How Should We Be in these Terrible Times

2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears, they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…"

We are living in a culture that considers it rude and even a personal attack to be corrected, do not let this deter you from your path or the leading of the Holy Spirit.

There are going to be so few people telling the truth to help others see their need for Christ, that we will be viewed as strange for doing so. Never allow this to deter you from continuing to obey God.

There may also come a time when the loneliness for lack of companionship feels more like peace than abandonment. It is a struggle to attempt to keep happy those who refuse to turn to Christ. What a relief when God removes the narcissist for a time.

Peace is preferred to continual senseless drama, at least in my opinion. The world around us is working every day to shape us into their image, when we do not comply they attack, either overtly or covertly.

The world is all around us, in our extended families, in our communities, even in our homes. How does one deal with all this mess, especially if they cannot get away from it?

A suggestion or two may be of help to some of you. My suggestion is to pray continually, ignore insults since a response will only feed the narcissist escalating into an argument, this is the devil's plan.

Speak the truth and ignore the responses to it. DO NOT FIGHT BACK, but remove yourself for a time to gather your composure. The narcissist wants to fight their pokes are calculated and deliberate.

If the trouble maker claims to be a Christian repeat God's word without commentary. If God's word is rejected, say no more and go to prayer.

If we are to endure this wicked world full of devil who love conflict we are going to have to remain in prayer a lot, obey what God says and above all, ask the Lord to help you to be what He wants you to be, that His ways will be our ways.

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts."

We can only know what we should say and do if the Holy Spirit is saying and doing it through us.

It's Probably Not You!

I wrote this to a dear friend who has expressed what many are feeling, that is wondering what is wrong with them because they have few and sometimes no friends. Here was my answer to her.

" It's not you Sis, it's the culture of our time, the 2 Timothy 3 generation that has no interest in anyone but self. Most of my "close" friends are on Facebook, God has allowed us to find one another, those who are like-minded and in need of love and encouragement.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Imagine how few friends Noah or Lot had in their times! I am sure they grieved at times over the way people were acting and their rejection of God.

Also over the years, God has shown me that we don't have to do anything at all to be hated because those who are in rebellion sense Christ in us and He is the One they hate."

What Does a Real Friendship Look Like!

When we are friends with someone there is mutual caring and interest. If the interest is one-sided and even disinterest, this is a clue there is no friendship. I have met many people who are interested in us as long as we are paying them compliments or elevating them in some way. They rarely engage when we have something to share that brings us joy or even a trial we are going through.

When we find ourselves approaching a friend all the time but they are not reciprocating then you may have an acquaintance and not a friendship.

Friends seek one another out, both do it, not only one all the time. In the past when I found myself the one always doing the calling or visits while the friend never did this, I would begin to realize the person was being polite but not really interested in a friendship.

Narcissists will not reciprocate, they will expect us to be the ones to always initiate contact and show caring but they will never or rarely do any of this for their "friend." If you find yourself always being the one to initiate contact and never having it returned then you may rethink that friendship. Not that you throw away the person but that it may not be the friendship you thought it was. Place them aside as an acquaintance that you treat respectfully but is not a close friend.

Rather than being disappointed that the narcissist does not seek you out except when they want something from you, this is the time to withdraw and find a new friend. Many people are like this so it is good to pray before jumping into a relationship quickly.

Born again believers want to be good friends, this is rare even in the church. We are living in a culture in which people want to surround themselves with those who will make them happy or give them good things, even if only lots of positive attention.

When a friend is having a trial or even a great joy that they wish to share, the narcissist will negate the joy in some way or become jealous that you have joy. If you are in a trial the narcissist disappears or pretends it's not really a trial.

When we find ourselves not able to share our life experiences with a friend because of disinterest or jealousy then we know that person is not our friend and never has been one. When we are ill and the friend does not show up or call to express concern we know this is not our friend.

As born-again believers we have a desire to be a good friend, sharing in the joys and trials of others. My husband always says: "a joy shared is double the joy and a problem shared is half a problem." This is what friendship is all about, sharing life with someone, all the stuff that happens to our friend.

Proverbs 18:24

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

John 15:12-13

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

When God says a friend lays down their life for their friends it is not necessarily dying for them. When we lay down our lives for our friends we are willing to be interrupted to hear their joy or problem. When we are good friends we love to share about our lives too with our friends.

Narcissists often withhold things about themselves because they want only one side to be seen, that is the perfect side with all its fun and happiness. They are not authentic in their sharing.

We are never inconvenienced when a friend calls to share something whether it be joy or difficulties. We want to hear and we want to share from God's Word. I see very little of this in the church today. Most people do not want to be bothered except and unless it becomes about them.

I really hate the testimonies on the news when someone is asked why they did a good deed and their answer is something like this: "I love to do good deeds because they make ME feel so good." OOPS!!! This person was too ignorant to realize their good deeds were all about their own feelings.

What should a born-again believer say if asked this same question: "someone needed something, I wanted to help them." This is an expression of love for them, nothing about accolades for me.

Perhaps you have some other ways you would express it if the media were to ask you why you did a good deed.

When we find ourselves always making contact a good test of the friendship might be to stop making contact. If you are truly friends, the friend will contact you when you have stopped doing it.

When we love people we are concerned about them, we love to hear what is going on in their lives and we love to respond to them.

Narcissists will often neglect to respond because they are more about control than they are anything else. We do not have to be controlled by the narcissist's back and forth manipulation, we can ignore them and carry on to make meaningful relationships with those who really do care, as we act like caring and loving friends ourselves.

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