Child Rearing God's Way

About child rearing; "more is caught than taught", the children will remember more what we do than hear what we say.

 
We can teach good things but if we model unkind things they will do the unkind things.

 
And, the Father is the primary resource for learning, he leads without trying, whatever the Father does will be emulated by the children.

 
If the Father does not back up the Mother, then the children will learn to treat the Mother disrespectfully because of the Father's lack of support for her.
If the Father demeans the Mother the children will do it too. If the Father treats the Mother as though she is not wise, then the children will have contempt for the Mother.

 
God did not only leave the leading by example and teaching to the Father, He said that whatever way the Father leads is the way the children will go.

If the Father is rude and arrogant the children will be that way too.

 
Mothers have far less influence over their children than the Father. It is the natural way of the family. This is why the Bible places more emphasis on the Father being what he should be because of the impact the Father has on children.

 
God never said the Father is above the Mother, He just gave more responsibility to the Father to be the model for the children and as he supports his wife. Notice God tells the husband to instruct the children AND to obey the teaching of the Mother.
Proverbs 1:8-9 "8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother. 9 For they are a garland of grace on your head and a pendant around your neck.…"

Ephesians 6:1-3
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. / “Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), / “that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”

God told children to obey both parents but when there is a division and the Father will not honor the Mother then the children will come against the Mother.

 
Proverbs 23:22-25
"Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. / Invest in truth and never sell it—in wisdom and instruction and understanding. / The father of a righteous man will greatly rejoice, and he who fathers a wise son will delight in him. ."

To elevate the Father and demean the Mother is wicked in the eyes of God. God's design was for both Father and Mother to have equal influence over the children in solidarity. This takes constant dialogue between the Father and Mother. When there is resistance to conversation about raising the children there is chaos in the home and the onus for this is on the Father who will not discuss things to come to common ground.

 
Ladies remember this when you are choosing a husband. Does he care deeply about what God says on the matter of raising children or is he entrenched in worldly thinking?

 
Most of all, pray that you can remain single until God makes it clear who He wants you to marry. Waiting a few years to hear from God is nothing to spending many years with someone who will not think in terms of Christ in all that we do.

There is Hope in Confession of Sin and the Desire to be Changed by Christ

We know that covert narcissists attack their targets so that others can't see because they know what they're doing and are fearful others will find out. In other words, they know what they do is wrong but like it because it makes them feel power over others they disdain.

 
If they didn't think anything was wrong with their emotional assaults they would do it in front of others, but they always hide it and deny it if caught.
Proverbs 28:13 states, "Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy".

Sadly the person who uses covert means of attack could not possibly believe God sees what they are doing if they think merely hiding it from people is good enough.
Born-again believers hate being unkind to others. Those who do it regularly and like it could not possibly be born-again.

 
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Psalm 32:5
"Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not hide my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah"

There is hope for the wicked person if they will repent, confess their sin to God and desire to be changed by Him, then they can be cleansed of the sin of pride and free from the continual burden of guilt.

Only Christ Can Make Us a Loving Person

Interestingly, most people expect a conversation to go the way they had it in their own heads. When it doesn't go that way they are agitated or outright angry.

 
When we remember this we can be confident in answering authentically rather than falling into the trap of worrying about what others will think.

When we disagree with others who have already decided how we should respond there is anger and frustration in the one who ruminated on how we were supposed to respond in their heads.

Manipulation is a big part of many conversations. Sadly Christians do this with the gospel. They are convinced if they can just get the person to whom they are speaking to say what they want to hear, then they have become a Christian. This is what the "repeat after me" gospel trick is all about. It's not Biblical and lacks the faith that God will be the one to use our word, we don't need to make sure someone "gets it" before we leave.

 
The objective of most people today is not to share information leaving the decision to the person hearing, it is to manipulate the other person into accepting their assertion and coming on board with them. This is a lack of faith, when we obey God, and speak the truth we can walk away leaving all the results to God. We don't feel a need to make sure the person becomes what we expected.

