and loving person never bullies. Any believer who becomes weak and finds that they have bullied is deeply sorry, confesses and does not repeat it.
2 Timothy 1:7 "7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."
Deuteronomy 31:6 "6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Ephesians 6:12 "12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
When we know the bully is being controlled by the devil, through his thought life, then we can be less likely to take it personally. When we take things personally we are more likely to react in ungodly ways in response to the harassment.
The Holy Spirit can give us complete calmness and peace in the middle of bullying. He can make an escape from it, but if not, then we remain clean in our responses.
Our conscience if far more important than fighting to get a bully to understand, they will not ever understand. It is the Holy Spirit that must speak to the bully and He can do that better than we can. Our silence and removal of our presence can allow the bully to hear from the Holy Spirit.
Never give food to the bully! The bully loves any response at all, even a positive one. No response at all leave the bully with only themselves to look at, they alone bear the brunt of their own foolishness.
The Holy Spirit may even lead us to "bless those who curse us." In the case of extreme narcissists this does not work, but with the garden variety bully who still may have a conscience can be reached by our blessing!
The key always is to hear from the Holy Spirit in whatever we do or not do when with a bully. I am so thankful that God knows what everyone needs all the time. And, the greatest blessing of all is that He can tell us.
John 16:13-14 " 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you.…'"
The ultimate goal of all responses is to glorify God. This will mean we have to be thinking with His mind instead of our own. We must ignore all "feelings" to follow truth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)