Why do I write so much about Narcissism and cultural rebellion against God's principles?
I write a lot about this subject because I believe it is increasing and believers need to know how to deal with it.
Just 40 years ago most people had a sense of kindness and love, now it seems very absent from most things most of the time. And to make matters worse young children are being raised to demand their own way without instruction as to how to be a kind host or hostess.
Manners have gone by the wayside because they are designed to care for others. We offer a drink to guests as soon as they enter our home because we want to make them feel welcome and comfortable. Many people have lost the art of this kind of hospitality.
When our minds are continually on our own convenience, there will be no concern about the comfort of others. Hospitality and manners are for others, not for ourselves.
Romans 12:13
"contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality."
1 Peter 4:9
"Be hospitable to one another without complaint."
Acts 28:2
"The natives showed us extraordinary kindness; for because of the rain that had set in and because of the cold, they kindled a fire and received us all."
Hospitality is not just providing food and hydration, it is also an excitement at the presence of the one we serve. Showing interest in the visitor is part of hospitality.
Narcissists fear rejection because they use rejection and believe others do the same.
Narcissists expect others to do the same things they practice all the time. They live in a state of fear, the way an angry dog expresses his fear through aggression.
Those who are secure in Christ, have no need to immediately intimidate to control others. They enjoy the freedom from the need to be special or elevated by others.
Those who are secure in Christ have no need of praise from others to be validated. The narcissist is heavily invested in the need for praise and adulation, the very reason they withhold it from their targets. They believe they are diminishing and devaluing their target by withholding the very thing the narcissist is dependent upon for emotional survival.
The judgments narcissists make about others is based not on accuracy but their own responses. Since the narcissist is deeply insecure and in need of continual praise, they believe others are too. Withholding praise from others is their way of manipulating emotions for their target to feel bad about themselves.
Those who are secure in Christ are not effected by the tricks of the narcissist because they have few vulnerabilities to prey upon, however they are intuitive to the wiles of the narcissist and choose not to engage with them, even remove themselves to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Satan is all about turmoil, trouble and doubt, he works continually to keep conflict going in relationships, even if those he uses doesn't know they are being used.
The narcissist must lie continually to keep their elevated view of self and diminish the value of their target.
John 8:44 "44 You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
Some people say the narcissist knows how they are hurting you, it is deliberate, but what they don't know is that their thoughts and intentions are twisted through demonic activity within their own minds.
The narcissist works to trigger anger and frustration, their purpose is to be able to get us to sin. If they can get us to sin, they can feel a sense of superiority. Even when they are not able to get us to sin, they will twist the facts to make it seem as though we have sinned when we have not.
The narcissist will poke at us in many ways overtly or covertly in an attempt to bring out the baser side of ourselves, causing doubt and guilt in us. If we see what they are doing and refuse to be manipulated, then the narc has no power.
The narcissist loses all power over us when we obey Christ.
Proverbs 26:4 "4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him."
Matthew 5:44 "44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"
God says to pray for those who mistreat us, and He says to remove ourselves, the blessing God speaks of in Matthew has to do with prayer, not necessarily keeping company with them.
Proverbs 14:7 "7 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge."
We bless our enemies by doing no revenge and refusing to engage in their arguments as well as praying for them. We never remain in the presence of an arguer, there is no edification in that for either party.
Isaiah 26:10 " 10 Though the wicked is shown favor, He does not learn righteousness; He deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, And does not perceive the majesty of the LORD. "
Pretending there is nothing wrong with the wicked man, coddling them in their sin is not showing love nor is it godly. Our job as believers is to speak truth about their condition, when we see them rage and refuse to listen then we must remove ourselves, leaving them to God to deal with.
Our prayer is that the narcissist will hear God and one day repent. Until that happens we must remain at peace in the distance.
When they are ready to hear and are repentant, then we would willingly join in their joy of salvation and repentance.