It is not the goal of a born-again believer to win a conversation. We are to share the Word of God and leave the other person with their own choice to accept or reject. We don't need to help God by forcing and intimidating someone.

We have many false Christians today because evangelists are intimidating and manipulative to coerce an answer, causing false conversations based on conversation rather than faith in Christ.

 
When our goal is to win an argument it is a recipe for losing the relationship. Arrogant people do not care about a relationship they just want to win making them feel momentarily superior, the biggest relationship killer of all. "Winning" an argument is really just winning by forfeit, the person that was mocked, demeaned, and bludgeoned did not lose they just became weary of the nonsense and wisely gave it up.

To feel threatened by the rudeness of others is something we have to eliminate in our lives. We must learn to evaluate what someone says and accept it if it is true or dismiss it if it is not true without having any emotional attachment to it.

 
When we are insulted to cause hurt, we can feel thankful to the person for showing us who they are. Anyone who uses insults overtly or covertly is doing us a favor because they are revealing the kind of person we need to stay away from, these are those who love to bait you into useless arguments and fights.

 
Those who bait others in arguments want us to return fire for fire, it is natural to want to fix something through explaining, but if we remain silent and do not engage they are left with their own words on which to ruminate.

 
This is why God said: … Proverbs 26: 3-5 "3A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools! 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he become wise in his own eyes."

God wants us to ignore a fool and his trick to bait us. However, sometimes we need to calmly answer the foolishness and then walk away. God will tell us which and when.

 
Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is holy; do not throw your pearls before swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."

When we continue to argue with a fool we are becoming like them. The need to win an argument is a prideful mindset, it is not of God and does nothing except solidify in the mind of the others person what they already wanted to believe.
Silence is the best defense against bullies. They want a response and they want it to escalate as they manipulate us to be out of control, this is food for them.
Those who use insults are violating the scripture that says we are to control the tongue.

 
Proverbs 18:21 "21Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Evil people know their tongue has the power to bring out of their target angry things. This is why the believer in Christ must become immune to the provocations of the evil person.

 
To become angry when an evil person insults you is to have a higher opinion of that person than you should, fear of them drives us to an angry response. When we are not fearful and do not care what the rude person thinks of us we feel no need to respond or explain anything to them.

 
What the evil person says and how they act is tied to their inner soul of disorder and fear. They fear disagreement, they fear not being in control of others because they think controlling others makes them seem powerful to those watching.
A person who needs to be seen as superior or powerful over others are very insecure and weak-minded person. They walk in fear of people constantly.
What we say and how we respond is who we are in essence.

 
No one can claim to be a kind person if they do not use kind words. They can't claim to be a loving person if they do rude things, even covertly, so that people don't notice except the one who has been targeted for disdain.

 
Proverbs 4:23
"23 Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life."

People reveal who they are by the way they treat others. Some people can hide their real selves from those they wish to impress but they cannot hide themselves from those they think are beneath them.

 
Knowing and practicing the Word of God corrects our flaws and keeps us from becoming a person who is self-righteous and self-absorbed.

Ragingly Insane Times Are Here

God said in the last days "difficult times would come" (2 Timothy 3), in the original language the word difficult means; "ragingly insane" times would come in which very little makes good sense and is even monstrously and radically foolish.

Murdering babies in the womb because they are inconvenient, all the way through the ninth month. Ragingly insane!

Defending and supporting the dissolution of the family through divorce because adults cannot get along with one another. Children becoming distressed and ads on the media saying foolish things like "children can thrive after divorce", are deplorable. Ragingly insane!

Murderers being convicted and housed with free room and board as well as free health care, for the rest of their lives for their crimes, rather than being executed is irrational. Ragingly insane!

Promoting to young children that they should question what gender they are, even having the state come against wise parents who say no, punishing the parents while allowing mutilation of children to be mandated. Ragingly insane!

Many people who say they are Christians rage against Bible truths as though the ones who assert God's Word are the bad ones treated with contempt for their expectation that "all Christians" adhere to God's Word. Ragingly insane!

Preachers teaching doctrines that claim devils mated with women ignoring all the passages that refute such a thing. Ragingly insane!

Promoting the acceptance of homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle without correction asserting that love is what supports the sin when God said that love is to speak against the sin to help those caught up in it realize Christ can free them for eternity. Ragingly insane!

Christ is all about freedom of speech but those who want to sin without guilt oppress those who speak the healing words of Christ are disregarded and punished for their love of God, the truth and the person they are correcting. Ragingly insane!

"Christian" families punish those who speak the truth of the Bible for being rude and mean while those who do not follow the Bible are the rude and mean ones. Ragingly insane!

We are living in the end times in which very little that goes on in the culture is rational and reasonable. Everything is tainted with culturally ungodly thinking while those who think with the mind of Christ are penalized for loving the Word of God more than they care about their own safety or being loved by others. Ragingly insane!

As an elderly person, I have seen the culture grow worse over the years. In my lifetime it was bad when we could see with Spiritual eyes, but now one does not have to have Spiritual eyes to see it, even some secular people are noticing a shift in attitudes over the past 50 years.

Some seculars blame the shift in the culture on self-esteem teachings that ruined the hearts of many people. However, they do not know the Scriptures that say this would happen in the end times. They think they can fix the culture by teaching better attitudes, but it cannot be fixed by anything man does.

It is only through trusting in Christ that individuals can be changed on the inside which changes their actions and reactions on the outside.

The sad news is that the culture as a whole will never be better, but will become worse as God prophesied in His Word.

The hope for mankind is Jesus Christ but the culture will seek every other kind of remedy that will not work because the hearts on the inside are not changed. And, hearts have become hardened toward God. As long as the heart is hardened the mentalities of people will harden along with it.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

Difficult (ragingly insane) Times Will Come

3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Sadly we see this in the cultural Christian gatherings in which personal pleasure and safety take priority over God's Word. Those in the gatherings of cultural Christians kick at the Word of God demanding that He keep them safe and full of happiness but they don't want Him. They only want what He has to offer but don't know that His blessings are not the things they have, His blessings are the peace and joy authentic believers possess who have been changed by Him that they will have as well as their eternity in Paradise with Him.

In other words, cultural Christians are seeking superiority over others, physical blessings such as health and wealth while neglecting the weightier matters of Spiritual fruits that only come from Christ.

Matthew 23:23 "

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the Law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others."

Most cultural "Christians" in our day do not have the fruit of the Spirit of Christ because they do not have Him.

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

Salvation through faith in Christ and the fruit of Christ are the important things!!!!

Obeying God Rather Than Man

Some adhere to the doctrine that all single women should have their father's blessing for who they marry. I do not subscribe to this because many fathers are wicked and would prefer their daughters marry someone who is unrighteous, drinking, cussing, and acting abusive because this is what the father does. Any born-again believers must seek to marry another born-again believer.

 
Ungodly fathers will hate godly men and spiritually abuse those who are not like them.

 
God commanded believers not to become unequally yoked with unbelievers. This is a command that cannot be ignored when a woman is choosing a spouse. To obey the Father in ungodliness is to place the Father above God Himself.

 
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers"

When we obey the unrighteous and follow ungodly matters, we disobey God.

 
Acts 5:29 "We must obey God rather than human beings!"

Remember that obeying God is always first while obeying ungodly Fathers who are not requiring us to sin is good, but when the rebellious Father prefers we sin against God to please him, then we must disobey the Father to obey God.

 
We see in our day many "cultural" doctrines and standards that violate God's word, these we must deny and follow what Christ taught.

 
Matthew 10:28
"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Instead, fear the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

Galatians 1:10
"Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

The Company We Keep